The bad news is, it’s another reality dating contest. The good news is, it’s set in a jungle so maybe someone on the show will get bitten by a never-before-seen species of spider whose venom only kills people who have worked on reality tv shows and we will finally have a solution to this reality tv crisis! DARE TO DREAM, PEOPLE.

Doesn’t this title sound like the beginning of a monologue from the town dance-bully?

DANCE BULLY
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE, Huh? Is that it? Is that what you think, dork? Well me and the guys have a little lesson to teach you about real dancing. Guys, step ball chain and pivot around on this dweeb until he knows who can really dance in this town.

(leans in real close, whispers) We’re letting you off easy for now. Next time, we’ll bring our tap shoes.

Spoiler alert: This show was not based on the Atari video game from 1976!

But what if it had been…

Yes, I also feel that my pairing of “Shedding for the Wedding” and “America’s Next Great Restaurant” was an inspired choice. Inspired by spite probably but still, inspired. And isn’t that all the really matters, hmmmmmm?

Up top so it can crush you into viewing submission is ‘Shedding,’ followed by…

…’AMNG’ so you can order up a bowl of evaporated dreams for dessert. Bon appetit!*

*Translates to “reality television is a cancer in our society but enjoy your meal.”

Do we really need another cop-based spin off of a cop-based show? Wouldn’t it be better to have the original show spin off into a totally unrelated world or to bring unrelated characters into the Criminal Minds universe? I say yes. And I say that show should be TWO AND A HALF MEN.

Also I punch tea leaves in this episode of NPK. So there’s that.

A Hollywood shot show which is supposed to take place in New York. Yes, if only New York city had any TV or movie studios to shoot in. Or any apartments or dive bars so they could use real locations. Sigh… I guess we’ll just have to put our own tiny-room standards aside and try our best to not notice the 2000 sq ft 1 bedroom they’ll probably use as the protagonist’s home. (It’s probably even rent controlled damn THAT LUCKY FICTIONAL BASTARD!!!!