Edit me, rewrite me with all your cares...

Oh, brother, do I not know how to write for women.

I've been writing this weekly column for the dear, sweet folks at Lemondrop and it's going well. I've been settling into the tone and I've learned what I should and should not write, which is putting less and less burden on my over-taxed editors.

However, I was just reminded that my tone can, on occasion, be way, way off. One of my first assignments for the site was to write and edit a photo gallery on the weirdest bras out there on the Net. I came up with a pretty good collection of 14 aggravatingly bizarre designs and I wrote a scathing, high-minded intro that indicted the bra industry as a whole. I thought this was quite funny in it's pointless indignation.

Since I wrote the piece a few months ago, I had kind of forgotten about it until today when it finally went live. I'm proud to say that the piece is well-written and it's already getting comments. Unfortunately, I didn't write a word of it. Nevertheless, the byline is still mine...I feel sort of dirty.

Anyway, here's my original intro to the post, which was once called "Dumbest Bras Anyone Ever Thought Of, Ever."

Much like a torturer on whom we have come to depend, the bra is an entity that can make or break us. So thorough has it been in its evil work, so convincing in its dogma, that its primary victims, women, have implemented it as a indispensible fixture in their daily lives. The right bra instills confidence and grace; the wrong bra brings tension, anxiety, chafing. We each have our favorite: This bra is so wonderfully constructed it feels as though I am wearing no bra at all, we might be heard to say. How devilishly clever! The right bra makes a woman feel "free," nevermind that she was free only before she strapped her boobs into it's Cartesian embrace.

These bras represent the worst of the worst. They are the hate crimes of the garment industry. Bras so shockingly comfortable in their status as necessary objects, that their audacious incivility knows no bounds. Women of the world, take notice! The bra may be no friend of man, but it also is no friend to you. The enemy of your enemy IS your enemy. Look to it!

You can check out the final post on Lemondrop here.