Lines
Edited from Classic “Peanuts”
Comic Strips
Francesco
Marciuliano
“The
famous World War I flying ace once again succumbs to morphine addiction.”
“O, Great
Pumpkin, I have brought you a bride.”
“We don’t talk about what happened to Shermy, you hear
me?! No one talks about what happened to Shermy! This is how we
keep the peace!”
“How the hell can we lose 46 baseball games in a row?!? We’re
all on steroids!”
“Are you sure you can legally write a scrip for Klonopin,
Lucy?”
“I know it’s tough, Sally. I do. But all us Browns go
bald by age six.”
“Wait a minute. This birth certificate reads ‘Peppermint
Patrick.’”
“Poor Miss Othmar. Strangled to death with a security blanket.
And not a single fingerprint to lead us to the culprit.”
“I want you to meet Woodstock’s brother—Altamont.”
“Don’t you think it’s high time someone alerted
child services about Pig-Pen?”
“Franklin gets all the ladies.”
“Who is this John Tesh and why does Schroeder keep playing
his music?”
“All we recovered from the kite-eating tree was some twine
and one of the little red-haired girl’s shoes.”
“Dear Pencil-Pal—Why were you imprisoned in the first
place?”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I’ve decided to take the
role of Honey in ‘Doonesbury’ instead.”
“Bravo, Charlie Brown. Lucy finally doesn’t pull the
football away and you go and accidentally kick out all her teeth.”
“Rats. Everybody got an Administrative Assistant’s Day
card except me.”
“AUGH! Bear trap!”
“Charlie Brown’s the director?! This is going to be
the worst Purim Pageant ever!”
“Come to think of it, I haven’t see my mom or dad since
birth, either.”
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