Haulin' the Mail

Time once again, oh beautiful minions of the Internet, for Ask Drink at Work: The somewhat-weekly segment where we answer real-live anthrax-laden letters from real-live nutjobs.

This week's letter comes from the lovely city of Rawlins, Wyoming.

Wyoming: "The one everyone forgets when naming the 50 states"

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Dear Drink at Work,

My name is Thor Knucklerub. I currently reside at the the Wyoming State Prison, on account of my choppin' my wife up and runnin' her pieces through the dishwasher–Who's doin' the dishes now, bitch?!

Anyway, your site is one of the ten they let us look at (I really miss porn) during our afternoon "Start your own business on the Internet" course. My letter is less of a question and more of a request: If I were to find myself suddenly "free" of these walls, say, tonight at exactly 9:25pm, are you hiring? I have a lady friend in the NYC area that I can hide out with. I'm a funny a guy, about 6 foot 7 inches, with four snake tattoos and HTML/CSS experience.

P.S. Is Crespo as sweet as he looks in his vlogs and pics?

Cheers!

Thor

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Dear Thor,

First, let us say how happy we are that our "laughter for prisoners" program is working out. Success stories like yours are what we can't see on a site traffic report. It's the real people... The little and incarcerated people... That make a difference.

As for your employment request, unfortunately, we have just moved the Drink at Work offices out of Manhattan to an undisclosed location. It would be very very very inconvenient for you to commute to our new offices from the city, what with your having to steal a car on a daily basis and all... May we suggest you try starting a comedy show of your own, preferably at your current residence?

As for Crepso's Sweetness... He wears pajamas with feet and tiny printed teddy bears and sucks on cherry lollipops when he's sad.

Thanks for Asking Drink at Work!

The Drink at Work Team

Sent up the river, but still have a burning question when you pee? Send us an email at askdaw@drinkatwork.com. We'll dispense the Penicillin you've been wantin'...