This week I cover the light-hearted legal drama FRANKLIN & BASH. I was lucky enough to get co-star and my BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD Kumail Nanjiani and his wonderful wife WHO IS ALSO MY BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD to do a quick interview with me about the show, their lives together, blah blah blah. I’d say the interview went…well…ish. I mean, no one cried. I did AFTER I shut off the camera, but hey, who amongst us hasn’t cried every afternoon for 3 weeks in a row, right? I’m just a man. I’m not made of untears, right? RIGHT?!!!

Right.

Anyway, click, watch and enjoy/cry.

What is this show about?

OPTION 1: It’s the story of a man who punches the sun so hard it is extinguished.

OPTION 2: It’s the story of a group of dieting soldiers who continually call out for their favorite “light” calorie snack.

OPTION 3: It’s the story of a boxer who we can hope is not nicknamed “Light” or “Lights,” but who is most likely named such only so the producers could use this unimaginative yet overwrought title.

I’m choosing to believe in God today so I can pray for option 1. Join me.

Based on a quick glance at the characters on this show, I’d say part of the SHAMELESS story line involves PBR genetically engineering its own customers. Hey they’re not white trash…they’re white recyclables! We can reuse their carbon molecules to make other poor baby factories!

Q: Is there anything left that we DON’T do “with the stars?”

A: Don’t forget to watch, “Q & A SESSION WITH THE STARS!”

Message received.

This is real. There is no line to be drawn. Let’s all give up together.

ENJOY!

I give at least ten alternate suggestions for the title of this show, all of which are more hilarious (read: accurate) than the actual title, while also introducing the delicious possibility that there may be a man named Tony Anthony at some point. Also, how has Italy not declared war on New Jersey by now?

1. I’m extremely excited for this show.
2. I still get paid to make fun of tv shows, so I did just that with this one.
3. Don’t send me hate mail, super comic book superfans. (I’m sitting under a poster of TRON LEGACY if that will make you feel better.) Why not try writing some Hey Mail instead, as in, “Hey, Sean, I disagree with you but respectfully respect your respectful position.” Try it. It’ll make you feel all analog and real for a change.

And stay tuned till the end for what a world where humans and zombies working together in an integrated economy would look like. Outsourcing party!
YES I TOOK IT THERE.