10 uses for Christmas Lights

1. Gift wrap around the lame picture frame you brought to the office party.
2. Hide them under the sheets and while seducing your spouse, plug them in and claim it's the "glow of electric sex."
3. A pretty, pretty noose.
4. Sprucing up the homeless.
5. An emergency flashlight substitute... "Quick! Everyone wrap yourselves in these and follow me through the flood!"
6. Christmas.
7. Substitute for lighters at the last-ever Aerosmith concert (Caution: topical joke)
8. Forcefully illuminating Glenn Beck's colon.
9. Xmas rave!
10. Find an empty field, get a hundred thousand lights and enjoy a fun evening of redirecting airline traffic.

Fake Rockstar is back, BITCHES.

-FRS