Yea verily, for I am truly the God of Thunder, I shall summon the power of mine Uru hammer and…

You know what? Fuck it. I just don’t have it in me to do the whole “mock-Shakespearian-overblown-dialogue thing“ anymore. Too many years have passed. Too many years.

(READ ON, MORTALS!)

Here’s the breakdown of what the pie charts posted today will be about. You’re welcome.

Check out our tags. We really went all out this time.

The Weather Channel has finally gotten into the nostalgia game, following in the old timey footsteps of channels like ESPN CLASSIC and TV LAND. Here’s an image we stole from their first broadcast of the terrifying landfall of Hurricane Boggs in 1976. At final count, 60 thousand perished and 2 million lost their homes. What a great year! Good times…good…times…

CLICK ON THE IMAGE FOR A LARGER VERSION.

An excerpt from “Frodo and Hitchcock in The Case of the Missing Ring”

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“Where ever could it be?” fretted Frodo Baggins as he rummaged through an old chest. He was about to begin the long trek to Mordor whereupon he would toss the One Ring into the fires of Mount Doom, whence it was made, but with no ring to destroy, there could be no safety from Sauron and his minions. His gaze turned to a fruit bowl, inside of which was balanced a lemon on top of a thick apple. The shaded edge of these two fruits seemed to hint at the outline of the head and shoulders of a fat film director, stirring some memory of a long forgotten acquaintance. Suddenly…

“I know! I shall call upon my friend, the master of suspense, Alfred Hitchcock. If anyone can resolve a mystery, tis he.” (MORE)…

As usual, Tax Day is fast approaching and you know what that means: Tax Day is on its way! If you’re like billions of Americans, you’ve waited til the last-ish minute to file and now you’re a bundle of nerves because you’re afraid you’ll owe so much to Uncle Sam that you won’t be able to tell anyone when he touches your bathing-suit area.

But did you know there are many obscure deductions you can claim to help reduce your tax burden? It’s true!* Here are a some that might lower the amount you have to shell out to pay the government to infringe on your rights.

(MORE AFTER THE JUMP!)

Action figure Therapy is back!

Although…to be fair, it never really went away, we just got lazy about posting them here.
Whatever. Let’s not bicker about who isn’t posting what on whose site. It’s funny, you like funny, so perfect. Let’s just accept the things we can not change and ask god for the courage to–oh fuck. That’s the AA mantra, isn’t it? What does this mean? Are we alcoholics or healers of alcoholics??? We’ll be back for more posts after some deep soul searching…and egg sandwiches.

(click image for larger size)
In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming, but you don’t have to wait to order a fantastic package vacation today! Bring a submersible!