Wedding Invitation Warning Signs

The bride and groom
have written their own
slam poetry.

Be prepared for vigorous
political discourse.

As lifelong fans of “Space: 1999,” the couple…

Once the blaze has been extinguished,
the ceremony will commence.

Please, Daniel, don’t make a scene.

Furries will be seated to the left,
non-furries to the right.

We invite each of you
to bring a carousel of slides.

While we have nothing against
Jewish people per se…

If anyone sees Janet tell her
to meet me at the altar by 4.

Arrive early with work boots,
a hammer and a can-do spirit!

Please select your avatar beforehand.

And on the mouth-harp…

We will be heard.

We apologize in advance for
our future Italian in-laws.

Do not directly address the druids.

The following event may be too intense
for the young and easily frightened.

After that we’ll proceed
to the elimination round.

We’re not in the mood for any shit, got it?

Please abstain from liquor or dancing.

Do not block the skeeball machines.

This time we mean it.