Coming to TV this Fall!

“Six recent college grads with big dreams and little real-world experience get a harsh wake-up call when a cougar breaks into their house one morning.”

“A world-renowned author of proper etiquette guides meets a robot with sass-mouth in the most exciting docudrama of the season.”

“The Brady Bunch is back! And this time they’re working Homicide.”

“A miserable old woman learns to laugh again when a small child enters her life and proves so remarkably stupid she can’t help but giggle.”

“When a group of cater-waiters decide to join forces to fight crime, the screams will be deafening.”

“16 contestants will get to live out their cover-band dreams by playing in crap bars to exasperated girlfriends while holding down three jobs each for the next 20 years.”

“Elizabeth Santos was the leading veterinarian for mythical beasts, until one day she was diagnosed with acute dementia and all her patients were discovered to be elaborate sock puppets.”

“Forget everything you thought you knew about the Portuguese!”

“From the people who brought you the lovable ‘Dora the Explorer’ comes a jarring portrayal of white slave traders.”

“At prestigious St. Thomas Medical Center, Dr. Danial Vorten plays by his own rules. Join us each week as he inadvertently poisons, cripples or kills a new patient.”

“Meet George Baker—Husband. Father. Schnauzer.”

“When an agoraphobic is told he’s going to summer camp, he somehow manages to wedge himself under the family fridge.”

“No one knew what Lydia was capable of until the oncoming truck betrayed her lack of speed.”

“It’s all over but the shouting when two combatants blind each other and can no longer fight.”

“When a monkey is elected to the U.S. Senate, voters are clearly sending Congress some sort of message.”

“It was the time of Pax Romana and people couldn’t have been more bored.”

“In the Wild Wild West you either learned to shoot or you learned a trade. This is the story of three loom repairmen.”

“The 2006 Ford Explorer and the new Motorola Razr V3 star in some show about spies or something.”

“Life imitates art as each week a contestant is transformed into Cezanne’s ‘Still Life with Plate of Cherries.’”

“Two federal agents are about to uncover the most shocking scandal in the history of the United States when one of them quits. Seriously, he leaves just like that.”

“The law firm of Brennon, Barclay & Associates had never won a case until Steve Donaldson signed on as their first attorney.”

“For everyone who longs for the expertly crafted and emotionally rich character-based humor of ‘Roseanne,’ we beg you to reconsider.”

“Finally, a show that blows the lid off the Merchant Marines.”

“Based on the movie ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’…”

“Tommy Lee enrolls in M.I.T. and this time it’s just kinda sad.”

“If you ever wondered what happens to someone after they die and are buried, you won’t believe where we placed our cameras.”

“It’s twice the fun when a man and his clone adopt two sets of identical twins from matching…Wait, let’s start over…”

“’Six Feet Under’ meets ‘The Apprentice’ and yet we were still able to find some willing contestants.”

“We gathered ten of the hottest reality series stars together to address the American public’s concern about a potential housing market bubble.”

“Introducing the one show that truly captures the heyday of Musical youth mania.”

“One child will be raised by a loving, supportive family in a well-to-do neighborhood with a top-ranked public school system. The other child will be raised by wolves. Which one will be shot by poachers? Tune in to find out.”

“From the network that brought you such great comedies as ‘Seinfeld,’ ‘Frasier’ and ‘Friends’ comes another ‘Law & Order’ series.”