My entry in the Doritos: Crash The Superbowl competition, without having to deal with their very websitey website.

Remember the 80′s and all those terrible movies about frat boys? Great. Now there’s a show that captures their formulaic essence in one there’s-no-way-this-will-make-it-past-8-episodes season. Hint: I be the NERDS and JOCKS in this show don’t like each other very much!! HAR HAR! Will not that be so much fun to enjoy yes times are good!

END HATE.

“Butts like that are fine thing.”, Mitch mumbled. I was so tired that I couldn’t tell if he meant the girls in front of us, or the cigarettes on the ground. I wish I could sleep. I wish I could lose some weight and I wish Mitch hadn’t hired me to work in his laudromat. All I do all day is restock the detergent and listen to people bitch that $2 is too much for a load of whites. I smell like soap and failure.

[More after the jump]

In a stunning upset for rational discourse and any hope for a return to the progressive work that made this nation great (see: Abolition, Civil Rights, Economic Equality, Rivers That Don’t Catch Fire, etc.), That Insane Woman from the last election has announced that she will indeed make a run to embarrass our nation “more permanently and more bigger.”

“In the last election, I barely had enough time to present to the world my own personal brand of intellectual laziness, bigotry, and incompetence that I believe will ruin our good name once and for all among the other nations of the world, which I can only name three of anyway so who needs the rest. This time, I will not let my handlers make that same mistake.” offered That Insane Woman.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

You can’t shut a good woman up, no matter how much it’s your God-given right to as a man. That’s right, America’s favorite unwired-shut jaw is back in the news and not a Hitler reference too soon. But that’s not all. We dug a little deeper and found a treasure trove of new quotes and quips, courtesy of our good friends at Newser. Read, learn, and be empowered…unless you’re a woman, black, gay, hispanic, handicapped, five pounds overweight, sterile, a scientist, foreign, any kind of immigrant, or from Hollywood and not Mel Gibson…if you are any of those things, you’re simply too doped up on your own ideology to get Ann.

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