Behind-the Scenes Trivia from Newly-Released Original Star Wars Trilogy DVDs

First Yoda clearly Beaker from The Muppet Show.

When Darth Vader cuts down Ben Kenobi in Star Wars, actor Alec Guiness can be seen mouthing the words "Thank the fuck God this is over."

George Lucas was so afraid Princess Leia may come across as sexy that he not only strapped down Carrie Fischer's breasts but also momentarily considered recasting the role with George Segal.

Original recording of Imperial March (Darth Vader's Theme) obviously influenced by Parliament/Funkadelic.

The Stormtroopers were first conceived as "completely blind" to explain their remarkable inability to kill any of the major characters, even at close range.

Star Wars was based not only on the fillm The Hidden Fortress by Akira Kurosawa but also on a Gary Marshall-penned Love, American Style episode in which a boy and a girl are about to consumate their love only to realize that they're twins and their father is Josef Stalin.

Initial FX clip of Death Star sequence left studio wondering why paper airplanes were attacking a spray-painted kickball.

The working title for Episode VI was not Revenge of the Jedi but rather Kenner Presents the Ewoks.

Although he kept the olive complexion and hitman occupation, Lucas opted at the last minute to change the name "Guido" to "Greedo." It was the first of his many racially-sensitive decisions.

When Yoda says, "No, there is another" in The Empire Strikes Back he was referring to R2-D2.

Due to cost overruns, the Death Star compactor scene almost became the grisly denouement to Star Wars.

Jabba the Hutt was originally called "Luca Brasi."

Boba Fett's limited screen time was explained by making the character Orthodox Jewish and stating much of the action occurs on a Saturday.

In 1998 Lucas considered re-re-releasing Star Wars as A Very Special Episode IV, in which the characters all learn a valuable lesson about drug abuse and the importance of friendship.

The Cantina band was a last minute replacement for Little Feat.

Preliminary sketches for the Imperial AT-AT Walkers featured eight tentacles, roller skates and a single cap gun before Lucas settled on a slightly more practical miltary device.

It wasn't until the premiere of Star Wars that actor David Prowse learned his voice had been dubbed over by James Earl Jones, that Darth Vader was in fact the bad guy and that his big musical number had been cut.

Lucas's insistence that Lando Calrissian lost the Millenium Falcon in a dice game was resoundingly overruled by studio executives.

The Star Wars novel Splinter of the Mind's Eye was quickly made into a film in early 1978 and subtitled Episode 4a, but its low-budget, contradictory storyline and almost slavish dependence on Paul Lynde's improv skills ensured it would never be released.

George Lucas's nickname for Mark Hamill on the set was "Prop 1."

Lawrence Kasdan's script revelation that Han Solo and Chewbacca were "more than just friends" scared he crap out of everyone at Lucasfilm, 20th Century Fox and PETA.

Actor Anthony Daniels remains in C-3PO's armor to this day, having never known another person's touch.

Take Ye Heed, Watch and Pray:For Elmo Is Upon Us

Not since the massive build-up to the colossal letdown that was the Segway Scooter has a new product been so shrouded in mystery. Amazon.com only offers the above obscured image and the curiously menacing phrase "Red Alert." Today's The Wall Street Journal features the headline "S is for Secrecy." And the latest edition of BusinessWeek has this to say:

"It's the best-kept secret in toyland. On Sept. 19, Mattel Inc. will debut the latest version of its popular Elmo toy. In the past, the furry red "Sesame Street" character has giggled when tickled, danced the hokey pokey, and performed the limbo in a Hawaiian shirt. This year, however, Mattel is refusing to reveal Elmo's latest trick. To build buzz for the toy's 10-year anniversary, retailers won't receive boxes of the new $40 Elmos until the night before they go on sale. Some stores have even installed countdown calendars, tearing off the days until T.M.X. Elmo is unveiled on 'Good Morning America."

Yes, Elmo. It's been a full decade since Tickle Me Elmo was first introduced with the retail equivalent of "shock and awe," resulting in utter chaos, screaming families and costs that far exceeded official estimates. Now in celebration of its tenth birthday--and as a crucial salve to a financially wounded Mattel--the 2006 Elmo is being treated with all the ritual and hand-wringing usually reserved for a new pope or original Star Wars DVD release.

But still the queasy uncertainty remains--what will "T.M.X. Elmo" have to offer us, a nation in dire need of cultural salvation, public hope or at least one purchase item that doesn't result in widespread E.coli? Mattel isn't saying but thanks to some boardroom spying techniques I picked up at a Hewlett-Packard executive seminar I was able to narrow down the possible "upgrade" to the following options. Question is, which do you think is most likely?

That Guy from High School You Can't Believe Is Still Hanging Out at the Same Bar You Hung Out in High School Elmo
Begins every playtime with "Well, well, well, Look who decided to deign us with his presence...The Deigner." Then launches into shared memories you're pretty sure you had no role in, updates about classmates you couldn't identify now with dental records and remarks about how the town has gone to hell because of certain people who moved in that certainly have every right to move in but really would be happier moving somewhere else, he's just saying.

Maternal Elmo
Looks at you in total silence for upwards of five minutes, smiling or just shaking its head, until you eventually say. "What?....What?! What?!" only for it to reply sweetly "I was just looking at you," followed five minutes later with "Well, since you asked..." Tends to read the newspaper out loud, every so often saying, "My, my" to no one in particular. Thinks you're either too thin or too fat and probably depressed although God knows you wouldn't tell it if you were, which is a shame because all it ever wanted was for you to be happy. Has become fascinated with a new pet.

Deep, Deep, Deep in the Closet Elmo...Maybe...
Never says a word. Comes complete with a fellow Muppet that stands at a distance, looking at Elmo and saying discreetly to playmate, "Who's he kidding?...I mean, seriously, who's he kidding?...He's got to be kidding, right? Am I wrong about this? Because if I am then I am and it doesn't even really matter but...c'mon!... Yes, I know he's married. But so was Peter Allen...Peter Allen...You know, cabaret-style singer...Was married to Liza Minelli...Starred in the musical Legs Diamond...What do you mean only a gay guy would know that?! It was on Broadway!...No, not for a long time but there were a lot of commercials for it...Hugh Jackman even played him on The Great White Way...What the hell's wrong with the phrase 'The Great White Way'?! ...Hey, I have a girlfriend! Two if I follow-up on some leads...You wanna arm wrestle?! Huh?! Is that it?! You wanna arm wrestle?! 'Cause I will! ...No, that's not an excuse to touch you! Jesus! You know what? You know what? Just forget it...Forget it...Forget the whole thing...He's probably straight anyway...Men...We're all just a bunch of typical men..."

Post 9-11 Newly Conservative Elmo
Press it's stomach to hear, "Trust me, I still want only the best for poor people, minorities and what have you. Honest, I do. But there are just bigger concerns right now than making sure one's fellow man is alive and well. Like making sure they're safe and free. Because freedom is what it's really all about. The freedom to stand together as one. With other Christians. Because this is a Christain nation, no matter what they Jew down the block claims or whatever that ACLU lawyer who's always going on and on about some welfare cheat's rights has to open his goddamn mouth about. After all, you heard what Dennis Miller had to say about this. Trust me, in the end you know I'm right."

Bionic Frog: The Wikipedia Entry

Francesco and his childhood friend James--inspired by the then Sunday night one-two TV punch that was Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom and The Six Million Dollar Man--attempted to make the world's first bionic frog in 1975, with predictable results.

History_______________________________________________________
The experiment was merely one of a long line of scientific miscalculations and flawed reasonings for the imaginative (though not particulary informed) partnership, which had previously met with no success on such endeavors as the homemade personal helicopter (plank of wood, two plastic air compressors from parents' aquarium), electric portable cooler (lunchbox, aluminum foil, unattached batteries), superpower juice (crushed wild berries from backyard woods, repetitive vomiting) and robot sidekick (overturned wastebasket, extension cord).

Experiment___________________________________________________
The Bioinic Frog Project--initiated, supervised and performed by James with Francesco occasionally interjecting "But wait..."--began on a less than auspicious note. Using a steak knife, the spring from a Bic ballpoint pen and a piece of yarn, James began operating on the frog's right hind leg near the neighborhood pond, only to accidentally and immediately sever the muscle. James then unintentionally tore the leg's skin wide open while trying to insert the not-so-coiled spring, resulting in both an exceedingly hyperextended limb and a less than lucid amphibian.

Unable to stitch the leg back up because neither he nor Francesco knew how to sew nor remembered to bring a sewing needle, James instead applied copious duct tape to the now "improved" body part, believing such would be long-lasting as well as provide good protection from the rain. Francesco, meanwhile, abstained from the surgical procedure, both because he had misgivings from the very moment his friend first united the words "frog" and "bionic" and because he came from a long line of less-than-hearty souls (including a little brother who was once deathly afraid of both the vacuum cleaner and the opening credits to Land of the Lost and a father who had tripped over a park bench while running away from a butterfly).

Results_______________________________________________________
The patient, alas, was released after the one poorly installed bionic feature. He then proceeded to jump at angles often at 90 degrees variance from his intended direction, until he eventually made his way back to the pond...from which he never resurfaced.

Partnership___________________________________________________
The scientific partnership dissolved shortly thereafter, only to reappear as the 70's hard rock duo Coach and then again as a writing partnership for the unfilmed screenplay Universal, about a Battlestar Galactica-like ship going up against a Star Wars-like menace.

External links__________________________________________________
Opening Credits to The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman
Remarkably Unfortunate Outtake from 70's kids show The New Zoo Review featuring Freddy the Frog
The All-True Story of a Band Called Coach Part One and Part Two