The
New Drink at Work.com Weekly Article for an Intellectually-Redefined
America
Francesco
Marciuliano
George W. Bush’s victory in the popular vote not only gave
us pause for the imminent decline of Western civilization but also
served as notice that we at Drink at Work.com have wildly overestimated
the mean IQ of the American public. So today we offer a brand new
article that we feel both better addresses and represents what we
now understand to be the average intellectual capacity of the United
States citizen. Enjoy.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. We make a funny.
Funny, funny,
funny.
Laugh, America.
Laugh.
Laughter is
like tickling in your insides.
Laughter is
like vomiting, only you spew joy, not juice.
Uh oh. There
goes the juice.
Now we’re
sad.
Want to hear
a joke?
Sure. Jokes
make us happy again.
Knock knock.
Who’s
there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who who?
Who who who
who?
Who who…wait…
What?
Did you knock
or did I knock?
Someone knocked?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
We’ve
got a million of them.
A million is
just like a billion, only with a different beginning to the word.
Like “reason”
and “poison.”
How about another
joke?
By all means.
What did the
Father Chimney say to the Baby Chimney?
What?
“I’m
made of bricks.”
Ahhhhhh…
Get it?
It’s
funny because it’s true.
But sometimes
the truth hurts, you know.
Yes, sometimes
the truth is like being punched repeatedly from the inside.
By something
frightening, something downright horrible.
Something lodged
in your stomach or chest or head.
Something always
punching, always hurting and never, ever seeming to want to leave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don’t
get it.
Me neither.
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