HOLLYWOOD – Tea Party activists. Progressives. Libertarians. Socialists. Republicans and Democrats, liberals and conservatives. Even the anarchists. Americans of every political stripe and ideology put aside their deep-seated differences last night, finally finding one issue they could all agree on: how mightily the 2011 Oscars broadcast sucked.
All across this great land, unifying cries of “Worst broadcast ever!” “Who the hell wrote this?” “Was Franco high? He was high, right?” “It’s enough now with all the gowns!” and “Is it me, or do they have zero chemistry together?” could be heard from indie coffee houses in Brooklyn to open-plan kitchen/family rooms in Arizona… and everywhere in between. Even President Obama and his Republican opponents were seen trading several “You see that trainwreck?” looks this morning.
Experts predict this miraculous sense of national unity will fade steadily over the course of the week, as morning shows and the E! network ruin everyone’s good vibes with endless, shrill rehashes of the telecast and its accompanying fashion moments.
UPDATE: Here is the story: I am a 35 year old comedian/actor/writer (in December) and had NOT been asked to go on National Television to perform my stand up about a year and a half ago. Which is crazy, right? Let’s fix that. Write to Jerry Seinfeld today and demand he give me a job doing stand up. So I can get married. To the woman behind me in this video. If he does and it pays ok, I promise to hire Anna Graceman’s little sister to open for me in New York or on the road.
Do we really need another cop-based spin off of a cop-based show? Wouldn’t it be better to have the original show spin off into a totally unrelated world or to bring unrelated characters into the Criminal Minds universe? I say yes. And I say that show should be TWO AND A HALF MEN.
Also I punch tea leaves in this episode of NPK. So there’s that.
