"Wow, NBC hasn’t focused on a single American athlete yet."

"Once again a doping scandal has rocked the badminton world."

"If you ever needed proof that rhythmic gymnastics is a real sport, there it is."

"Remember, don’t play up the ‘war angle’ when covering Iraqi athletes."

"You want to see team unity? You should check out the Italians."

"People just can’t seem to get enough of Olympic mascots Phevos and Athena!"

"Gather every single guy you know and meet me at the ladies’ field hockey arena!"

"China and Taiwan have decided to share the gold medal."

"This is the Olympics. We don’t need your corporate sponsorships."

"I’m getting sick and tired of Canada’s uppity attitude."

"We completely sold out of modern pentathlon T-shirts again."

"The network only wants objective ‘video dairies’ on the athletes. Don’t play on the viewers’ emotions."

"Now that I won the gold, I want to become a professional discus thrower."

"And yet another synchronized swimming team will be performing to ‘Sister Christian.’"

"For me, nothing embodies the true spirit of the Ancient Greek Olympic games like beach volleyball."

"It’s 9 a.m. and the Irish soccer team looks fresh-faced, bright-eyed and ready for action."

"I could listen to Bob Costas all night."

"Jeez, it seems like simply everybody’s rooting for the United States these days."

"Why do we have to call them ‘Home Depot Athlete of the Day’? Why can’t we just call them ‘Athlete of the Day’? After all, everybody already knows our company’s name."

"Look at the D-cups on that gymnast!"

"MSNBC is getting incredible ratings with their Olympic coverage."

"Man, Portugal’s winning everything!"