tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-223943992008-03-09T16:06:24.547-04:00CarolBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-91342794029674647642007-06-18T09:32:00.000-04:002007-06-18T09:33:03.319-04:00

As you know, my father once accused me of leaving a demon in the house...this is how I dealt with it. Well, part one of how I dealt with it.

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-47746785259924941192007-06-07T14:16:00.001-04:002007-06-07T14:20:40.448-04:00

If you had gone to one of the greatest dramatic academies in the world you'd be more familiar with this Mamet classic... and others. Write to Sean and become a successful actor: SeanCrespoWillTeachYouVlogging@gmail.com

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-80331177707472039832007-06-04T13:41:00.001-04:002007-06-04T13:41:02.850-04:00

What you're about to see is manipulative and dishonest... but it's REALLY cute! This is Sylvia Jane Krueger. For three years I was a male nanny and grew to love this little girl and her brother (featured two vlogs from now) Jacob. They're smart, cute, and most importantly, my ticket to the big table at NBC. NBC, listen, I can't be any more direct about this than I already have. Watch the vlog.

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-57850136330021100332007-06-01T16:40:00.001-04:002007-06-01T16:40:44.956-04:00

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-82172959914316775122007-04-09T12:44:00.000-04:002007-04-11T15:26:42.323-04:00

Greetings True Believers... This weekend I visited my paternal family in Virginia. Lovely people. Great folks. But I may as well be adopted. Since about the age of 10, I've only ever seen them every couple of years at best. Fortunately, though we don't always keep in touch, the aloofness that can develop from this kind of distance, the kind that generally makes the heart grow not fonder

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-15437702685077679652007-03-29T15:46:00.000-04:002007-03-30T13:13:35.002-04:00

Above: Michael Jackson opted to appear live via satellite for the press conference. This is real: Michael Jackson is going to create a 50 foot robot version of himself as part of a Jackson themed attraction in Las Vegas. This is real: The robot is intended to stride "around the desert, firing laser beams." This is real: Luckman Van Pier, Jackson's business partner told the New York Daily

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-52357483391448179612007-02-22T17:01:00.001-05:002007-02-22T17:01:25.670-05:00

Above: a poster for the "Morning Show with Mike and Juliet" We could sit here and spend hours picking apart the people in these photos. The bright neon tie chosen by focus group, the desperately careful pose meant to suggest comraderie and ease between the two hosts, the smiles meant to convey nothing more than the reflection of a tv studio's vapid topicality. We could do all this and more,

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-39047186841575118272007-02-16T14:40:00.001-05:002007-02-16T14:40:42.767-05:00

Recently I taped a set for comedynet.com. It was magical. Check it out. Also stay tuned for my new video blog or VLOG or VIDLOG or VIDEBL or VB or VIDEOBLO or EOOG. Any of those well known nicknames. They start going up at ComedyNet Monday February 19. Be there or be a pear. Which I like anyway. They're crisp and delicious. Sorry, I'm just no good at establishing high stakes.

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-11187898175884943842007-02-12T14:42:00.001-05:002007-02-11T16:21:53.964-05:00

People With AIDS Plaza. It exists. I work a block from it. Perhaps it's time to retire Political Correctness? LOOKING TO VISIT SOME OTHER NOT-SO-FAMOUS LANDMARKS IN NYC? Try these out... Koalas with Spyroketes Shopping Mall The Cyberorganic Hedge Funds with Attitude Bridge Invisible Bakeries with Rickets Stadium The Statue

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-70198959103349013892007-02-07T12:09:00.001-05:002007-02-07T12:24:08.225-05:00

I am so sick of the liberal Medea in this country. So Medea, this left wing feminazi, murders her two kids and instead of going to jail, she becomes a celebrity when the New York Times and the ACLU get behind her "right" to abort her kids at the 43rd and 39th trimesters respectively. Then what does she do? She flees the country in a dragon-pulled chariot provided by her grandfather. And just

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-79434733447243182032007-02-05T13:20:00.001-05:002007-02-05T13:20:44.483-05:00

Over the weekend, I was sent a link to one of those clips where some interviewer from another country talks to a (hopefully not but highly likely) random sampling of U.S. citizens and asks them a series of idiotically simple questions along the lines of..."Which of these is not a primary color: red, blue, or muffins?" This interviewer is usually then richly rewarded with such stunning gems as "

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1169748527567782612007-01-25T13:08:00.000-05:002007-01-26T09:27:06.533-05:00

Look Miss...er, Misses, I'm sure you have many fine qualities. Included among them, just at a glance, I can tell is girth. So that's something. You also possess many, many chins. Ten gazillion and three if I counted correctly. I can't be 100% sure of this number however since 1. I'm not sure if that gazillion is even a real number, and 2. your most notable non-girth-related quality seems to

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1169742828178019042007-01-25T11:33:00.000-05:002007-01-25T11:33:48.196-05:00

Dearest Future Bride, I have accepted your father's mildly generous dowry of 12,000 hectares of good Northumberland Swamp Meat and one Mormon Tabernacle preserved half-eaten in amber. The wedding will take place tomorrow at High Duskuary. Pastor Emanuel Higgenmirth will preside during the sentencing. And not to be outdone by our village's celebrations from last Equinox's very successful

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1169151264601648292007-01-18T15:14:00.000-05:002007-01-18T15:14:24.616-05:00

I work in a federal agency. FOR NOW. It's called a day job, everyone. I can't say which agency though because the FBI, CIA, NSA, and several other acronyms will hunt me down if I give away my location. Regardless of the consequences however I am now going to discuss government offices in general hey what's that red dot on my ches- PING! Silly sniper! You can't shoot me with regular rounds.

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1168031712722572982007-01-05T16:15:00.000-05:002007-01-05T16:15:12.743-05:00

But yeah, let's keep that "debate" about global warming going a little longer. I'm so tired of beautiful snow peacefully blanketing the ground and enjoying hot cocoa inside after a snowball fight and not sweating in January. Really, it's got to come to a stop. Thankfully, America's business butt-buddies, the Republicans, have been doing God's work (well, the God in Revelations at least) and

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1167835316314873232007-01-03T09:41:00.000-05:002007-01-03T09:46:42.556-05:00

Working with a grant from the think tank the Institute for American Dating Studies (IADS), a series of pairs of diametrically opposite, polar personalities from similar fields and socio-economic backgrounds were selected to go on 10-15 dates and to record the events therein and to observe how, or rather if, their feelings for one another progressed. There are ten pairs in total. Comedians Sara

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1166553738093169882006-12-19T13:41:00.000-05:002006-12-19T18:11:18.603-05:00

Your search for "LUXURY APARTMENT LISTINGS" has produced this option: MANHATTAN EYE STOPPER! In the heart of Manhattan, situated perfectly between the West Village and an unknown crater on what we think may be one of Jupiter's moons (possibly Ganymede), lies a unique apartment community that brings the best of New York right to your doorstep, which itself can be found on the roof. Great

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1166033158161795312006-12-13T13:02:00.000-05:002006-12-13T13:05:58.173-05:00

Why is this the world we live in? Why am I wearing a clip-on tie? What do angels smell like?

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1166030395932707012006-12-13T12:19:00.000-05:002006-12-13T12:19:55.943-05:00

Be sad, everyone. From everyone who took joy from your brilliant work... WE SALUTE YOU, PETE! Thank you for having been you. And I'm sorry you were #3. I was really hoping it would be someone I hate. not so.

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1165960060505855442006-12-12T16:47:00.000-05:002006-12-12T16:47:40.516-05:00

Two months ago I was once again IN THE GODDAMN chips, earning my living in comedy, on a stand up tour, writing for a cool website (officepirates), selling short films, etc. It was great. CUT TO: THE DAY BEFORE SEAN CRESPO'S 30th BIRTHDAY I sit in a small cube and wear a clip on tie. I work at a bloated government agency where my townie coworkers routinely describe our part of downtown New

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1165949098722480092006-12-12T13:43:00.000-05:002006-12-13T11:25:43.733-05:00

Don't be sad, everyone. Think of his death not as the end of this being known as Milton Friedman, but as his body being privatized by worms and dirt. Rejoice that Milton Friedman's soul-body connection has finally been deregulated. So no, he didn't just "die." What really happened was he outsourced his consciousness to a higher plane. So from everyone in America no longer able to earn a

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1165434083260193172006-12-06T14:40:00.000-05:002006-12-06T14:41:23.273-05:00

One of the best comedy shows in New York City is retiring after a glorious four year run. I speak of course of Giant Tuesday Night Of Amazing Inventions And Also There Is A Game. Good night, sweet princes (and princess) of comedy. We will take good care of your throne, which ever awaits your return. (NOTE: That was a metaphor. There isn't really a throne waiting for you.) If you'd like to

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1163716029184966572006-11-16T17:26:00.000-05:002006-11-16T17:27:09.213-05:00

Don't be sad, everyone. Think of his death not as the end of this being known as Milton Friedman, but as his body being privatized by worms and dirt. Rejoice that Milton Friedman's soul-body connection has finally been deregulated. So no, he didn't just "die." What really happened was he outsourced his consciousness to a higher plane. So from everyone in America no longer able to earn a

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1163616231773587172006-11-15T13:42:00.000-05:002006-11-15T13:43:51.790-05:00

...yet asks me every F'ing day if I have an Alan Key in there and detains me an extra hour searching my bag 1. a jar of human balls. 2. 8 hundred million paper clips. 3. old school porridge (hot) with raisins and hummels floating in it. 4. the cast of RENT. 5. a jar of human balls with an attached sign reading "This is a stick up. Place your balls in the jar and no one gets hurt." (note:

The Crespotag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22394399.post-1162846932295025922006-11-06T16:01:00.000-05:002006-11-07T12:11:45.153-05:00

Congressman Derringer Kilbus (R-SM) an apology for BEST WESTERN ROCK Before I begin my formal statement regarding my recent commissioning to have the large rock formation at Deadman's Curve on Interstate 95 painted to resemble the entrance of a Best Western hotel and the subsequent thousands of collision related deaths, let me first say how very proud I am to be standing in this room with

The Crespo