Teenagers' Requests to the "Make-A-Wish Foundation"

• "Nail Jennifer Garner."
  
  
• "Have Arcade Fire play at my house and not invite that dickwad Todd from chemistry."
  
  
• "Get, like, totally fucked in Amsterdam and then wake up in my brand new Hummer."
  
  
• "Eliminate all Internet footage of me pretending to have a lightsaber duel with a golf ball retriever."
  
  
• "Have charisma rating of 20 mean something outside of the elf hamlet of Levindore."
  
  
• "Direct every lesbian-kiss on 'The O.C.'"
  
  
• "Be a size 2 by junior prom."
  
  
• "Finally be invited to a party for someone outside of my family."
  
  
• "Completely pimp out my '83 Pontiac Fiero."
  
  
• "Become super-famous by age 18 so I don't have to attend community college."
  
  
• "Be voted American Idol, then North American Idol, then World Idol, then put on a concert for tsunami relief."  
  
  
• "Never, ever let my parents find out what I meant when I wrote about 'teabagging' in my blog."
  
  
• "Help Maxim cover girls get into their leather outfits."
  
  
• "Get name-checked on 'Gilmore Girls.'"
  
  
• "Be known as the best damn gangsta rapper straight outta Scarsdale."
  
  
• "Never have to get undressed in the gym locker room."
  
  
• "Live in a mad crib with hallway beer bongs, bathroom kegs, bedroom taps and a ping pong table...for beer pong."   
  
  
• "Get away in real life with every thing I do in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas"
  
  
• "Just give me one day where my experiences don't result in another six pages of gut-wrenching poetry."