On behalf of the millions of Americans who reside in our great cities, or the “not real” America, I would like to thank you for finally bringing us to the brink of an Idiocracy. Your love affair with fried foods, box stores, misplaced patriotism and “not learning hard stuff” have really paid off in your favor. Not only has your continued support of reality TV and the Tea Party made stars of a walking misdemeanor and a hypocritical dancing teen mother, it has propelled them into American role models for teen abstinence.
Exhibit A:
Congratulations, you didn’t even have to leave your lazy boy.
Our friend James Manzi has created a piece of work that captures the haunting truth of what it feels like to run a free comedy show in New York City. If this doesn’t make you want to attend Lasers in the Jungle every single Thursday at 9pm at Luca Lounge (222 Avenue B), then frankly, I don’t know what will…
(Also, this was shot at my birthday show. A special thanks to Katina Corrao, Matt McCarthy & Paul Mecurio for performing that night and, as a result, allowing themselves to be immortalized as an honorary Laser FOREVER.)
The fat lady buys an enormous bag of circus peanuts and grabs the hand of her even fatter daughter. The child shrieks and the fat lady calls her a “retard”, while dragging her from the store in a fit of frustrated life. Before anyone can process what just happened, Mike the Drunk grabs a handful of mints and slaps 100 pennies and two subway tokens onto the counter. “Salt and Peppers, Mutha fuckah” he slurs, then slips out the door and into traffic. A cab honks and hits him. No one cares while three guys steal his shoes, wallet and mints.
Thanks iStock for your fascinating take on “street thug.” The only thing thuggy about this picture however is the dog, but even he looks friendly. Just an idea for your next “thug” shoot: maybe lose the elven cloak and the magic staff – oh and also don’t use a 15 year old suburban white kid as your subject. Unless you’re trying to challenge the average internet user’s perception of thugs. Very noble of you if so. Very noble. Yet, still, misleading.
If I had typed in “Suburban Warlock,” “The Mage of Urban Outfitters,” or “Remember That Kid From High School Who Always Used To Skip Class Just To Go Hang Out By The River Alone? Yeah, Well This Is His Profile Picture On Facebook” ….this would have been the perfect image.
