POOR OPENING LINES WITH WHICH TO MAKE FIRST CONTACT
* "Hey, you guys just flew in from M82, right? By any chance, your arms wouldn't happen to be tired would they?"
* "Wife swap!"
* “Death beam? Is that like a laser show?”
* "You think you're better than me?"
* "We have some literature we'd like you to read."
* "Welcome to earth, we're easily divided against one another, but enough about us..."
* "Can you come back at 8:30? ‘The Simpsons’ are on now."
* "I smell a sentient life form who wants a noogy!"
* Pretend to yawn and place arm around alien shoulder equivalent. Make out.
* “You’ve got a pretty vocal orifice.” Cocks shotgun.
* “Look at the size of your heads! Jesus H, guys. Hey everyone, come look at the space freaks!”
* “You better have brought us something cool or this first contact is over.”
* “Osama, advanced alien life forms. Advanced alien life forms, Osama.”
* “You call that a graviton-based emissions propulsion subsystem?”
* “Pay up guys. I was right. These new aliens are way uglier than anyone could imagine.”
* “Sorry new aliens, the Miturians found us first. Guess it’s sloppy seconds for your people, huh?”
* “Whoa whoa whoa. Where you think you’re going? I’m gonna need to see an ID before I let you land on earth. Plus it’s a $20 cover and you’re gonna need a stamp if you’re planning on drinking.”
* “Those beaks of yours look awfully Jewish…what’d you say your last name was again?”
* “Run! These ones can open doors and water isn’t acid to them!”
* “OK, in episode 23 when Kirk…”
* “So it’s you, the Alien, and the Predator trapped in an arctic pyramid. Who wins?”
* “Welcome to earth. Now pick a political affiliation. We have two.”
* “So...how much experience do your people have with global decimation? Oh, no reason. Just curious I guess.”
* “You’ve got a little something right there. Let me get that for you. (Later, after earth has been destroyed...) What do you mean that was his brain sac?”
* (whispered) “They’re so small. Do you think I could keep one as a pet?”
* “Yes, officer, I’m sure. That’s the one who mugged me, the big black one…with 14 eyes and wheels for hands.”
* “Will you please take our old people and do something with them—I don’t care, make them young again, feast on their spirit energies, anything, just please, we’ve had enough.”
* “Nice ship. How many cams?”
* "Wife swap!"
* “Death beam? Is that like a laser show?”
* "You think you're better than me?"
* "We have some literature we'd like you to read."
* "Welcome to earth, we're easily divided against one another, but enough about us..."
* "Can you come back at 8:30? ‘The Simpsons’ are on now."
* "I smell a sentient life form who wants a noogy!"
* Pretend to yawn and place arm around alien shoulder equivalent. Make out.
* “You’ve got a pretty vocal orifice.” Cocks shotgun.
* “Look at the size of your heads! Jesus H, guys. Hey everyone, come look at the space freaks!”
* “You better have brought us something cool or this first contact is over.”
* “Osama, advanced alien life forms. Advanced alien life forms, Osama.”
* “You call that a graviton-based emissions propulsion subsystem?”
* “Pay up guys. I was right. These new aliens are way uglier than anyone could imagine.”
* “Sorry new aliens, the Miturians found us first. Guess it’s sloppy seconds for your people, huh?”
* “Whoa whoa whoa. Where you think you’re going? I’m gonna need to see an ID before I let you land on earth. Plus it’s a $20 cover and you’re gonna need a stamp if you’re planning on drinking.”
* “Those beaks of yours look awfully Jewish…what’d you say your last name was again?”
* “Run! These ones can open doors and water isn’t acid to them!”
* “OK, in episode 23 when Kirk…”
* “So it’s you, the Alien, and the Predator trapped in an arctic pyramid. Who wins?”
* “Welcome to earth. Now pick a political affiliation. We have two.”
* “So...how much experience do your people have with global decimation? Oh, no reason. Just curious I guess.”
* “You’ve got a little something right there. Let me get that for you. (Later, after earth has been destroyed...) What do you mean that was his brain sac?”
* (whispered) “They’re so small. Do you think I could keep one as a pet?”
* “Yes, officer, I’m sure. That’s the one who mugged me, the big black one…with 14 eyes and wheels for hands.”
* “Will you please take our old people and do something with them—I don’t care, make them young again, feast on their spirit energies, anything, just please, we’ve had enough.”
* “Nice ship. How many cams?”
posted by The Crespo at 12:23 PM
subscribe to the drink at work newsletter
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home