NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: PARENTHOOD

They're making a TV show based on the movie PARENTHOOD. By "They" I mean NBC. And by "making" I mean shitting out of their dried up idea holes.

Worst Gentlmen’s Clubs

Secret Organs

The Olfactory

Savvy Clefts

Supposedly 18

I Can’t Believe It’s A Woman!’s

Infected With Sexiness

Ladies' Anti-Choice

ConSENSUAL

Play It Again Whores

Lent

Urethra de Rouge

Where Babies Come From

Talbot’s Too

Seepages

At Play In the Fields of the Good Lord Look at the Size of Those!

Judy Blume's Private Fudge

Rip You a New One's

Tony Anthony Presents: $30 A Drink

Definitely Not Cops, the adult themed illegal business

Twat Was That You Said?

…and of course

The Room

NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: TOP CHEF LAS VEGAS

Last week's video, this weeks hot topic. I don't know what that means. Anyway, heres my silly little video about TOP CHEF LAS VEGAS. If you haven't seen my first video about TOP CHEF...well, you're a cad and a fop and a dandey-do-nothing. Get thee to a nunnery...that's showing my video for TOP CHEF.

No NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: MORE TO LOVE

Just keep in mind that more to love also means...more to hate. There. I've woven my spell of light hearted humor once again. You're welcome. Now watch the video.

LOGLINES: UPRIGHT BASSIST CLUB

One of many part time jobs I held in LA was asa freelance script coverage dude. I worked in several directors' and producers' offices as well, so I got to see the full gamut of indie to blockbuster scripts and pitches. The one this that always shocked and saddened me though was the raw numbers of it all. It was astounding how many fully written and full-on fantastic scripts never got the go ahead to be made into movies or even developed further.

Yet even more surprising was how many truly terrible scripts got the ok to be shat out of some human script-mill for hundreds of thousands of dollars, based solely on a logline and a title.

AS OF NOW, I am putting this out there: I want a piece of those hundreds of thousands of dollars. And not like the corner of one of the dollar bills, ok, Lady Fate, if you're listening. I mean I want if not all, a large portion of the hundreds of thousands. Ok? No ironic "You got what you wished for" nonsense!

Therefore, in pursuit of this goal I will begin posting, right here on DRINK @ WORK, titles and loglines to terrible, horrible, confusing movie ideas.

Statistically, one of them just HAS TO GET BOUGHT, right?

Right.

Check in regularly, Hollywood.



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UPRIGHT BASSIST CLUB

Genre: ROMANTIC COMEDY

LOGLINE: Two widowed neighbors get a second chance at love when they discover their shared history as professional upright bass players, and then aliens attack.

"ABOUT THREE MINUTES A DAY with Sean & Fenny" #1

Comedian and drinkatwork.com'er Sean Crespo is starting off 2009 in between writing and acting jobs. Fortunately, he has a new, wonderful puppy he's completely in love with named Fenchurch, Fenny for short, to keep him busy. Unfortunately she has now become a full time job that doesn't pay.

She's a handful. He's a jerk. They're cops.

Ok, they're not cops, but they both seem to thrive off of annoying one another. As often as he can, Sean will be posting these 3 minute slices of what life is like as a stay-at-home "dad" forced to take care of a new puppy who's as dedicated to being a nuisance as he is. MANCHILD VS. PUPPY...It's on.

Post Inauguration Re-post: PARTISAN HACKING

Remember when we weren't sure if things were going to get a lot worse or if we'd at least get a halfway decent leader to steer us through it all? Well, things did get worse but at least we have that decent leader. Let's take an "at least it wasn't McCain and Palin that got sworn in" look back on our recent electoral history.

P.S. You can even hear the dog licking my nose.
Photo at end courtesy of Anya Garrett.

NO PRIOR KNOWLEDGE: BIGGEST LOSER

Could "Biggest Loser" really make overweight people even more obese? Can my new puppy, Fenny, get any cuter? Will the IRON FLOOR GYM workout change your life?

Find out.

"I AM DRUGS" YOUTUBE COMMENTS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER (READ: INSANE)

Every here and again, a new batch of folks seem to stumble upon the satiric film series I co-wrote with Matt Preskenis (directed by Alan Harris), "I AM DRUGS," winner of the 2005 ECNY Award for best short film, ahem.

And 9 times out of a largely retarded 10, these folks deposit a treasure trove of long posts sharing their misguided wrath. The scariest thing is that most of the time, people don't seem to understand that the 5 shorts are just a joke. That's all. A goof. You know, for laughs.

However it's almost an honor that some folks don't know it's fake, which is always a sign of strong satire, ahem again, mingling the mimicking and mocking seamlessly enough that it's hard to tell the intention of the creators...at first.

But it's partly a horror too.

The description of the short series is right there to see for F's sake:
a five spot pro-drug PSA campaign. First appeared in the comedy sketch show "The Rise and Fall of Saturday Night."

If that doesn't red flag it for ya, by the time you get to, I don't know, say the second short film in the series, you should be pretty aware it's comedy, that we're making fun of actual PSA's about staying off drugs, that we purposefully created worst case scenarios for our spokesmen to sound off about proudly.

Unless you're 90% of Youtube viewers.

Sigh.

And now, I'd like to share with you, once again, I AM DRUGS parts 1-5. Each short will be followed by a screen grab of some of the latest, greatest comments. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Which is impossible. Since my joy is fueled by hate...which is limitless.

Like Cthuhlu.

ALCOHOL


WEED



HEROIN





PCP



Dimethyltryptamine 42

STM on CNN

Anderson Cooper and Erica Hill share a laugh over Collateral Victory: The Joe Biden Commemorative Plate. He snickers like a mischievous British schoolboy. Why British? I don't know, there's just something about his giggle. I could be wrong. The laugh might be colonial. Perhaps Canadian? Take a listen.