COMEDY IGLOO @ Comix tonight!

Our good pal Kevin Janus, proprietor of the successful and wonderful and otherkindwordsful, is taking ihs show on the road. A very short, one-stop road but a road nonetheless. Go support his "ful"ness. Info below.





The Comedy Igloo
Thursday, June 28, 2007 at 8pm

Comix
353 West 14th Street (just east of Ninth Ave)
Subway A, C, E, or L to 14th St.
(212) 524-2500
Admission: $10 USD/$10.68 CDN
www.comedyigloo.com
www.comixny.com

Trying to find the perfect place to celebrate Canada Day? Did you forget to call Canada and wish her a happy birthday last year? Look no further. This year, Canada is coming to you!

Canadian comedian Kevin Janus hosts a very special Canada Day Comedy Igloo Celebration with a lineup of the city's hottest comics, including:

* Christian Finnegan (headlining Comedy Central's "Two for Flinching College Tour"; VH1's "Best Week Ever"; "Comedy Central Presents: Christian Finnegan"; "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," "Chappelle's Show");

* Tom Shillue (" Late Night with Conan O'Brien"; "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"; "Comedy Central Presents: Tom Shillue");

* Leo Allen ( former writer for "Saturday Night Live"; "Comedy Central Presents: Slovin and Allen"; "Late Night with Conan O'Brien"; Comedy Central's "Premium Blend"; Comedy Central's "Comedians of Comedy")

* Ophira Eisenberg (Comedy Central's "Premium Blend"; Canadian Citizen); and
* Andres du Bouchet (Late Night with Conan O'Brien; Giant Tuesday Night).

TimeOut New York has lauded the show as a "Critic's Pick" and "Don't Miss". The Comedians magazine has called the show "one of the best stand-up programs in town." Billy Red Lyons from Maple Leaf Wrestling says: "Don'tchya dare miss it!"

Why celebrate Canada Day anywhere else?

The House Always Wins

My brother, Chris, who lives in Birmingham, Alabama just sent this to me. Please enjoy...

This is 100% true...it took place this morning at 7:45am at the Original Pancake House on Southside.

Chris: Yes ma’am, I’d like to get a to go order.

Cashier/Waitress: Ok sir, what would you like?

Chris: Just a sausage and egg sandwich on dry wheat toast…and I’d like the Turkey sausage.

Cashier/Waitress: Ok

(she walks to the back to turn the order in, she is gone for about 5 minutes then returns)

Cashier/Waitress: Sir, we only put bacon on breakfast sandwiches.

Chris: What? Since when? I’ve had that same sandwich here several times.

Cashier/Waitress: Sir, we only put bacon on a breakfast sandwich.

Chris: That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard…you make breakfast here right?

Cashier/Waitress: Yes

Chris: You have sausage back there right?

Cashier/Waitress: Yes

Chris: and wheat toast and eggs?

Cashier/Waitress: Yes

Chris: Then what is the problem?

Cashier/Waitress: We are only allowed to put bacon on a breakfast sandwich sir.

Chris: Allowed by whom?

Cashier/Waitress: The menu.

Chris: If you can show me where that menu strictly prohibits the use of sausage on a breakfast sandwich I will buy everyone in here breakfast.

Cashier/Waitress: SIR, we can only put bacon on a breakfast sandwich!

Chris: Ma’am, I’m simple trying to eat breakfast, this should not be this complicated.

Cashier/Waitress: It’s not, get something else.

Chris: So let me get this right, I can order eggs, sausage and wheat toast, I just can’t get them in the form of a sandwich?

Cashier/Waitress: That’s correct.

Chris: Will I get in trouble if I make them into a sandwich myself later?

Cashier/Waitress: Sir

Chris: Ok, Ok, I get it…let me get the sausage and eggs. Eggs lightly scrambled with cheese, no pancakes, substitute dry wheat toast instead.

(She rings up my order)

Cashier/Waitress: That will be $10.78

Chris: Excuse me? I get that all the time and it’s like $6 or $7.

Cashier/Waitress: The sausage and eggs is $5.95 and the dry wheat toast in $2.50.

Chris: The toast is in place of the pancakes! Jesus Christ lady, is this some new show where you fuck with people trying to eat breakfast?! Tell Ashton Kutcher to get his ass out here!

Cashier/Waitress: Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave!

Chris: That’s the best the thing you have said to me today.

I'll see you in Hell

Michael Moore reported on the Daily Show last night that he was bumped from Larry King for the recently incarcerated Paris Hilton.

People, get outta line fer the iPhone, go home and get yer hatin' hat and yer pokin' stick. We ride at dawn...


There's a doin's a transpirin'!

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Sean Wants You to Eat Domino's, New Vlogs, Next DAW Show, Lizz Winstead's New Show

The good fortune just keeps rolling into our little community of comedians. Recently, our buddies Matt McCarthy and Pete Holmes booked a Sears commercial and were whisked off to LA to shoot it. And now, the corporate advertising dollar has finally seen fit to smile upon DAW's own Sean Crespo. That's right, our little Sean just booked a Domino's commercial! Mmmm, pizza! On top of that, he booked a McDonald's voice over on the same day. Congrats, Sean! When it rains it pours pizza and burgers.

We've got some new vlogs up at DotComedy from both Sean and Carol, as well as new blog entries in their Read This or Die section. Check em out, and please rate them and comment if you have a moment.

Manny, Part 2:



Topless in New York City


Next week's show is going to be a blast. Unfortunately, Lizz Winstead had to cancel due to a last minute trip...we've decided to forgive her because of this video she just posted to her myspace page. It is, as she so aptly puts it, both upsetting and hilarious. But fear not, comedy fans, we will be getting another great headliner to stop by instead. We'll let you know who that's going to be asap.

And speaking of Lizz, mark your calendars now for her new weekly comedy variety show, Shoot the Messenger, starting July 9th, 8pm at Ace of Clubs. DAW's all over this show as well, with Carol co-producing and Sean performing each week. And of course, you won't want to miss out on the parade of celebrity guests and other big-brained people Lizz will be recruiting for each show.

See y'all Tuesday!

Learn about the exciting world of comic strips!

Want to know what it's like to work in the overpaid, bacon-filled magical Candyland of syndicated comic strips? Come to Portland Maine, tomorrow and find out! Corey will be accompanied by fellow cartoonists Lincoln Peirce and Wiley Miller for a forum about the clusterfuck that is cartooning.



There'll be book signings and ass whoopings after the show. Bring your rotten fruit and hurtful words! Some will win! Some will cry!



Here's the skinny:



Maine Festival of the Book



Panel with Wiley Miller, Lincoln Peirce and Corey Pandolph



Moderator: Rick Lowell



Location: Maine Historical Society, 489 Congress Street



Date: Saturday, June 23



Time: 3:00-4:15 pm (assumes 40-50 minute presentation and 30 minute book signing)

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Manny Part 2: Bathroom Break

Final Reminder: Paul Mecurio at DAW Tonight!

One last reminder for you about our awesome show tonight, featuring Emmy and Peabody Award-Winning Comic Paul Mecurio (The Daily Show).

Joining him will be Jon Lang, Jay Bois, sketch group MEAT, as well as your host Craig Baldo and your best friend Sean Crespo.

And don't forget: the first 10 people who buy tickets to the show get a free shot! Get there early for the happy hour (it lasts until 7:30).

See you tonight!

The Drink at Work Show
Tuesdays, 8pm
Rififi
332 E. 11th St.
$5
First ten guests get a free shot!

P.S. Here's Part 2 of Crespo's Father's Day vlog for those of you left hanging on the proverbial cliff:

vlog: HAPPY BELATED FATHER'S DAY (PART 1)

As you know, my father once accused me of leaving a demon in the house...this is how I dealt with it. Well, part one of how I dealt with it.

Craig Baldo Reveals the Truth Behind the Sopranos Finale

Craig Baldo: Comedian, Writer, Superhero. Oh, and he's also the host of The Drink at Work Show, but you already knew that. Baldo has started up a new blog with his writing partner Albertina Rizzo and it's devilishly funny. You can check them out regularly here.

Craig's latest post divulges the mystery behind the creation of the Sopranos: it was penned by a sorority girl.

Sopranos Contest Winner

I want to congratulate Ashley Bellingham, a sophomore at Auburn University, for winning the “Write the Last Scene of The Sopranos” contest. This spring, HBO offered aspiring writers the chance to show off their chops in this nation-wide contest to find America’s next David Chase. I caught up with Ashley who was tanning on the roof of her Alpha Phi sorority house.

CB: Hi Ashley.
AB: You’re blocking my sun.
CB: Sorry. What inspired you to write the last scene for The Sopranos?
AB: It’s my boyfriend’s favorite show. And Coleman’s not even Spanish.
CB: You mean Italian?
AB: Ewww no.
CB: Okay. So why did you end The Sopranos in a diner?
AB: ONION RINGS! Diners have the best onion rings.
CB: Why onion rings? What were you saying?
AB: Onion rings.
CB: Fair enough. And what about the song choice?
AB: Are you kidding me? “Don’t Stop Believin’” is the best song ever. Courtney, Lindsey and me know all the words.
CB: But why put it at the end of The Sopranos?
AB: Uh hello? It’s a happy song.
CB: The Sopranos isn’t necessarily a happy show.
AB: It is now.
CB: And the car parking? Did you…
AB: Oh god I can’t parallel park for shit, so I wanted what’s her name, the daughter, to be trying and trying to park her car. Cuz that’s life.
CB: It certainly is. I felt a lot of tension in that final scene. How did you go about creating it?
AB: The black guys.
CB: Right. Now tell me about the very end. The action stops suddenly and we cut to black.
AB: Actually, I had a different idea for an ending. As the big fat guy, the dad, eats the last onion ring, the song “Pour Some Sugar on Me” comes on the jukebox, balloons fall from the ceiling with a banner that says “Crime Doesn’t Pay!” and all the characters who died in previous episodes come back and wave to the camera. Then they bow. Fade out.
CB: Riveting. So why not that?
AB: Well actually, Greek Week had just started and I never really finished writing the scene cuz I had too many spirit posters to make for the girls. I just sent it in unfinished. I guess they liked it.
CB: Yeah, I guess they did.

This Is Not About Paris Hilton

Google Maps Extreme Street View

Vote for Dan!

Hey Everybody,

Dan Bialek still needs votes in Round 2 of the Famecast.com standup comedy competition. Voting began June 2nd and goes until June 16th. He needs your help to get to the next round of the competition.

If you can spare 30 seconds please register at Famecast.com and then vote for Dan’s video clip. If you voted for Dan in Round 1, please vote for him again now in Round 2 as all of the votes are reset to 0 as each round passes.

To make this as easy as possible Dan sent us these easy steps so you can register, vote for him and get on with your lives as soon and quickly as possible:

Step #1: Click HERE to register at Famecast.com.

Step #2: Then click HERE to go to Dan's video clip page and click on “Vote For This Artist” once there.

Step #3: That's it.

Thank you all very much. Dan really appreciates you taking the time to register and vote for him.

Kissing Booth 1 YEAR SHAME-IVERSARY

Year One of the Kissing Booth: A Statistical Review


Number of times Matt McCarthy showed his balls: 5.2

Number of times Brandy flipped someone off: still processing

Number of Times One or both of the hosts were visibly intoxicated/altered onstage: 4

Number of prop baby dolls currently owned by Brandy & Sara: 3

Number of creepy backrubs issued by John F. O'Donnell on/offstage: infinite

Number of stink eyes given to the D Lounge Bartender per show: 37

Number of dumps taken on stage: 1

Amount of show truncated due to tardiness of its 2 hosts: 60%

Number of bags of Hershey’s Kisses bought to serve at shows: 36

Number of Times a heckler has been told he would have his throat slit by Sara: 1



June 9th, 2007
10:30 pm - $7 cover

10:00pm Doors Open Pre-Prom Party (free spiked punch till it runs out)

10:30pm Show Begins

11:30ish FREE Party to follow (posed prom photos & share your prom story and get a FREE Jello Shot!!)

The Tank
279 Church Street between Franklin and White

$3 Beers All Nite Long!
FREE spiked punch!

With performances by:
Wendy Ho!
Party Central USA!
and
Tom McCaffrey!

...plus a video created with Anya Garrett and special guest appearances from Sue Ball, Mike Dobbins, Katina Corrao, Matt McCarthy, Seth Herzog, Sean Crespo and MORE MORE MORE!

As always, the kick ass dance party begins right when the show ends, SO STICK AROUND or DROP IN LATE!

A MESSAGE FROM BRANDY AND SARA

Brandy & Sara are so fucking amazed they managed to not die of alcohol poisoning over the past year that they're doing a big old celebration party & show. So come on down to our NEW location and share in what has been a year of nonstop filth, foul-mouthery and fun.

Honestly, we're so grateful to have gotten the chance to host the amazing talent we somehow bamboozled onto our stage in front of an audience of warm, wonderful friends (IE: drunks).

This month's installment of THE KISSING BOOTH will feature a mini-show and real life prom stories from lots of funny folks. Plus, appearances from some of your most beloved high school teachers, there to chaperone the totally rad pre-party (don't ask us how we found them, we just do shit like that).

EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS!!! Everyone in attendance will be eligible to be King & Queen of the PROM! Your paid admission comes complete with a ballot, so come on down and vote for your damn self.

PLUS! Candy, slow dancing to Warrant and the like, fast dancing to all sorts of "that rap noise" (copyright Brandy's Grandma 1993), comedy tech wizardry from our 3X Dope head writer MATT SEARS, posed prom photos of you looking all hot and shit that will be taken by the sultry NATHAN KLOKE (www.nathankloke.com ), and lots of hi-jinx and capers and cutups. Plus, our undying love to you for being a part of the show this past year!

SEE YOU THERE, SUCKAS! AND WEAR THEM PROM OUTFITS!


www.brandyforsale.com

Carol vlog: K.I.T. JERKS!

Ahhh memories... As high school students all over the country prepare for prom, Carol takes a look back... at what a jerk she was.

My New Favorite Comment on Our YouTube Page

Posted on the I Am Drugs: DT-42 video featuring Sean:

The man in this video is not white, he's a jew.

Did you know that all jews are non-white? They come from the middle east or Asia, and are only mixed with whites. So the next time you see one of these jews running a company without morals, don't go blaming whitey!

Only slightly less wonderful is the single, brave response this incendiary comment received:

Whatever - he doesn't look much like anyone about to run a company right now.

So, what should I do about nazi twunts posting irrelevant anti semitic racist messages(without morals) on YouTube?

Anti-Semitic, racist messages are one thing...but we simply won't stand for anti-Semitic, racist messages without morals.

FU*K YOU, F*CKITY F*CK (DRAMA SCHOOL)

If you had gone to one of the greatest dramatic academies in the world you'd be more familiar with this Mamet classic... and others. Write to Sean and become a successful actor:

SeanCrespoWillTeachYouVlogging@gmail.com

VLOG: ALL JUICED UP

Carol talks about the rods in her spine, drinks pickle juice, and thinks about lying to a Beatle's daughter.

Grade Corey's Threadless Submission! Maybe he'll bake you a pie...

Check it out... As if Corey doesn't get enough hate mail and bad press, he's posted a submission on www.threadless.com. Go ahead, click the link below and join the steady stream of public destruction of Corey's character and self-confidence.


Vote! Pie for some, satisfaction for all!

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VLOG: MALE NANNY aka MANNY

What you're about to see is manipulative and dishonest... but it's REALLY cute! This is Sylvia Jane Krueger. For three years I was a male nanny and grew to love this little girl and her brother (featured two vlogs from now) Jacob. They're smart, cute, and most importantly, my ticket to the big table at NBC. NBC, listen, I can't be any more direct about this than I already have. Watch the vlog. Then call my people. They'll set something up. Just not during snack time which is followed by naps (old habits, man).

VLOG: Undercover Secret Shopper

I'm Only a Man...THE VLOG!

Hey guys, here's my first vlog for NBC's DotComedy site. Be a lamb and watch, rate, comment away!

xoxo, Carol