Foamed at mouth for nine more hours, first on stage, then in press room, then while hanging upside down from rafters of Madison Square Garden.

Ran down Seventh Avenue, naked and repeatedly screaming "Zell smash!"

Angrily swatted at planes from atop Empire State Building.

Flipped squad car. Tore into vehicle's exposed underbelly with own teeth.

Converted to Republican Party by drinking blood of all orphans he captured with butterfly net.

Replaced own hands with battle axes, chest cavity with mini fridge.

Tried to breed race of "super bagels" by cross-mating bread dough with Kodiak bears.

Challenged all comers to "fiddle contest" for their very souls.

Hijacked 6 train. Demanded conductor take him back to 1950's.

Stabbed elderly and poor indiscriminately while straddling a freed circus lion.

Chiseled 300-foot likeness of self into side of Chrysler Building using only his bare fists.

Amassed cabal of homeless people for own "Transient Legion of Doom."

Believed himself to be Spiderman after mistaking own string of drool as webbing. Fell 40 stories.

Consumed 14 gallons of high-octane gasoline to ready himself for cross-country run.

Argued long and loud with penguins in Central Park Zoo. Eventually adopted many of the birds' more salient political points.

Flew over midtown for one whole minute courtesy of own makeshift "human crossbow" device.

Officially renamed home state of Georgia "The Sovereignty of Almighy Zog."

Attempted to singlehandedly build Tower of Babel in East Village using inferior "Mega Blocks" as opposed to far more acceptable "Lego" bricks.

Sought to raise army of dead in Potter's Field, first with incantation, then with shovel.

Rubbed himself provocatively against trees, traffic cops.

Mounted statue of Iditarod dog Balto in Central Park. Awaited birth of marble puppies.

Spun around in circle all night in attempt to reverse earth's rotation.

Saluted Nazis during performance of "The Producers."

Repeatedly bellowed "Zell shall have thee!" to every attractive woman on sidewalk.

Set fire to self, did "the worm."