Night-lover Telescope Tim reveals new images from Saturn, how fast light waves (sometimes known as Radio) travel, and deals with a small insurrection from his technical staff including even the incorrect size-exporting regarding the film's dimensions.
My latest piece for City Scoops is in print and as of yesterday is now available on line. Allow me to start you off with this appetizer and then, feel free to choose from our one available entrees... if not, to go fuck yourself. Bon Appetit.
___________________________________________________________ FOOD IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA You’re a foodie. It’s a recession. You’re broke. What to do? Sean Crespo introduces you to three who found a better way — or, at least, a way.
Given our dire economy, foodies used to expensive nights at our finest restaurants haven’t been this screwed since the time of cholera, as strapped budgets and rising costs force gourmands into eateries that once would have been anathema to their precious and dainty taste buds. City Scoops talked to three prominent Manhattan foodies who were tragically affected by the financial collapse, to find out how — and where — they were able to maintain their exacting culinary standards on such limited funds.
Meet Miles
“I’m 32, divorced, and I don’t have any kids. Well, not that I know of! Heh heh!” quipped this lifelong foodie who lost his VP of High Risk Investments position at Citibank last year. Tragically, Miles ran through his multimillion-dollar firing bonus a bit too quickly, and now can’t afford to eat at the restaurants he used to. Never the quitter, this former financier immediately scouted for more affordable replacements. Miles’ favorite new lunchtime getaway? A little Italian bistro called Sbarro. Found in only 78 greater metropolitan locations, Miles swears by this intimate, family-owned eatery.
The famous SUCCESSORIES calendars have given the world's on line humor community much fodder, taking the original's tame messages of mediocre inspiration and revealing the more honest underbelly of bleakness and hopelessness which they purport to fight.
In all the satirizing and parodying though, the source idea has been lost. The original posters were called SUCCESSORIES because each was supposed to serve as an "ACCESSORY" to "SUCCESS." Hence...that's right. SUCCESSORIES.
Well the world isn't getting any less complicated and dangerous. With shortening attention spans and growing insecurity with our national skill sets, people are absent mindedly placing pens into their veins instead of pockets, watches on their noses, all manner of simple missteps. We here at Drink At Work believe it's important to remind our office friends about those little things, how to put them on, where they go and do not go, those items which don't define us but merely accent us, those seemingly unimportant but many times sharp items we call... ACCESSORIES.
Welcome to DRINK AT WORK's new ACCESSORIES POSTER COLLECTION.
This month we celebrate EARRINGS and what part of the body they go on.
The Central Park ecosystem contains a unique and fertile sampling of all God’s creatures — as well as evidence that on occasion, he *really* screwed up.
There are many amazing creatures in the world: some majestic, some terrifying, and some just downright annoying. But there is no creature that combines all three as splendidly as the Central Park recreational athlete. Whether on foot or on wheels, the day traders, lawyers, and “independently” wealthy health nuts that roam the park’s six-mile perimeter are pound for pound the most unpleasant beasts ever to have evolved in our city. The ecological niche they occupy would already have been filled by the common roach, but for the fact that Modell’s does not yet sell breathable fleece jumpers made to fit a prothorax. So if you should find yourself alone in the park one fine summer day, be sure to avoid any of the following manimals. Your safety — or at least your peace of mind — may depend on it.
The Rapidestrian, or “Speedwalker” GROUPING TERM: Embarrassment As in, “An Embarrassment of Speedwalkers”
First thought extinct in the 1980s due to over-shaming, scientists from the Rapidestrian Preservation Society recently got close enough...
Click here to read the rest of this article at its home, CITY SCOOPS, also available in the print magazine.
"I AM DRUGS" YOUTUBE COMMENTS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER (READ: INSANE)
Every here and again, a new batch of folks seem to stumble upon the satiric film series I co-wrote with Matt Preskenis (directed by Alan Harris), "I AM DRUGS," winner of the 2005 ECNY Award for best short film, ahem.
And 9 times out of a largely retarded 10, these folks deposit a treasure trove of long posts sharing their misguided wrath. The scariest thing is that most of the time, people don't seem to understand that the 5 shorts are just a joke. That's all. A goof. You know, for laughs.
However it's almost an honor that some folks don't know it's fake, which is always a sign of strong satire, ahem again, mingling the mimicking and mocking seamlessly enough that it's hard to tell the intention of the creators...at first.
But it's partly a horror too.
The description of the short series is right there to see for F's sake: a five spot pro-drug PSA campaign. First appeared in the comedy sketch show "The Rise and Fall of Saturday Night."
If that doesn't red flag it for ya, by the time you get to, I don't know, say the second short film in the series, you should be pretty aware it's comedy, that we're making fun of actual PSA's about staying off drugs, that we purposefully created worst case scenarios for our spokesmen to sound off about proudly.
Unless you're 90% of Youtube viewers.
Sigh.
And now, I'd like to share with you, once again, I AM DRUGS parts 1-5. Each short will be followed by a screen grab of some of the latest, greatest comments. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Which is impossible. Since my joy is fueled by hate...which is limitless.
Anderson Cooper and Erica Hill share a laugh over Collateral Victory: The Joe Biden Commemorative Plate. He snickers like a mischievous British schoolboy. Why British? I don't know, there's just something about his giggle. I could be wrong. The laugh might be colonial. Perhaps Canadian? Take a listen.
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