Well last week was my big 50th Vlogiversary with TVWOP, but this week is #51 and, sadly, no one really celebrates the 51st of anything. What is the 51st Anniversary gift you’re supposed to give? If I remember correctly, on the 50th Anniversary, the gift you’re supposed to give is Gold. 75 is Diamonds. Or maybe it’s Platinum. Or Moons. Maybe you give the Moon if you make it to 75 years together. It’s as likely a gift as the chances of making it that long together.

NOTE: Polygamous marriages don’t count because (if you’re in one) you’re not trapped with just the one person, doomed to a lifetime of hearing the same stories, smelling the same stinks, and rutting out the same positions day/month/year after endless day/month/year. You’re trapped with several. Not a huge difference necessarily but it spreads the misery around. Socialized Misery, if you will. Further, proportionately speaking, a polygamous group marriage would have to make it 200 years together for it to be the same as 75 years together as a couple. Oh and all but one of them would have to lose the use of their genitals, leaving the burden of coitus entirely on the frail, bird like shoulders of one active 200 year old member by the end…that is if we really want to be accurate with equivalencies here.

The point is it’s a long time AND a nice round number so we celebrate with precious metals or gems, the way our numerology-beholden culture demands. But what would 51st Anniversary be anyway? Is that the Diamond Plus A Healthy Shake With Dinner Anniversary? No. It’s probably the Our Relationship Is Held Together Soley By The Glue Of Hate So I’m Giving You The Gift Of Scowling At You A Little Less Today Anniversary.

Nevertheless, I can’t think of anything I’d want more on my 51st than to watch a video comedically dissecting Joss Whedon’s new sci-fi drama “DOLLHOUSE.” If only we had one here. Hmmm…

Oh look! I seem to have one with me! Lady Fortune has smiled on us once again, my friends.

Don’t forget to smile back and vote me some fun time FIVE STAR action-ness.

http://wgtclsp.nbcuni.com/o/483dce16aa491e3d/4993298c922964ed/483dce16aa491e3d/3372d8fd/-cpid/5e7941df1b9ffebe