Yea verily, for I am truly the God of Thunder, I shall summon the power of mine Uru hammer and…

You know what? Fuck it. I just don’t have it in me to do the whole “mock-Shakespearian-overblown-dialogue thing“ anymore. Too many years have passed. Too many years.

(READ ON, MORTALS!)

As usual, Tax Day is fast approaching and you know what that means: Tax Day is on its way! If you’re like billions of Americans, you’ve waited til the last-ish minute to file and now you’re a bundle of nerves because you’re afraid you’ll owe so much to Uncle Sam that you won’t be able to tell anyone when he touches your bathing-suit area.

But did you know there are many obscure deductions you can claim to help reduce your tax burden? It’s true!* Here are a some that might lower the amount you have to shell out to pay the government to infringe on your rights.

(MORE AFTER THE JUMP!)