Apparently, you start by being an alien, having a lobotomy and then shooting yourself in the head. Jesus…who was this made for? I bet her annual Christmas letter goes something like this:

Dear Friends and Family:
This was an amazing year for me. I finally took the leap, and starting making How To videos for people who might come out of a coma sometime soon. It’s going great. I’m still lonely and thinking of killing myself, just as soon as I finish re-reading those Encyclopedia’s my mom gave me before she disappeared. I still keep them on my shelf right behind me when I shoot my videos. That way, I’ll always remember what I lost.
Best wishes to you and yours for a glorious New Year!
P.S. Ten years and my favorite pair of glasses are still going strong! Woot!!

One Response to “How to Write a Family Christmas Letter”

1. Cashel Byron says:

   December 16, 2010 at 11:42 am

   Ouch. You’re savagely funny, CH, and I look forward to your weekly posts…. This woman is clearly addressing kids, though, and with all the powerful jerks and buffoons ruining the world seems far down the list of those in need of a neck bite.