Li'l Spencer delayed

Corey's a bit under the weather, so Li'l Spencer will up a bit later than intended. Thanks for your patience.

Cheers,

R_star

Dan On The Street: Fairfax Flea Maket Pipes & Paintings

In this episode I talk to two guys who were looking for high art and fast times at the local West Hollywood flea market.

They didn't find either.

As always, please vote 5-stars and leave a comment on the Dotcomedy page for this video if you liked it.

I just drove back from Las Vegas so I'm going to go fall into a coma now.

Thanks for watching.

I Got Gay Cruised At A Mall

Yes, this really happened.

No, I haven't exaggerated any of the details of the story at all.

Hooray for Los Angeles! You win!

Those Crazy Kids at MIT

The students at MIT know a good prank.


Well, a good Halo 3 themed prank that involves decorating a statue.

Special Super Awesome Deal for a Great Show TONIGHT at Comix!

Dating It is tonight at Comix and we highly recommend you check it out. And if you're a little cash poor like us, we've got a GREAT offer for you. Just go to the host's stand (not the box office) and use the special, secret discount code password ESKIMO and you'll get in for FREE! Seriously. For real. For FREE. Plus, you may leave with a date. And if you can coerce that date into buying you drinks, too, then you come out a winner in every possible way.

Here are the details:

Comedian Colette Hawley hosts the funniest, most charming eligible bachelors and bachelorettes to the Comix stage to win a date with you!

This hilariously riveting speed dating event includes stand up comedians performing short sets before going on speed dates with audience volunteers. The matching "couples" then compete against each other in outrageous stunts you won't want to miss!

The winning couple receives the grand prize: a romantic dinner for two, while the runner ups and everyone in the audience try to catch their own prize at the funniest singles event in town.

Thursday, September 27th @ 8:00 PM
Comix
353 West 14th Street
New York, NY 10014

Price: $15 if you're a chump, FREE if you use the password ESKIMO

Dippy Little, Sh*tty Little Dogs

Weekly Dose of Spam

Here at Drink at Work our Inboxes are cluttered with tons and tons of other people's emails. We don't know why we receive them but it's sort of a blessing in disguise. We try to point the sender in the right direction with our advice so that they can work out whatever issue they may be having. Unfortunately due to time constraints we can't reply to all of these emails. Every week we'll bring you one of these correspondances in the hopes that you too could learn from our example and treat every misguided email that finds your inbox as your own.

=================================================================
From Thomas Moor: <tommoor6@hotmail.com>

Hello Ron,thanks for your reply,it seems you have not undersood what the transaction is all about,just get the details now.I am a senior accountant of oceanic bank Nigeria plc,I discovered this fund because of my position in the office,several cases of this nature have occured and the bank managers will just swoop the whole money to their personalacounts. The onwer of this fund was a foreigner who deposited the money with our bank without having any registered next of kin,he had an auto crash and died some yrs ago and up till this moment no one has come as the beneficiary.

The new president has ordered the banks to clear up every outstanding unclaimed estate before the end of next month.And I have access to the documents concerning the fund,all you have to do now is to send me your complete name,phone number,country of residence so that I will use incase of filling any form,My intention is to donate a greater % of the money to the less disadvantaged and to churches after giving you your own % (30%).Remember,a local cannot stand as the next of kin thats is the more reason why I had to contact you.

Call me now so that I can forward to you the bank contact address to enable you write an application demanding for the fund release as the next of kin. Mr Thomas Moor+234-803-099-8337

=================================================================

Dear Mr. Moor,

I'm terribly sorry but it seems that your email correspondence with Ron was disrupted as your last e-mail was sent to my address instead of his. That is a real shame that the "onwer" of the account was unable to share his wealth with anyone close to him but I applaud your efforts to take advantage of an open opportunity such as this.

It's also so generous, albeit out of character, that a bank president would be so anxious to just give away money to anyone with a name and phone number. I would love to meet him and let him know how much everyone must appreciate the great money-giving work he is doing over at his unnamed oceanic bank in Nigeria. I'm also glad there is not too much paperwork involved so that you and Ron will be able to inherit these funds as soon as possible and start on your church projects.

While your heart does seem to be in the right place Thomas, I must take issue with something you wrote that had me quite troubled. Why are you so adamant about donating to the "less disadvantaged" as you write? Aren't the regular disadvantaged people deserving enough? What type of process is involved in finding the less disadvantaged anyway? Do you find the most destitute, poverty-stricken people in the country and then give aid to people who are just slightly better off? While I am not an expert in national crisis policy, I would urge you Thomas, to start from the bottom up.

Best of luck,
The Drink at Work Team

Dudes In Bed: Master Self-Promoters

Ryan McKee and Ron Babcock are my good friends and hilarious standup comedians and writers.

However, they are probably about the worst entertainers I've ever met at talking themselves up.

But, at least they're big in Mauritius.

(As always I kindly beg and remind you to vote 5-stars and leave a comment on the Dotcomedy page for this video so The Man will get off of my back. Thanks.)

Photos from Last Week's Shoot the Messenger with Chuck D

Mindy took some great pictures of last week's show, including this one, my personal favorite:




Check out the rest here and come on down to Ace of Clubs tonight for another great show with special guest, author Angus Johnston.

Burly Sports with Nick Stevens

Click here or the screenshot above to watch our friend Nick Stevens as he recaps the week in sports.

Watch for Sean Crespo's appearance as the Bipolar Baseball Fan!

Dear Smart Shopper

NINKA HAS SEX WITH BEAR ON TOP OF UNICORN!

BEAR HAS SEX WITH UNICORN!

Dan On The Street: West Hollywood Garage Sale

Please click on the frame-grab image below to view episode:
This week I tackled Roxanne's World Famous Garage Sale.

Her garage sale takes place pretty much every weekend. It's located on Crescent Heights just south of Santa Monica Boulevard in case you in the Hollywood area and interested in checking it out.

If you like this video please remember to give it 5-stars on the Dotcomedy website and to leave a comment as well.

Thanks for watching. Have a fun weekend, everyone.

Comedy Igloo Sunday Night at 8

The Comedy Igloo kicks off the first day of Fall with its next show.

Sunday, September 23, 2007 at 8pm

UNDER St. Marks
94 St. Marks Place (between First Ave and Ave A)

Subway 6 to Astor Place, F/V to 2nd Ave, L to First Ave

(212) 722-1964

Admission: $10 USD/$10.58 CDN

It’s America’s only Canadian themed comedy show! Canadian comedian Kevin Janus hosts a lineup of the city’s hottest comics, including:

* Baron Vaughn (2006 HBO US Comedy Arts Festival; VH1’s “Best Week Ever”)
* Rachel Feinstein (Comedy Central’s “Premium Blend” and “Samurai Love God”)
* Sean Crespo (Drink at Work; National Lampoon; Cracked; Jest)
* Keith Farnan (BBC’s “One Night Stand”; Irish TV’s “Liffey Laughs”; Edinburgh Festival).

Teach the Controversy!

How To Win In Life & School

Even more YARRR...

Last Pirate post I swear...

We just thought those of you planning your evening of pirate speech may want some proper instruction...




Enjoy the night, Plunder responsibly.

More... YARRR... Pirate... YARRR... Day... Yarrrr... Stuff.

Barkeater Lake fan club memeber #7564345, Thomas Klingenberger just sent the best Pirate song I think I've heard. To all you Pittsburgh Pirate fans everywhere, Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day...

Wait until the very end. You'll howl like a sea captain scallywag.

Invasion of the Pittsburgh Pirates

YARRRR....

Update: In response to our posting this, Thomas writes:

"The artist is my son, Ed Klingenberger who wrote the thing and did all the
voices and instruments. He has a degree in Studio Composition from SUNY
Purchase.

I spoke with him, and he was delighted that I was going to send it, and
doubly delighted when he found out you posted it.

You made our day."

Yarr... You an' yer boy made OUR Pirate Day as well...

Single White Vampire

Yarr... It be only Rock and roll...

Today, September 19th, is National "Talk Like a Pirate Day". It's also my birthday, and according to the Ancient Comedy Gods Rules and Behaviors Handbook, whatever I say today goes.

So, in addition to talking like those endearing and cursed seamen, I say we all act like the indestructible Keith Richards for the day. Drink through that liquor cabinet! Smoke anything that roles tightly into a cocktail napkin! Snort your Dad's ashes! ...Uh...

You'll probably lose your job, wife and hunting license, but think of all the new photos you'll have to post on your Flickr page!

If you need a starting-off point, here's a beautiful little video of Keith thwarting the horrible evil that is a Rolling Stones fan:



He doesn't even miss a cord.

Now if you'll excuse me, thar be wenches ta plunder and goat's head soup to devour. Yargh.

BTW: I'll be at Gritty's in Portland, ME from 4pm on today. Anyone who wants to buy a real Fake Rockstar a beer is welcome. I'll be the one surrounded by fake friends.

Dan Bialek For Slingbox.com

Hey, I was bored today so I made a stupid short movie for the Slingbox.com video competition that's been slathered all across Myspace for the last few days.

Click on the frame grab above to check it out. But, please don't go through the trouble of registering or voting for it in the contest. I just made it for fun.

Sadly, get rich quick schemes on the Internet always work out poorly for me.

Bathroom Humor

This article on the Discovery website had this to say about a recent study on hand-washing in bathrooms:

"One-third of men didn't bother to wash after using the bathroom, compared with 12 percent of women, said the researchers, who spied on people in public restrooms. They reported their latest findings Monday at a meeting of infectious disease scientists."

Did the reporter even read what he just wrote? I don't really think the whole hand washing issue is our biggest problem. I can only assume that Larry Craig headed up the "research team."

Dudes In Bed: Bad Tattoos/Decisions

This week I talk with comedians Geoff Keith and Adam Hammer about tattoos and the bad decisions that lead to them.

If you like my videos please remember to rate them 5-stars and leave a comment on the Dotcomedy site.

Thanks.

Moonwork Returns with Great Line Up

Moonwork presents

An Evening of Original Works

Saturday, September 22nd at 9pm

Come join us for the first show of our 14th year

John Mulaney

Mark Douglas

Reggie Watts

Sean Crespo

Brazz Tree

andTom Shillue

The Phil Coltoff Center at Greenwich Village

Children's Aid Society

219 Sullivan Street

between Bleecker & West 3rd

$20

21 and over please. ID required.

http://www.moonwork.org/

www.myspace.com/moonworknyc

Congratulations Nick!

Shark Show founder gets gig on MNF

Comedian/actor/aspiring sportscaster Nick Stevens may not see his fictional character become the president of Red Sox Nation -- in fact, the team took his name off the list of nominees (apparently due to his frequent use of profanities). But his Paul "Fitzy" Fitzgerald is more than getting by. He just started working for ESPN's Monday Night Football, appearing in sketches from the tailgate parties.

"Yeah, it's a good gig," Stevens told me last night.
A cofounder of the weekly Saturday night Shark Show at Mo Pitkins, just got back from Cincinnati and will be on the road every week. He said he'd soon be posting the videos on his Townie News site.


Related: My earlier interview of Fitzy.

Source: NY Daily News' Sean L. McCarthy

Answers From the Street - Part 3

Dudes In Bed: World's Most Ripped Comic

This week I talk to Adam Hammer and Geoff Keith about working out.

Seriously, unless my girlfriend is cheating on me with our incredibly buff 62-year-old mailman this is the first time ever that there's been a shirtless man with visible abs sitting on her bed.

I'm Not Going To Cry And Wear Makeup But I Will Admit That BritneySpears Isn't Fat

Trashy and mostly untalented, yes.

But, fat, not so much.


(And, yes, my girlfriend is going to fucking kill me if she ever watches this vlog.)

Apple iPhone focus groups from 1910

Boing Boing has posted a link to a French art exhibit that depicts a group of early iPhone/iPod users:

(Early iTelegraph/iPhonograph focus group Circa 1910)

Some of the books the Headmaster is adding to the iTelegraph's Knowledge Pulp-o-Matic: The pop culture life manual, Sex, Opium and Cocoa Beans, iCon Tom Edison and Mark Twain is a Big Fat Idiot.

The relaxed, whistling-a-Sunday-Afternoon-Picnic-with-Mildred Anne MacIntyre-tune look of the "Knowledge Engineer" really brings home the ease of use found in future Apple products. Unfortunately, early models of the Knowledge Pulp-o-Matic were run with coal, causing many Knowledge Engineers an agonizing death from lung disease before the age of 16. Later, more efficient models would be modified to operate on grain alcohol and processed pet remains. In the left hand background, you can cleary see a young Thomas Walter Jobs, the great great great uncle of the iconic CEO, Steve Jobs.

See the full exhibit (in French) here: Future Art

Rove-tastic: Crespo on the CC Insider

Check it out: One of Sean Crespo's Vlogs was mentioned on the Comedy Central Insider Blog.

Watch Sean and Jon Stewart as they both take on Karl Rove!

Answers From the Street: Part 2

Dan seeks advice from an Irish boogieboarder and a smoking hot cosmetologist.

Have a question you want answered on the street? Send it to Dan at danbialekloveskittens@gmail.com

Welcome Li'l Spencer... Please... Don't hurt us...

Li'l Spencer's Adventures now has his own place at Drink at Work headquarters, and I think I speak for all us when I say this is a huge relief. The kid is a menace and a downright thief. In the past two months alone, he's managed to pilfer Crespo's entire Cabbage Patch Doll collection, raid my mini-fridge full of mini-kegs twice and reduce Carol to tears over this drawing:

(Matt, Dan and Neil were not present at the time of portrait)

Let's all try and keep Li'l Satan... uh, Spencer in his room. For all our safety.

Little Spencer at Drink at Work.com: Spencer

A reminder of how far my tiny brain has to go...

They (They, the people... The guys) announced on the radio this morning that it's Stephen Jay Gould's birthday. My reaction was to dust off this book:




I'm not a big reader of books, but every once and a while I say something so horribly stupid, that I head to a bookstore to try and salvage what's left of the part of my brain reserved for retaining information. A few years ago, I had one such incident, so I picked up Dinosaur in a Haystack–mostly 'cause the cover was cool–but also because I'm a guy, and guys like dinosaurs. I like to see them eat people (preferably my asshole neighbor).

Sadly, this book has very little to do with dinosaurs, much less them eating my neighbor, which at first was disappointing. However, after I read it, accompanied by a dictionary, encyclopedia, calculator and thesaurus, I was amazed what it taught me about human nature and how we're really all just a insignificant dust spec in an infinitely huge universe.

Its both inspiring and depressing all at once.

So, in honor of the late Mr. Gould's birthday, I'm going to re-read his book. Maybe this time I'll understand at least 50% of it.

A Window On My World: The Cover 2 Defense vs The System

Welcome, Good Readers, to another Window On My World...

First of all, let me start this post by emphasizing that I am not:

• A Communist
• A Jesus-hater
• A little bit "funny"

All clear?

OK, so in keeping with those three key points, let me say that I like football, I played football, and I can't stop playing Madden 2008 on my XBox 360.

That said, football season is upon us yet again, and I find the whole thing terribly depressing as a strange fever yet again grips our Great America.

I am not the first (nor will I be the last) to make the observation that if the avid football fan threw one-tenth of his football-focused brainpower into more weighty matters, the Monday water-cooler conversation would shift from...

"Jesus, did you see how they couldn't get shit done against that Cover 2 defense on Sunday? For the money they're spending, they should lose their jobs!" to...

"Jesus, did you see how we haven't gotten shit done against some of these Iraqi insurgents these past few years? For the money they're spending, they should lose their jobs!"

For cryin' out loud the security guy at work - normally a surly fellow with a "Fuck it, no changin' things, no sense complainin' about it" attitude - was telling me today about how he constructs a gigantic weekly grid with each regular season game. He uses this matrix to plan his "loser's survival pool" (naturally "because there's less skill in picking the winners") and then tweaks the thing for various scenarios that could play out across the year before making his picks. Naturally, he updates the grid each week that he survives...

His political views? All sorts of things rile him up, from the war to how long it takes to plow around our building, but they all elicit the same response "Eh, fuck it. There's no fighting The System..."

I'm not even sure what "System" he's talking about, exactly, but from our conversations, I know that it's spelled with capital letters and has an insatiable thirst for power mixed with a cold disdain for the Average Joe. So it's... um... that "System"!

But still! No fighting it?!? Look up from your grid, man! There's shit going down!

We're at war! Our elected officials are too busy looking for anonymous sex in airport restrooms to save our Great America! The Canadian dollar, once an object of mockery to be spent like Monopoly money by drunken college kids at Montreal strip clubs, is practically at parity!

The only good news I've heard in a while is that chocolate rations are up.

I know, I know, football is an escape from reality. It's entertainment on an over-the-top scale, featuring ridiculously fit athletes pushing themselves to the limits and beyond.

In a world where you can't fight The System, complaining doesn't do you much good. But you can always lament to any stranger how the Patriots let their key receivers get away last year and threw the season away in that last game against the Colts. (OK, any stranger wearing a Sox hat and named Sully/Murph/Whitey...)

And whether you're talking about The System or the Pats, you can't change anything - but at least thousands of people didn't die in the 2006 playoffs.

More importantly, this year, the Pats essentially smashed a bug with a sledgehammer by loading up on free agent receivers. That's like hitting a giant Undo Button!

There are no do-overs as far as The System is concerned, and there's no starting fresh each year.

No, The System just keeps digging in, looking to sustain itself, trying to muscle over people and crushing most of them like bugs. And when the system wants something, it's not afraid to ally itself with its enemy's enemy, regardless of the consequences. When it meets resistance, it stops at nothing...

Um...

OK, I'm starting to see the appeal.

Go Pats!

Back To School

The Muffin Man

New Dudes In Bed: Mark Ellis 40% Gay?

Click the framegrab image below to watch this episode:

If you like this video please make sure to vote 5-stars and leave a comment.

If you do perhaps NBC will stop threatening to cut off my fingers and waterboard my pets because I'm not driving enough traffic to their site.

Also, Mark Ellis and Nick Youssef are both really funny comics and cool guys. If you haven't already please add them as your Myspace friends.

The Party Faithful Tomorrow at Luna Lounge in Brooklyn

Change is good. The Party Faithful have been a few different bands in the past: Lolita Bras, Mothlight, Dollhouse Architects. I first saw them in their Dollhouse phase at the old Luna Lounge on Ludlow Street. Now, they're The Party Faithful and they're playing at the new Luna Lounge in Williamsburg. Full circle much?

Most exciting of all, I think they've finally nailed it. Sometimes you have to live and breath as one thing before you hit upon that which truly makes you, you. I think Patrick, Paul and Erica have it now. Check out one of their new songs, Revolution Fuse, below...and then go check them out at Luna tomorrow night.

Welcome back, lads and lady!

Revolution Fuse

Sorry honey, you're better off selling some old shoes...

I just did one of the most depressing things, I found out my "body worth" if I was to drop right now.

Evidently, I can't pay the bills when I'm dead, either.

$4250.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

Update: I just messed with the thing to see how high of a number I could get. The best I could do was $9765 for a diabetic albino dwarf, under the age of 12, with a drinking problem. See if you can all beat that!

I also just realized this thing is from some kind of dating site. For the record, I am happily married and not looking. The link was emailed to me. Hand to God.

Can ya tell I'm procrastinating today?

Eesh.

Fake rock fans, meet Fake Rockstar studios...

Talented artist and illustrator, Linzie Hunter, has this cool blog where she showcases artists' workspaces. She's compiled a hefty list that now includes this Fake Rockstar.

If you check it out, be sure you have a couple hours of downtime to spare. Its very interesting and very addictive. You'll feel slightly dirty, in a voyeuristic satisfaction kinda way...

See Corey's entry: Fake Rockstar offices

Rock and/or roll,

R_Star

The Pretty, Pretty, Pretty