Friday, July 22nd 2011

What Cats REALLY MEAN When They Signal With Their Tails

 

Recently I read up on cat tail signaling in a care2.com piece from PURPORTED cat lover Melissa Breyer. This is my rebuttal to the meowsinformation campaign she calls an article.

She ascribes a whole emotional spectrum to an animal that, though very temper prone, has a very limited range of feelings. In fact, I’ll just say it. CATS HAVE ONE EMOTION AND THAT IS MURDER.

So if you own a cat, here are are the main tail positions you’ll need to watch for and what dangers they are conveying all of which are deadly.

Hoisted high
A cat in a good mood will always be looking to pick a fight, so when you see a tail set confidently a-high like the mast of a pirate ship filled with similarly minded killers, BE CAREFUL. Do not stare directly at your cat, keep your face out of murder-reach, and above all carry a gun and a flashlight. Semi automatic is recommended because cats are fast and most know some form of Jeet Kune Do, but what’s worse, cats travel using the shadows themselves as a medium. They can pounce at you from any source of darkness, but a well timed burst from a flashlight can dissolve that cat back into the in-between place they originally came from.

MORE CAT TAIL SIGNALS after the jump…


 
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