tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-223943112008-04-02T15:22:26.617-04:00CarolBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-44280431625699710472008-04-02T15:18:00.002-04:002008-04-02T15:22:26.648-04:00

Since taking on the full time role of resident Fake Rockstar over the last few months, I've learned some interesting things about myself. Allow me to share... 1. No matter how hard I try to keep a schedule, procrastination continues to make me her bitch. That's right, procrastination is a female. Deal with it. 2. Not showering for days and not doing laundry for weeks as an adult is much less fun

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-40758974797383835362007-12-10T15:25:00.001-05:002007-12-10T15:38:51.492-05:00

So, Boing Boing just posted this: (click on disturbing baby for story) Being a cartoonist, I was reminded of this modern (somewhat) movie classic (not really) from 1981, The Hand (be warned, fake blood and bad editing ahead): ...Then his hand, now free of it's horrible puppeteer, proceeds to kill everyone that wronged it in the past. Good times. Good times. The disembodied hand: Now

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-54719427581151272232007-11-01T15:57:00.000-04:002007-11-01T15:58:02.662-04:00

Dear Sir, While I appreciate you and your team's continued perseverance to keep my biological faculties in order, and functioning enough for this Fake Rockstar to be accepted into society, I have some issues with a few of the operational choices you've made as of late. I've made a list to post on the Medulla Oblongata break room fridge: 1. There's a definite problem with the motivation drive.

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-45334634756650866552007-10-24T09:18:00.000-04:002007-10-24T09:19:10.668-04:00

I've got some pretty big things brewing, so I've had to push Barkeater Lake and Li'l Spencer aside while I get the paying jobs in order. This, unfortunately is how it goes until one single gig can cover the bills. The Elderberries helps, MAD helps and the rest has to come from freelance work, which I have to take time to go out and get. If I pick up a lot of new work, the fun stuff (BL, Li'l

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-38780862219364989442007-10-23T09:30:00.000-04:002007-10-23T09:35:21.447-04:00

Anonymous' last post on the Angry Eyebrows blog was his/her 10,000th post to Drink at Work.com! Over the years, "Anon", as he/she often prefers, has really set us straight. From the vague three paragraph diatribes analyzing why our site is unfunny, to sharply criticizing our poor work ethic and lackadaisical attitude, you do indeed rock! Kudos to you, Sir/Ma'am/Miss! We all wish we had life

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-49929569710716091552007-10-17T10:07:00.000-04:002007-10-17T11:42:23.904-04:00

I'm torn. I really didn't like that song. I did try to like it and Natalie Embruglia was fun to look at, but that tune drilled a hole my head. Sorry. ANYWAY... I'm torn on what to say it is I do for a living. Evidently, I'm a cartoonist. And I'm not very proud of it. I think I'd rather be a REAL Rockstar, or someone who gets paid to name celebrity voices in TV ads (I'm a hoot at parties). But

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-80579192138167607392007-10-11T11:15:00.001-04:002007-10-11T11:19:21.807-04:00

I work from home and my office faces the back of our house. Behind my backyard is a total white-trash day care center, complete with a Rottweiler, Dachshund and a sand box they poop in when the kids are inside. When the kids are outside, its unbearable. They scream just to scream pushing, me to a point when I stick my fat head out the window to yell "Shut the fuck up!". Today, however, was

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-33754165178013079782007-09-28T16:53:00.002-04:002007-09-28T16:54:44.643-04:00

Corey's a bit under the weather, so Li'l Spencer will up a bit later than intended. Thanks for your patience. Cheers, R_star

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-41649235777348459522007-09-19T07:55:00.001-04:002007-09-19T08:27:55.313-04:00

Today, September 19th, is National "Talk Like a Pirate Day". It's also my birthday, and according to the Ancient Comedy Gods Rules and Behaviors Handbook, whatever I say today goes. So, in addition to talking like those endearing and cursed seamen, I say we all act like the indestructible Keith Richards for the day. Drink through that liquor cabinet! Smoke anything that roles tightly into a

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-40835970687698409392007-09-05T09:32:00.001-04:002007-09-10T13:44:38.490-04:00

Update: Li'l Spencer now how his own page, here at Drink at Work.com. From now on, you can catch new episodes here: Li'l Spencer's Adventures. Please make a note of it. New Adventures are on the way, as I needed to sacrifice the time to build the new page and archive. Cheers! R_Star From all the fruity-gumdropped emails of threats and hate I've received lately, you all seem to be enjoying

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-28653719775929534382007-08-29T10:22:00.001-04:002007-08-29T10:30:26.335-04:00

Scene: A half-filled Gritty McDuff's, Portland, ME. A cartoonist stands alone at his usually spot, stage left. A loud group of young sales people enters from the right. Cartoonist rolls eyes. Salesman from Hell #1: "Everyone sit here with my friend from New York City! That's right, New York City! He can teach you a thing or two, because he lives in New York City. How about we have drinks like

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-2830845498139457812007-08-22T12:39:00.001-04:002007-08-26T10:35:45.079-04:00

Listen up, all you Holier Than Thou Internet fucktards, Hell bent on blogging to me what's cool and why, with your self-proclaimed "expert" status... I'm callin' you out and I'm gonna kick your skinny little Indie asses if you don't start to shape up. You can all take your little blogs, your YouTube diatribes and your crappy webcomics about World of Warcraft and shove 'em up your tightened little

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-18926043763463012162007-08-16T09:25:00.000-04:002007-08-16T13:03:13.074-04:00

"Bright Lights, Big City" --------------------------------------------14 Aug 2006, 9:17am. Woke up in a pool of standing water again. I don't why I continue to listen to Lenny. Every time he says he's in the mood for Italian, I end up having a near death experience, full of some diluted, fat guy named Vito. Lenny's a bastard. I need to find a new swarm. "Lenny" -------------------------------

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-13753926153769496712007-08-14T10:15:00.000-04:002007-08-14T10:16:05.767-04:00

Used to be, things just happened to me. Mundane, funny or tragic, they happened, folks reacted and life moved forward. With the advent of this here insane asylum we call the Interweb, however, I now have this overwhelming pressure to share what happens to me every second of everyday with "my fans". Do I feel the adoring public really needs to know? Or is it that I fear I may suddenly be forgotten

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-56977605980256560652007-08-08T11:54:00.000-04:002007-08-08T12:08:51.513-04:00

Several years back, we bought season tickets to the Portland Sea Dogs, a AA affiliate of the dreaded Redneck Sox (At the time of purchase, they were affiliated with the Marlins... so can it, Sox fans). Anyhoo, over the years, the seats around us have become our own little incorporated town of season ticket holders, resulting in a feeling of Xenophobia that brings a relentless questioning of

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-68468116575908662732007-07-27T23:18:00.000-04:002007-07-28T09:04:17.708-04:00

The best photo I've seen from a Comic-Con yet. Photo credit: New York Times online I doubt this is the first time he's had that much latex up the ol' wazoo... The best part is the urinal pads are green like him. Ya think he feels he needs to pee in every one? Just in case his nemesis, the "Red Pilot Light" wants to use them too? Cut to a few months later, at home (the car): "Daddy? Is this

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-2257003524869514362007-07-10T16:04:00.000-04:002007-07-10T16:05:06.434-04:00

Posting form the satellite office in the Adirondack High Peaks. Here's what I've overheard the last few days... "There's a salve for that..." "Well, I can tell ya who I haven't fucked in this bar..." "That's that guy... The one who draws the squiggly lines." "Guys! I saw Bono at the Waterhole and Moose pinched his ass!" "Mother fucker" "Mother pussbucket" "Fuckin' A. right" "Life is like

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-82607340999733122322007-02-18T18:55:00.001-05:002007-02-18T18:55:52.953-05:00

Gather 'round children, I want to tell you a story. A story of a journey. A broken journey... We begin at the rental car counter at the sunny Portland, ME International Jetport. That's right, I said "Jetport". No propeller powered aircraft in Southern Maine, no sir. This isn't the 1946 post war USO show extravaganza staring Bob Hope and Miss Bim. No, this is 2007 mid war Wednesday... uh..

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-1167840850503634682007-01-03T11:14:00.000-05:002007-01-03T11:14:10.523-05:00

Ziggy Dead, Obscure Panhandlers with Cute Signs Jobless Ted Forth Announces Homosexuality, Populous Underwhelmed Charlie Brown Discloses Long Battle with Alopecia, Zig Zag fetish Government Declares "Funky Winkerbean" and "Zippy the Pinhead" Offensive Phrases Odie Arrested for OUI. Again. Former Comic Strip Star Tiger Udders Racial Slurs at Comedy Store, Career in Jeopardy Snuffy Smith

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-1156939193511329552006-08-30T07:59:00.000-04:002006-09-05T09:13:00.373-04:00

The last time the wife and I were in the city, we took an afternoon train ride to Coney Island. We brought along another couple and tickets to a Cyclones game. It was cool. Coney Island’s a trip and the Cyclones stadium had ample ballpark food and cold beer. There was this weird wedding ceremony on the field after the game where the bride and groom walked under a player' crossed-bat canopy and

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-1155212866316157612006-08-10T08:22:00.000-04:002006-08-23T08:52:55.233-04:00

Dear Mr. Torrance and distinguished members of the Board, It is with great joy and a Maker's Mark-induced belligerence that I present you with my resignation. Five years ago, I began pissing my days away as Department Manager in this stale, fluorescent poisoned hovel you so generously call an office. Today, I stand before you as a nothing more than a sad, hallow shell of a man. I'd like to

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-1154546880357274962006-08-02T14:53:00.000-04:002006-08-02T15:28:03.350-04:00

Builder: Confide in a trusted friend. Explain all your hopes and fears and use their advice to slowly start up that road to feeling better. Breaker-downer: Drink a twelve pack of High Life, drunk dial your best friend and throw up on your phone. Builder: Find something that you're good at, makes you happy and distracts you from your stress. Breaker-downer: Find a couple in love, approach them

Fake Rockstartag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-1151496951342804542006-06-28T08:14:00.000-04:002006-06-28T08:20:57.483-04:00

Looking back on my life, after talking with friends recently, I’ve come to realize that my childhood was weird. Not weird in the sense that I was molested by a drunk uncle, or so poor, that dirt was the “meat” in our stew, no, more in the Grandfather-almost-setting-each-family-member-on-fire-at-least-once brand of weird. I grew up in this tiny town in the Adirondacks to a father who spent his

Francesco Marciulianotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-1150298029355305052006-06-14T11:13:00.000-04:002006-06-14T11:13:49.373-04:00

There’s a constant nagging that goes on in my head. It has a little to do with me being a control freak and a whole lot to do with procrastination due to depression. I have so many things to do these days that I don’t want to start any of them, so I wait until the last possible second to start anything. This attitude results in even the most creative and passionate of tasks becoming nothing more

Francesco Marciulianotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394311.post-1149682386991148852006-06-07T08:09:00.000-04:002006-06-07T08:44:43.236-04:00

All right, Class of 2004!… What? … Really? Are you sure? Okay. Sorry, Class of 2006! Rock on! Wow, I remember my High School Graduation, like it was last Tuesday. It was all in the gymnasium, the speaker was Randy Rhodes and the opening act was Foghat. Afterwards, six of us, including that hot English teacher Mrs. Landry got naked and baked homemade donuts in the cafeteria until dawn. Wait a tic

Francesco Marciuliano