TOUCHING LETTERS FROM SALLY FORTH READERS

Mr. Marciuliano.

Sally Forth. What can one say about Sally Forth? I can only wonder what inspired you to craft this abomination, what fell and grotesque ambitions inspired you to unleash this plague upon the world. "Evil the mind held by no head," they say, and "things have learned to walk that ought to crawl."

There is only one punishment for such hubris. Sir, I say you have damned us all, and damned yourself a thousand times over. Do you even realize what a terrible power you've awakened? Once begun, the process cannot be stopped.

Also, what's the deal with the smirking? What is the DEAL?!

I have finally realized Ted is gay.  He needs to come out of the closet.  Your illustrator has him half-way out now that he is drawn with overwhelmingly feminine features.

Take a good look at how Marcie looked this week!  She is Ted's identical twin — I just can't tell which one is more feminine.

I read your strip every day in the Union Leader and was just wondering why is Ted such a neutered character? Even my wife agrees that he is just totally spineless. I am just curious if your column is basically for the feminist of the world? I am always curious why people give characters the traits they do. I can't tell by your name if you are a woman or a man but I have a couple theories I want to run by you. Is Ted the spineless, butt kissing husband you have or wish you had or if your a guy, he is the spineless, butt kissing man you are?

Everyday I look forward to reading my comics in peace.  I enjoy the classics like Peanuts and Family Circus and I usually have a good time all the way up till I get to Sally Forth.  That might be the biggest piece of crap ever forced on the American public since Carpool with Tom Arnold.  You should do one of two things: 1) Stop writing this 7th heaven knock off crap and move to China or 2) Admit to the world that you can't write a comic to save your life.

Sorry I have to be so blunt, but you suck!

Editor's Note: Family Circus? Are you serious?

Nothing personal, but...

Truth be told, I periodically read the "Sally Forth" strip even though it irks me to no end.  I, for the life of me, cannot imagine who can be an actual 'fan' of the strip [even though I've read of organizations that applaud it, I've never seen an 'individual' who even 'likes' it].  I tend to think it runs in a lot of papers basically because it's, well, a "white elephant".  Take that as you will. This must be horrible for you to read...sorry about that...but I figured I'd pass along my un-asked-for comments anyhow.

Ultimately, it was a recent SF strip that got me "going" on this negative tangent/rant.  I figured I'd send you my original 'rant' (sent via e-mail to a friend) than re-type it in a sanitized way:

The 12/23/04 installment of SF is particulary infuriating! Apparently those Forths have been so busy tending to their professional life/"careers" that they "forgot" to get around to wrapping all their Christmas gifts let alone having the appropriate supplies handy (namely, Scotch tape) to do the job! So Ted suggests using duct-tape (which actually wouldn't be so bad if you can be creative about it but I don't think Ted has a creative bone in his body) rather than, say, packaging tape or something.   SF, of course, rather than suggesting an alternative idea instead shows what a selfish piece of aloofness she is by wondering what they'll be "communicating" by using duct tape! Sheesh! I mean...she's worried that the recipient will somehow believe that the Forth household is "falling apart"?! [I guess she's worried about 'appearences']...as though that thought would come to ANYones mind to begin with!!!    I mean, SHEESH!,  if *I* got a gift secured with duct-tape I can imagine a ton of things I'd think of before "the Forths household is falling apart"!   Examples...1) Cool use of duct tape! [insert relevant joke about "Homeland Security" here];  2) Great use of "alternative packaging!"; 3)  Or, "Heh...they're gonna make me work for this!"    But, noooooo, frickin' SF is concerned only about her own pasty white ass and dyed black hair and nothing more.  Well, she IS concerned with "more"...and that is how her "work associates", or whomever, might "think of her" and her house or household.  A household that she IGNORES!  What a piece of work she is. If there are actually people who chuckle at her daily life, rather than think that her entire household is dysfunctional...I feel sorry for them. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I have endured the fight with Alice, the sexist, racist and outdated boss who needed to go and the smarmy VP who really no longer exists — at least for long —in the real world.  I don't read Sally any longer because she is being written and drawn as a victim.  Where is human resources?  Where is the employee relations specialist?  She has no voice and no spunk.  Obviously, there is a reason behind this writing, but the readers aren't interested.  Give us a Sally with a voice. And get rid of the VP and DO NOT bring back Ralph.  If you don't want to write Sally as an executive because your sexist bias is getting the best of you then hire someone else.  HEY!!! How about a WOMAN????

Additonally, you have absolutely no idea how to write the part of her daughter.  Your characters don't age, fair enough.  However, you might want to see how a real upper middle class 10 year old lives in this country.  Some days Hillary is 10 going on 2 and some days she is 10 going on 18.  

Cathy went through this same phase a few years back. Until Blondie got a job, that strip wasn't interesting any longer.  Baby Blues and For Better And Worse really get the current culture, even if the latter did age April by about 7 years.

Dear Sir,

I have stopped reading Sally Forth until the new Vice President of the company is removed from the script. I have seen his type too many times in industry, and I viscerally hate that type of person. They are, to me, useless people who will not be missed if they happen to die (a heart attack would not be an unwise choice. Him being assulted and left in a comma [sic] during one of his "runs in the park" would be fair also, and at least let him leave the script with some sympathy).

However I have seen the type also fired after less than 6 months a few times, which would also be a fitting fate. Left without a job and his entire self worth shattered would be fine by me. I would be very happy with that outcome.

But until you get rid of this useless piece of trash person, I will
stop reading the strip. And I will ask the Washington Post to stop carrying it. I will even stop reading the Post, as it is something I feel that strongly about. I simply cannot deal with seeing him portrayed in the paper, and portrayed as getting ahead. There is NOTHING I want to know about him, and I cannot cope with reading the comic another day.

Dear Messr. Marciuliano:

For some strange reason, I find myself addicted to your strip about this constantly smirking little example of corporate perfection and middle class feminism — and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm  fascinated with its social and political subtext, which is thoroughly conservative.  To my mind, she's thoroughly obnoxious.  If I worked in her office, I wouldn't trust her for a second.  But I see you're making changes — may I suggest some more?  Maybe it'll help break my addiction, or at least give me some solid reasons for holding on to it.

Now that the new VP is in, let Sally have a torrid affair with him, breaking up her marriage.  After he dumps her and forces her out of her job, she becomes embittered and starts reading Marxist and anarchist literature. She undergoes a complete conversion, and joins a left-wing terrorist underground organization dedicated to destroying capitalism.  She changes her name to Red Sally, and plots to bomb her old corporate office.   Caught by Homeland Security, she ends up in federal prison.  Your strip then spends the next twenty years illustrating her life in stir.

There — now THAT'S something worth following every day!!

Here's one from the vaults:

Mr. Marciuliano,

I was very disappointed in today's (1-11-03) strip in which we find out that Sally Forth's boss, Ralph, has the beginnings of an ulcer and that his condition is treatable. Ralph is such a bitter, hateful, unbearable character that I had hoped his condition would be extremely serious, and in the most perfect of cartoon worlds, fatal. Alas, it seems as artist and creator you have deemed it necessary to let this pathetic, desperate tyrant live to torment others another day, perhaps for the lifetime of the strip. Too bad. It would have been much more entertaining to watch him suffer and die, and have Sally glad that it was happening to him because he so richly deserves it. You had a chance to add another dimension to your main character. It is our loss that you did not seize the opportunity.

Hi,

I'm really enjoying the current storyline of Sally Forth.  In case you haven't written the conclusion, yet, here is my idea to make it great:

First, Ralph gets fired by the visiting boss-guy.  Ralph is so distressed, he hits on Sally as he's leaving the office for the last time.  She punches his lights out.  Ralph staggers to the nearest bar, and drinks himself into a stupor.  Out of his mind on bad liquor, he returns to the office with a big-ass gun and goes postal on everyone, including Sally and that bitch Marcie.  He manages to escape the police and goes into hiding for a few days.  Doing some soul-searching, he comes to the realization that he's always had a thing for Ted.  Ralph drives over to Ted's house, where he hooks up with Sally's wimpy widower.  Ted becomes Ralph's love-bitch.

Hmm.  It occurs to me that if all of this happens, you'd probably have to change the name of the strip from "Sally Forth" to "Ralph".  But that would be okay, since Sally's dead.

That's just one idea; I've got lots more.

Your friend,

Bernie