Back in the Middle Ages, people’s last names used to reflect what they did for a job. If you were a cobbler, you were probably named John Cobbler. If you were a smithy, your name might be John Smith. Given that, it must have been an exceedingly simple task to find criminals.

CONSTABLE: “All right everyone, line up. You, what’s your name?”

MAN: “John Murdersalot.”

CONSTABLE: “Right, you’re under arrest.”

MAN: “But I didn’t do anything. Just ask my wife Abigail Satanslover!”

CONSTABLE: “Will do.”