So this is where it all ends. Prostrate under the blinding lights of the Hexagon Of Extreme Destruction with a Kusari-gama pressed to my throat. It seems obvious to the wildy cheering crowds that I have just been bested by actress Cloris Leachman in the “Super Ninja Death Championship of the Whole World”, airing live on pay-per-view. Or have I?

Maybe some backstory is in order.

(MORE AFTER THE JUMP!)

Dear Charlie,

I’m having a problem at work. I like a quiet environment, but my co-worker likes to play her radio at a volume I find very annoying. We’re in open cubicles so it’s hard to escape the noise. I’ve tried asking her to lower it but she gets very defensive, and my supervisor told me to “work it out.” Any tips on how I can get her to see my side of things?

(CONTINUE FOR LARGER IMAGE)

#thatswhyyourmyex

Unfortunately, we are not authorized to to correct the hashtag’s incorrect spelling of YOU ARE as the possessive YOUR instead of the contraction YOURE (apostrophes are not welcome in trending, it seems). But we are authorized to provide an image that best reflects the spirit of it. Here now…is why you are my ex.