The House Always Wins

My brother, Chris, who lives in Birmingham, Alabama just sent this to me. Please enjoy...

This is 100% true...it took place this morning at 7:45am at the Original Pancake House on Southside.

Chris: Yes ma’am, I’d like to get a to go order.

Cashier/Waitress: Ok sir, what would you like?

Chris: Just a sausage and egg sandwich on dry wheat toast…and I’d like the Turkey sausage.

Cashier/Waitress: Ok

(she walks to the back to turn the order in, she is gone for about 5 minutes then returns)

Cashier/Waitress: Sir, we only put bacon on breakfast sandwiches.

Chris: What? Since when? I’ve had that same sandwich here several times.

Cashier/Waitress: Sir, we only put bacon on a breakfast sandwich.

Chris: That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard…you make breakfast here right?

Cashier/Waitress: Yes

Chris: You have sausage back there right?

Cashier/Waitress: Yes

Chris: and wheat toast and eggs?

Cashier/Waitress: Yes

Chris: Then what is the problem?

Cashier/Waitress: We are only allowed to put bacon on a breakfast sandwich sir.

Chris: Allowed by whom?

Cashier/Waitress: The menu.

Chris: If you can show me where that menu strictly prohibits the use of sausage on a breakfast sandwich I will buy everyone in here breakfast.

Cashier/Waitress: SIR, we can only put bacon on a breakfast sandwich!

Chris: Ma’am, I’m simple trying to eat breakfast, this should not be this complicated.

Cashier/Waitress: It’s not, get something else.

Chris: So let me get this right, I can order eggs, sausage and wheat toast, I just can’t get them in the form of a sandwich?

Cashier/Waitress: That’s correct.

Chris: Will I get in trouble if I make them into a sandwich myself later?

Cashier/Waitress: Sir

Chris: Ok, Ok, I get it…let me get the sausage and eggs. Eggs lightly scrambled with cheese, no pancakes, substitute dry wheat toast instead.

(She rings up my order)

Cashier/Waitress: That will be $10.78

Chris: Excuse me? I get that all the time and it’s like $6 or $7.

Cashier/Waitress: The sausage and eggs is $5.95 and the dry wheat toast in $2.50.

Chris: The toast is in place of the pancakes! Jesus Christ lady, is this some new show where you fuck with people trying to eat breakfast?! Tell Ashton Kutcher to get his ass out here!

Cashier/Waitress: Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave!

Chris: That’s the best the thing you have said to me today.