Great/Awful Moments on the Dan VS America Tour, #93
Here are some tips, America, in case you decide to book a comedy show.
1. Find out who the comics on the show are. If one of them is a smart-ass liberal political and social commentary comic who tells ironic personal horror stories, and the other is a smart-ass, fast-talking sort of populist social commentary comic who tells ironic personal horror stories as well...then maybe having a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a 14 year old in the audience is a bad idea.
2. If you are the booker of the show and are sitting in the audience, it's probably a bad idea to have a loud, shitty pop song as your ring tone and to leave your ringer on for the entirety of the show. It is further also poor judgment to leave the ringer volume on high. Lastly, it is yet worse then to answer the phone and have not one, not two, but SEVEN conversations while still seated among the audience with a further four conversations that required so much attention and focus, you could not permit yourself to be distracted by the verbal baubles the comedian on stage at the time is then presenting and noisily excused yourself to walk outside.
3. Two long cafeteria style tables placed directly in front of the huge but only doorway, which allows every sound passing in the 12 parsec area (but few people) to enter, set within a brightly lit rec room with no stage but plenty of workstation computers, with several loud bags of Doritos and soda cans you are loudly encouraging others to loudly enjoy, with lots of antique clock faces and other paraphernalia that makes the room appear like an anachronistic Bennigan's, with an audience comprised of employees you've wrangled at the last minute because you forgot to promote or flier for the show which is at 6 pm with day light still streaming in...IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE PERFORMING SITUATION.
That, in short, is a relatively simple primer for how NOT TO RUN a comedy show.
Thank you, America. Thank you. And thank you, last show we just did.
Love,
Sean
1. Find out who the comics on the show are. If one of them is a smart-ass liberal political and social commentary comic who tells ironic personal horror stories, and the other is a smart-ass, fast-talking sort of populist social commentary comic who tells ironic personal horror stories as well...then maybe having a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a 14 year old in the audience is a bad idea.
2. If you are the booker of the show and are sitting in the audience, it's probably a bad idea to have a loud, shitty pop song as your ring tone and to leave your ringer on for the entirety of the show. It is further also poor judgment to leave the ringer volume on high. Lastly, it is yet worse then to answer the phone and have not one, not two, but SEVEN conversations while still seated among the audience with a further four conversations that required so much attention and focus, you could not permit yourself to be distracted by the verbal baubles the comedian on stage at the time is then presenting and noisily excused yourself to walk outside.
3. Two long cafeteria style tables placed directly in front of the huge but only doorway, which allows every sound passing in the 12 parsec area (but few people) to enter, set within a brightly lit rec room with no stage but plenty of workstation computers, with several loud bags of Doritos and soda cans you are loudly encouraging others to loudly enjoy, with lots of antique clock faces and other paraphernalia that makes the room appear like an anachronistic Bennigan's, with an audience comprised of employees you've wrangled at the last minute because you forgot to promote or flier for the show which is at 6 pm with day light still streaming in...IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE PERFORMING SITUATION.
That, in short, is a relatively simple primer for how NOT TO RUN a comedy show.
Thank you, America. Thank you. And thank you, last show we just did.
Love,
Sean
posted by The Crespo at 7:15 PM
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