Hey kids! It’s time for an exciting new feature from out here in our warm and cozy L.A. office: WORDS I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD TYPE. See, as an entertainment reporter, sometimes I have to type up some pretty unbelievable — or unbelievably petty — things. Here, we’ll chronicle the most absurd of those typings.

THE DINNER JACKET CLUB

LOG LINE: A group of rich, white assholes who only ever seem to wear dinner jackets walk around the city encountering those less fortunate than themselves, learning no lessons, making no important realizations about their shared humanity, all while freely quoting from “American Psycho” as if they didn’t understand Patrick Bateman was a monster but instead a Christ like leader for people in the highest tax bracket. (TERRIFYING)

Foreign Affairs of the Heart LOG LINE: The first female president of the United States, who is a single mother and an Iraq war widow and also Reese Witherspoon, falls in love — against her better judgment — with the caddish, rakish, foppish British Prime Minister of Great Britain (to be played by someone like [...]

It’s alive!!! My little side project of love that’s kept me from my Drinking in L.A. duties is here. Well, the first episode is. Feast your eyes:

Ned is not available right now. He’s snacking. Hope you understand.

Time for an update on the Drink at Work Weight-Loss Cluster Challenge! What, you didn’t know Ned was competing too? Well he is. So there.

It’s time for an extensive Comic-Con 2010 wrap-up! Or, it would be, if Ned weren’t so burnt out from the experience. Let’s roll that footage!