Google has a new driverless car that’s been road tested for over 140,000 miles with no accidents at all. We got a chance to see it in action, and it is a truly amazing vehicle. Voice activated, all you have to do is tell it what you want. If you want to go to your best friend’s house, you say their name and the car drives you there. If you want pizza, you say GET PIZZA and the car will drive you to the nearest pizza parlour. And if you want anything maintenance related for the car, for instance to top off any vital fluids, you can just say GET OIL and Google’s driverless car will start an illegal, unilateral war against Iraq to secure its precious fossil fuels for just you!
Here, take a look at the car in action, presenting a new case for still-hidden WMD’s to the U.N. This car is truly a miracle.
While vials filled with stand-in anthrax may still not do the trick, maybe the car’s smooth faux leather upholstery and mp3 accessible stereo will finally win over our major European allies.
When Halloween is near, there’s always the usual crop of stories that masquerade (ha!) as “original content” on various websites and such. “Best Costumes Made From Stuff Around The House,” “Spooky Organic Treats For A Healthyween,” “Why Dressing Your Baby As A Peapod Actually Invokes The Devil” and so on. (MORE)
Communist zombie bears are raiding graves in Russia and don’t think they won’t strike here as well.
Oh, I’m sorry, did I just command your attention? Well it’s about time because I’ve been screaming about this for years.
First it was, Oh, those adorable polar bears love to drink Coca-Cola when it’s cold outside. I always just wanted Coke in the summer when it’s refreshing but now I want it year-around because of the polar bears.
Then it was, Oh, those poor pandas can’t reproduce quickly enough to save their species because they like eating more than they like having sex. Let’s artificially inseminate them and give them Kama Sutras for Christmas. (Like they even have Christmas in Australia or China or wherever those bamboo-huffers live.)
LOGLINE: A secret military experiment on a bus has gone terribly wrong and now the earth has been decimated by attacks from a self aware, offensively equipped Class F vehicle, the Thunder Bus, but fortunately one of the survivors is a former speed bump manufacturer who uses his know how and grit to take on the nefarious truck-grade machine but you better hold on cause it’s gonna be a bumpy oh my god please please let me die please.
There is probably no show less likely to have me as a viewer than this one. HOWEVER…if they follow the advice I give at the end of the vid for how to wrap things up this season, I might start DVR’ing it. Might. Hear that, Real Housewives franchise? Yeah you did.
