I work at home. Which means I procrastinate. Case in point: I started writing this piece last Friday. Anyway, being no stranger to the world of perpetual procastination, I thought I’d share a few tell tale signs you’re on the road to not getting anything done until tomorrow.

1. Your TV is set up in the bedroom.

Why get up, especially if you write on a laptop? Having your TV at the end of your bed is a red flag of putting the world on hold, for sure. Before you know it, you’ll start answering questions like, “What are you up to?” with, “Making my own soup.”

Keep the TV in the living room and save the bed sores for the inevitable dementia of your twilight years.

2. You have a Facebook account and consider yourself “writing” when on Twitter.

Now you can document your intentions to put things off until tomorrow right on the Internet, for all your “friends” and “followers” to see. Of course, the irony lies in the amount of work we all put into the quips about our laziness – Also someone found the motivation to make a movie about Facebook, when in fact, had they spent any real time on Facebook, would’ve never finished the script.

Shut off the computer and touch someone with your hands. In real life, girls are soft and men lie. We all can’t be perfect, but at least we’re realer than our avatars.

3. Halal Cart

Why “make” things to eat when there’s a man selling the tastiest street meat on the planet right outside your apartment door? Hell, in Harlem, I don’t even have to wear pants to the cart. I actually get a discount if I’m in my pajamas.

Do yourself a favor and learn how to cook. Or buy extra toilet paper. Your choice.

4. Delivery of Everything

We live in NYC, the greatest city in the world – Also the greatest city for delivery of ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF. Groceries, medications, propane, pets, beer, liquor, dry ice and yes, even women. There’s a reason the Collier Brothers lived and died here. Why leave your apartment? Ever?? And with the afore-mentioned Facebook and Twitter, social interaction is not even an excuse anymore.

Put on some pants, get out and buy some groceries at a grocery store. Drink a beer at a bar and have sex with a girl at her apartment.

I have more for this list, but I have to… Do something. I’ll get back to it later. I promise.