While the others aren’t looking, I’m going to take this opportunity to tell you about my web series, Co-op of the Damned, the benefits of no-budget filmmaking and why you should send me your money. Come with me now…

Maybe it’s Justin Bieber’s ubiquity, or maybe it’s Justin Bieber’s secret Canadian world domination ploy — or maybe it’s just that if I work Justin Bieber enough times into this Justin Bieber post it will result in Justin Bieber-level Google results, Justin Bieber — but it seems that by far the most frequent Words I Never Thought I Would Type have to do with… that guy. But this week feels special…

If you loved “Valentine’s Day” and you can’t wait for “New Year’s Eve” …well, 1. you have a serious problem and should consult a move critic, but 2. you’ll love “Holiday Ensemble Comedy!” Possibly the most perfectly titled movie of all time, it is the core essence of every holiday ensemble comedy ever made, crammed into one perfectly efficient cinematic vehicle that delivers with alarming speed the forced charm and semi-humor you (unfortunately) crave. In fact, there may not even be a movie. The theatrical release may simply be the trailer playing over and over again until you decide to leave for popcorn forever or to find a purpose in life. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

For more life changing advice, visit Shark At Work’s STOP AND THINK ABOUT IT series.

The end-of-year list-making mania continues, and today’s inclusion is probably my favorite. I see a lot of movies, and a lot of them end up being awful. Like, you have no idea. And 2010 seemed to be something of an overachiever when it came to crap films.

But what was the worst of the worst?

It’s the end of the year as we know it, which means Certified Entertainment Journalists such as myself clog up the Internet with lists and lists and lists about the films of the past 12 months. (Or 11 months and three weeks, whatever.) And since there isn’t a bandwagon I haven’t been tempted to threaten with my girth, I decided to get in on the enumerating action.

So, as a run up to Christmas, I’ve got a 2010 movies Top 10 List for each day remaining this week, with surprise on Christmas Day. (The surprise is I won’t be posting anything.) Let’s get started, shall we?

Hey kids! It’s almost Christmas, so to warm your holiday hearts, let’s all watch as my will to live slowly slips out, one word at a time!