“Merengue star Crespo accused of sex act on plane”

I know about it already. Thank you to all 5 bazillion* of you who have sent it to me on mass email lists, allowing me the rare opportunity to witness the wit and pith of your closest 50 friends at work who enjoy the “REPLY ALL” button with an abandonment more characteristic of the subject of the article you forwarded me.

Simply because I have the same name and plane-riding practices, does not mean I need to read about it three hundred gabillion** times. Thank you all for your attention.

And no, he does not join the Mile High Club.

* To clarify, this number is simply a 1 followed by a gajillion zeroes
** Metric