Friday, January 05, 2007

Weather Curiosity: 69 degrees winter day tomorrow (1/6/07) in New York City

But yeah, let's keep that "debate" about global warming going a little longer. I'm so tired of beautiful snow peacefully blanketing the ground and enjoying hot cocoa inside after a snowball fight and not sweating in January. Really, it's got to come to a stop. Thankfully, America's business butt-buddies, the Republicans, have been doing God's work (well, the God in Revelations at least) and making sure we fart out every ounce of fossil fuel we can from our collective societal asses.

We should run a few more years' studies to make absolutely sure that that blue liquid coming off the melting arctic shelves is in fact water, and not, as the Heritage Foundation would have us believe "spillage from an enormous, delicious raspberry Slushy. And what kind of American could hate a Slushy?"

Maybe conservatives are stalling, keeping their shrill cries and hope-stabbing decibels up just long enough for the Republican Party to grow gills and invent underwater firearms. Couldn't live without those, now could they? I sure hope they invent Mer-Mexicans to carry out all the hard labor for them in their new briny abodes. I wonder though it they'll pay them under the water table, so taxes don't get taken out or if they'll even pay them minimum wave.

waterworld.jpg
ABOVE: Future American President Costner, about to sign the historic Mer-American Aquahomestedders Surrender Treaty with Atlantian Emperor Screelleeeaaaascreeekky Skreeeeek Skreeeeleeekee. Note Costner's use of the traditional harpoon-shaped quill, a sign of respect to our new H2Overlords.

4 Comments:

Anonymous jeremiah said...

And would it kill the local news anchors not to act like this weather's the best thing that's ever happened to the city? God.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud when I read this. It's either that or cry :).

10:27 PM  
Blogger The Matt said...

I am currently in Boulder, CO. We had 32" of snow two Fridays ago. We had 18" of snow last Friday. We had 10" of snow today (yeah, it's a Friday).

I'd just like to say that I hate all New Yorkers. DCians. And anyone on the East Coast. And West Coast. And people in the South.

10:38 PM  
Blogger The Crespo said...

record snow in denver, sweltering late spring days in new york, cats and dogs living together...!

2:07 PM  

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