I Am Drugs: Heroin, featuring the hilarious Diane O’Debra, never fails to attract the most insane comments. But until now, not a single one of them had threatened to do anything horrible to our hypothetical children. Thank you, Johnnybutt1313. really wtf is this WHAT THE FUCK IS THISHAVE U EVER SEEN A HEROIN USER U [...]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg74FmmMU1o] Totally need this to be my Halloween costume this year.

A few of you may be aware that recently I booked a lead role in the new TRON sequel. Originally, the movie centered around the exploits of my computer world character TRON CRESPO. And yes, it IS just a weird coincidence that the writers chose my real last name for the character’s last name. There [...]

CHILD COMPOSTING When you are done with your children, don’t just throw them away. Recycle them. And the best way to recycle anything organic is by adding it to a compost bin or heap. You can take pride in the knowledge that your child is finally doing something right and giving back.

This week, Ned locks himself in the closet to avoid the smoke and ash of the week-long Station Fire rampaging through the Angeles National Forest. We weren’t doing anything with those 100,000 acres anyway. Fun fact: Did you know L.A. has a “fire season”? It does! And yet not a single Dunkin’ Donuts. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-GuDD5AMiY]

Eastwick? That means there must be a Westwick. Uh oh, I smell a bad ass gangsta rap style rivalry brewing! Or if not that it’s the smell of me doing a really shitty, embarassing witch/warlock themed rap battle on my own!

What a time to be alive.