Hey kids! It’s time for an exciting new feature from out here in our warm and cozy L.A. office: WORDS I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD TYPE. See, as an entertainment reporter, sometimes I have to type up some pretty unbelievable — or unbelievably petty — things. Here, we’ll chronicle the most absurd of those typings.
LOG LINE: A group of rich, white assholes who only ever seem to wear dinner jackets walk around the city encountering those less fortunate than themselves, learning no lessons, making no important realizations about their shared humanity, all while freely quoting from “American Psycho” as if they didn’t understand Patrick Bateman was a monster but instead a Christ like leader for people in the highest tax bracket. (TERRIFYING)
Foreign Affairs of the Heart LOG LINE: The first female president of the United States, who is a single mother and an Iraq war widow and also Reese Witherspoon, falls in love — against her better judgment — with the caddish, rakish, foppish British Prime Minister of Great Britain (to be played by someone like [...]