Jesse James and Kat Von D are engaged. That’s boring because, well, it’s not interesting, but also because it just already happened, so everyone has reported on it. Big deal! We here at Drink At Work are only concerned with news stories that WILL happen. So, thanks to some secret technology that is definitely NOT from aliens (which don’t even exist!) we bring you the first photo of Lugwrench Von D-James, adorable futurebaby and first child of the soon-to-be-recently-divorced tattooed twosome!

Congratulations will eventually be in order, as will condolences on the implosion of their 5-month marriage.