Overheard on the Camp-Out Line for “Revenge of the Sith”

“Read ‘em and weep! Straight flush. Lose the Tusken Raider bandolier.”

“This is the exact same ‘Star Wars’ sleeping bag I got as a birthday present back in 1977. Same for the C3PO Underoos.”

“Y’know, if this is what it’s like being homeless, I think I could handle it. In fact, I’m gonna give up my lease, quit the rat race and just…Fuck! I lost my Wi-Fi connection!”

“$50 in the end Anakin doesn’t become Darth Vader.”

“At first my parents weren’t going to let me camp out. But then I said, ‘Look, I’m 35-years-old, I have a spare retainer, why won’t you let me live?!?”

“Maybe this is a tad obsessive. But at least being on line keeps me from stalking Erin Gray.”

“Dear Diary—Ate my last Power Bar yesterday. Ran out of Wet Ones last week. No one to turn to for help. Why in God’s name did I camp out at a theater in South Dakota?!”

“I can’t believe I’m wearing the wrong corrective shoes.”

“I bet since I quit my career my boss hasn’t had a single good day at the Cinnabon stand.”

“I do, too, have a girlfriend! Her name is ‘Chatty Cathy1249’!”

“Actually, I despised the last two films. But I saw ‘Star Wars’ when I was ten so I really don’t have a choice in the matter.”

“I don’t care what your charisma is! The elf guards of Helendrail Castle are not easily swayed by flattery.”

“Everything was going great until she asked, ‘How come they never show Babylon 1 through 4 on television?’ That’s when I just walked away from her, the altar and the whole ceremony.”

“Maybe we better lay off the mescaline. I’m beginning to think this movie has a chance of being good.”

“I just got a text message from a buddy six blocks up. Apparently this is the line to buy a Prius.”