Gentry bounced off the bathroom door like a pinball and executed a perfect face plant into the nearest stall. “Gentry, you’re drunk again! Come back out here and bring me and Momma home!”, Lindsey yelled through the men’s room door. “Don’t make come in there and flush yer twig and berries!” Gentry looked up from his recycled lunch receptacle and managed a slurry retort. “Ain’t no twig! Issa goddamned Redwood!” After a solid 20 minutes of semi-solid vomit, Gentry picked himself up off the floor and stumbled to the sink. His reflection in the mirror triggered an involuntary arch of his back and forward thrust of his wide chest. He winked at the wobbling man in the mirror, ran a broken comb through his hair and pretended to wash his hands.

As he exited the bathroom, Gentry found Lindsey flat on her back in the corner booth. The bartender handed him a fresh beer as he made his way past the faded photos of ex-presidents and Hulk Hogan. “Where’s yer Ma?” Gentry snapped. “Zombies got her.” Lindsey answered, without moving. Gentry crashed his wide load into the seat across from her and sucked down half of his beer in one gluttonous gulp. “That’s a shame”, he mumbled. Lindsey propped herself up onto the dirty table and focused her eyes on the wall behind Gentry. “Eee-yuh”, she said, totally immersed in the poster on the opposite wall. “Gentry, look at this!” She bolted from her seat, grabbing Gentry’s fat arm as she passed. “This is our ticket outta here. This is our fucking ship!” Gentry took the poster from Lindsey and fixed his eyes on it for much longer than necessary. “Who in the wide world is Justin Bieber?”, he finally asked. Lindsey yanked back the poster and went to the window. She lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Her eyes narrowed to slits and she cracked a half smile as the smoke exited her nose. Gentry became annoyed, “Lindsey? Who the HELL is Just…” She waved her cigarette at him like a retarded women shooing a flock of rabid birds. “Go get the rope and duct tape we been saving. We just found ourselves another ringer.”

Gentry stood up from the booth and immediately fell face first onto the floor. Lindsey, without turning around, rolled her eyes and sighed through her last drag. Then she walked out of the Pepper Club, leaving Gentry to his redneck nap.