Last week we talked about how since cats are immortal you can use them as tiny pack animals over and over again, never feeding them, which saves on money and helps save Our Mother.

This week we return to the discussion of Solar Energy, and where it comes from. Well, though you wouldn’t know it, the sun is pretty bright, and because it’s so bright the only place safe enough for it is in Space, which is above America. While the distance from America to Space can be quite a walk, light travels a lot faster than us (at least on foot, har har!). It can go over 300 miles and hour. And that’s without a car. LMFAO!

Nevertheless, there are several ways to harness the amazing power of this fundamental “dark matter” as solar energy is sometimes called. One of these ways is through a machine called the car battery.

It’s easy. Attach the sun to a solar panel, then wire that panel to a car battery, clamp the jumper cables onto your eyeballs, then you’re done! Your body will have all the energy it will ever need and you’ll never have to eat any of that pesky food again.

See you next week, my little “Umberto Eco”s!