Threaduments: Halo 3

Pick a topic, any topic. I guarantee there are at least 400 chat rooms and a few million people whose existences are dedicated solely to discussing that issue's minutiae. Few subjects however elicit the kind of shear emotional attachment that the Halo trilogy brings out in its fans.

I myself once lost 6 weeks of my life to the Halo trilogy. I was living in los Angeles. My writing partner Dan Bialek and I were night shift security guards at Warner Brothers and hated every waking moment of our lives. Then along came Halo. Within a week we had neglected two shifts and at least 48 hours of sleep simply to get past a particularly difficult level.

And that was just Halo 1! Just think of what might have happened if I hadn't stumbled onto Halo until part three had been released. That's 3 games' worth of hermetism I'd have to have gotten through. I could have died from radon exposure or Doritos-related trauma. Or at the least, I could have gotten kicked out of my apartment after I failed to accomplish Mission: Rent.

Really though, when you're a genetically and mechanically enhanced super soldier whose name includes the word "MASTER"...what does a little thing like "rent" really matter? I mean, I was fighting for all of mankind against invincible alien hordes with superior technology. You know what, Mr. Kemp (that's my old landlord), when the Covenant glass whatever planet from the Outer Rim you're from, don't come crying to me, Master Chief, the guy you forced to get a job at Arby's so he could pay you the paltry sum of $600 for April's rent. And try to get this into your thick Ukranian skull, ok Kemp. I could pay for rent...if I had time for it but I'm busy shitcanning Brutes and Elites all day so you can enjoy the comforts of NOT BEING EATEN ALIVE. You think I can't afford it? Listen, the techonological development in creating even just one loop of the biofeedback reflex-enhancement circuitry in just one of my Mjolnir armor's pinky gauntlets costs more than your entire chain of apartment complexes and furthermore---

Wait. See? This is what Halo does to you. It turns us into monsters. I....sometimes I get lost in it, ok? But that doesn't make me a bad person. It just makes me "murdertron," which is how I'm known in the gaming world.

Nevermind. You guys just don't get it. This is Halo we're talking about. HA-goddamn-LO, people. Some of us have strong feelings about it ok? And some others of us have strong feelings as well as online avatars.

You're just jealous. Deal with it.

Regardless, I think you will enjoy the passion with which these online Halo haters and fans debate. This is just a brief taste of things to come, but we'll be back soon with a another installment of Threaduments featuring a more extensive trove of threads regarding Halo and many other inflammatory subjects, like Mac Vs PC, Yankees Vs. Red Sox, and cats.

All up in your grill,
murdertron



THREADUMENT #1

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BY MrMikeMa
Apr 25, 2007 4:28 am PT
I don't hate Halo, but it is most certainly overrated.

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BY Jedi_Mercenary
Apr 25, 2007 10:01 am PT
You want an overrated game? Try Ocarina of Time. I think it is a good game, but sure as hell not that good.

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BY madcaptech
Apr 25, 2007 10:16 am PT
Dude not everyone thinks the same as you. ******.




THREADUMENT #2

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BY LlamaInACake
Apr 27, 2007 8:44 pm PT
"Why are we even arguing about a videogame and whether or not it is innovative or not? Shouldn't we just be enjoying it and ignoring those who don't like it because they need to keep their opinions to theirself?"

Maybe because it isn't out yet >.>....

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BY GoryForMe
Apr 27, 2007 8:59 pm PT
LlamaInACake and NinjaInACan. I call shenanigans...





THREADUMENT #2


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BY morrowind3crazy
Apr 28, 2007 12:42 am PT
Alright, so for most of this topic, people are debating whether or not Halo is innovative. Well it isnt and it is.

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BY Wes_Stone
Apr 28, 2007 12:48 am PT
I like Halo, but I hate people like you who think Halo is the greatest game ever. It isn't. It's just a GAME. Like pacman or Frogger. and in 10 years, no one will play it cause it'll be outdated garbage.

Hopefully you will see the light and pull your head out of your can.

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BY Halo_Forever
Apr 28, 2007 12:53 am PT
>LlamaInACake and NinjaInACan. I call shenanigans...

No, Ninja proved a fair argument by bringing up names to games that had similar features before BEFORE Halo, which is 100x more than the fanboys I usually debate with can do (note Ninja not calling you a fanboy just the other people I usually debate with).

Still Ninja some of your points can be debated such your weapon change thoughts.





THREADUMENT #3
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BY bradroxursox
Apr 30, 2007 9:26 am PT
Halo was not innovative, stop kidding yourself. Your theory of what innovation means is ridiculous. Webster defines innovation as:

Main Entry: in·no·va·tion
Pronunciation: "i-n&-'vA-sh&n
Function: noun
1 : the introduction of something new

This, Halo is not.