Where's
Sharon Stone Today?
Francesco
Marciuliano
(Don't
mind Sharon. She just likes to be seen. But she's also
very considerate, so if you click her she'll go away.)
Sneak
Peek at the Omnipresent Celebrity's
Upcoming Social Calendar:
February
27
Walk down Academy Awards red carpet wearing outfit that screams
"Look at me!" thanks to several tiny speakers sewn into
lining.
March
3
Wave from behind a tree during filming of MTV's "The Real World,"
CBS's "The Amazing Race" and CNN's "Live from Baghdad."
March
8
Commence 24/7 live webcam broadcast of self, courtesy of personal
satellite hovering four feet above head.
March
14
Speed up and down Santa Monica Boulevard until you attract attention
of both police and newscopters.
March
23
Interrupt heavily televised press conference to remind president
of homeless peoples' need for "more hugs and moist towelettes."
April
4
Make a scene at Payless, always showing good side to security cameras.
April
7
Stand outside Today Show window, swallowing fire.
April
11
Achieve national attention by starting new dance craze, "The
Sharon," while loitering outside news trucks at Michael Jackson
trial.
April
19
Appear in as many unsuspecting tourists' photos as possible by zipping
around L.A. on Segway.
April
26
Fly to latest media-covered disaster region, bringing gift bags
of Mogg jeans and Phyto haircare products for all victims.
May
2
Sing national anthem at Dodgers Stadium by simply running onto the
field when music starts.
May
5
Stride naked into World Trade Organization conference. Opine on
debt relief and "Basic Instinct 2" rumors for international
media.
May
13
Climb into lion pit at San Diego Zoo. Cry for help but accept none
until you make evening news.
May
17
Get noticed at "Make a Wish Foundation" event by strapping
explosives to waist and surrounding self with adorable children.
May 20
Hang around salad bar at nearby Shoneys, autograph pen in hand.
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