Howard Graham Buffett's Reaction Upon Hearing His Dad Warren Give Away Most of the Family Fortune: A Transcript

* "Look, sweetie! Grandpa's on TV!"

* "Wait, rewind that."

* "What the hell do you mean he's not taking any calls right now?! I'm his son!...No, the other one!...That's his caddy!"

* "Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! Our house! Our helipad!...The gryphon!"

* "Of course I don't know what I'm doing! But do you know how much it costs to have a fresco refurbished professionally?!?"

* "I'm sorry, Rubella, but we just can't afford to have you as our maid anymore...Not even on alternating weeks...What?...Yeah, well you just try and scrape up the funds for a DNA test. Until then your little boy still calls me 'Mr. Buffett.'"

* "See?! See?! It said so right on the coupon! 'Two medium pizzas with one topping, free two-liter soda, $18!' You order two large pizzas and you might as well say, 'Here! Ass-rape our bank account!'"

* "That's five dollars to pet the gryphon, ten to ride it and a hundred to have 15 minutes alone with it."

* "They want more scones and apple butter?! What do all our B&B guests have, tapeworm?!"

* "I rented the main house to something called The Real World. See the girl face down in our hot tub not making any more bubbles? She's the 'fun one.'"

* "You know, I'm really getting sick and tired of hearing the word 'arson.'"

* "Hello, Warren? We have your son Howard. If you ever want to see him alive again just drop off $37 billion dollars at...Well, can I finish first?...Yeah, we'll make sure he doesn't feel a thing..."

* "Hey, Morty. Gimme a Pick 6, two Lucky 7's, a Jersey Jackpot and whatever you got in your cash register."

* "I ate the gryphon."

Ultimate 80's Movie Music Mix!

Longing to hear "Cool Rider" by Michelle Pfeiffer from Grease 2? How about "The Goonies R Good Enough" by Cyndi Lauper? And of course, who could do without "Hunger City" by The Cherry Bombs, Lea Thompson's band in Howard the Duck? Then check out Gnarly 80's Movie Mix over at the particularly excellent music blog Kwaya Na Kisser. From The Lost Boys to Valley Girl, with an essential stop for Eddie and the Cruisers, here is collection of soundtrack songs that helped either define or destroy a decade (quite possibly both). And while at the site, also make sure to check out The Junk Food Mix, The Love Requited and Unrequited mixes and The Best Radiohead Covers post.

And as an extra bonus, "The Reproduction Song" from Grease 2.

Corey Pandolph's Discouraging Word

A Clear and Present Danger to the People and Pets of America...or Grandpa
Corey Pandolph

Full Article

A Quick Moment with Carol

Does anyone else want to stab people in the neck whenever you hear the phrase "baby bump"?

xoxo,
Carol

"World Cup Mania" (or "How Portugal Finally Makes the Evening News")

Brought to our attention by DAW buddy Drew, made possible by a link through the truly excellent Cartoon Brew Blog (a must for serious animation fans) and created by Grant Orchard, Park Foot Ball (2005) is a two-minute After Effects marvel that brings great action, humor and even personality to simple blocks of color, thanks to tremendous talent, great imagination and pitch-perfect sound effects. Check it out!

The Drink at Work Show: TONIGHT!

THE DRINK AT WORK SHOW
Monday, June 26th
8:00 P.M.
Ace of Clubs
(Downstairs of ACME)
9 Great Jones Street
(Between Broadway and Lafayette)
$5

Comedy and Music By:
Christian Finnegan
David Rees
Vince Averill
Kambri Crews
DJ Craig Baldo
Sean Crespo
Lonesome Jack
And a surprise guest or two!

Hosted by Your Drink at Work.com Bartenders:
Carol Hartsell and Francesco Marciuliano

A Terrifying Message from Al Gore

Curious Quote of the Week

"Why do we want to get something like this wrong? It would be like having a dinosaur as our state reptile."--New York Assemblywoman Nancy Calhoun, on learning New York's official state insect, the nine-spotted ladybug, has long been extinct in the region.

Full Story.

* New York also has an official muffin (apple). Massachusetts has the corn muffin. Minnesota and Washington share the blueberry muffin.

* Oklahoma has 12 official "state menu intems"--barbecued pork, chicken-fried steak, sausage, biscuits and gravy, fried okra, squash, grits, corn, black-eyed peas, cornbread, strawberries and pecan pie.

* Ohio's official state song is "Hang on Sloopy." Idaho's is "Here We Have Idaho."

* Oregon is still sticking with "Beaver State" as its official nickname.

* 22 states list "square dance" as their official state dance. North Carolina has clogging. Vermont has "The Justin."

* Milk is the official beverage of 18 states. Rhode Island's is "coffee milk." Nebraska's is Kool-Aid.

* The official sport of Maryland is jousting.

* Indiana's state slogan is "Restart Your Engines." North Dakota's is "Legendary." Wisconsin's is "Stay Just a Little Bit Longer."

* Alabama is the only state with an "official spirit"--Conecuh Ridge Alabama Fine Whiskey.

Sean Crespo Will Teach You Satire

PEDERAST FONZARELLI
By Sean Crespo and Dan Bialek

Full Article

What if the U.S. Had Won the World Cup?

* American bumper stickers feature two flaming soccer balls and the words "Never forget."

* 16 movies immediately greenlit to capitalize on soccer fever, featuring such taglines as "It Was U.S. Versus Them!" "God Bless U.S." and "U.S. Are the Champions."

* Americans overturn cars, set fire to own nation in celebration.

* Fox News calls soccer moms "noble women's work."

* Class-5 hurricane formed by excessive flag waving.

* New fan Ann Coulter vehemently defends her position that soccer proves there was no Holocaust, slavery or Canada.

* America feels free to improve game with baseball bats, first downs and Texas Hold 'em.

* Bush demands rest of the world refer to sport as "soccer" or "football 2."

* Bostonians now have two teams to completely rule their lives.

* For some inexplicable reason the troops are mentioned.

"Medium Large Guy" Look-Alike Contest!

The Medium Large Guy Summer Look-Alike Contest is in full-swing. Alas, it has not been fully promoted for quite some time, resulting in a rather infrequent entry rate.

So to counter that we've decided to extended the contest deadline to July 31, 2006 and advertise--in marketing nomenclature--"the shit out of it." There will be online banners! There will be outdoor billboards! There will be TV-enclosed commercials! There will probably just be a series of posts on this blog, each featuring a lucky contestant like Drink at Work.com friend and semi-professional webcomic character model Monsieur Yellojkt above.

Note the dead-eyed stare. The glass of indeterminate liquid. The rabbit ears on the TV. The pallor! Clearly M. Yellojkt is determined to win this contest. Either that or his wife just snapped a photo of him in his usual habitat and demeanor.

Think you can do better? All you need do is take a photo of yourself (be you male, female or other) imitating our very own Medium Large Guy, as seen in the above illustration. Then send it to ces@drinkatwork.com. Winner will appear in a Medium Large strip this very August!

Remember, the new deadline for submissions is July 31, 2006. Send early. Send often. But for the love of all that is holy, send now!

This offer not void in Utah. All photos become property of their original owner. Whatever happend to plans to make a "Goonies 2"? This fine print is not legally binding.

The Drink at Work Show--This Monday, June 26th!

THE DRINK AT WORK SHOW
Monday, June 26th
8:00 P.M.
Ace of Clubs
9 Great Jones Street
(Between Broadway and Lafayette)
$5

Comedy and Music By:
Christian Finnegan
David Rees
Vince Averill
Kambri Crews
DJ Craig Baldo
Sean Crespo
Lonesome Jack

Hosted by Your Drink at Work.com Bartenders:
Carol Hartsell and Francesco Marciuliano

Remi Frazier's Million Dollar Destiny

I got a friend request from this guy on myspace which I almost deleted because I thought it was an ad for some kind of pyramid scheme. But I started looking at his page and realized that this is a really freakin' ballsy project this dude is undertaking. In his own words:

My name is Remi Frazier. I'm taking $100, a cell phone, a camera, and leaving on a one-way ticket to New York City at midnight. In one month, I will come back to Colorado with a million dollars.

I've never been to New York. I don't have a place to stay. I don't have a network of people in the city; I haven't set anything up in advance. I'll be starting from scratch, building a business and a new social network from Friday, June 16 to Saturday, July 15th.

What I like most about reading through the posts on his myspace page is the combination of serious business strategizing with this romantic narrative of someone falling in love with New York City. I'm not quite sure what to make of all this; whether when he talks about chasing the American dream he means a sort of mercenary, "the million dollars IS the dream" concept or something more like "have the fucking nerve to do something no one thinks can be done." Nevertheless, it's only Day 4 in the project and I'm really interested to see where this thing goes.

Just please, PLEASE don't be a Republican, Remi.

Here's the video of his interview right before embarking on the project:

"The Golden Girls," Season 21, Episode 6

Scene: Living Room. Noon

Dorothy: I'm worried about Ma. It's been two weeks and she still hasn't gotten out of bed.

Rose: And Blanche has been slumped over that coffee table since last Saturday.

Dorothy: Rose, why aren't you wearing any clothes?

Rose: Why aren't you a Western omelet?

Dorothy: What?

Rose: This reminds me of the time in St. Olaf when the March of Dimes Walk resulted in a race of Swedish nomads.

Dorothy hits Rose with a rolled-up newspaper. Rose drops to the ground. She does not get up.

Dorothy: This calls for cheesecake.

Dorothy walks out into traffic.

Letters, We Get Letters...

From a Sally Forth reader:

One thing popped out at me from an otherwise unmemorable Sally Forth cartoon today: in the last panel, in place of a punchline, Ted Forth chooses to break his silence with a mention of Sudoku. Although many of the products created by the Japanese frighten and baffle me, 数独 is one on which I can at least take a definite stance.

Sudoku is no good. It has replaced the creativity, banal as it may at times have been, with something that can be generated by a machine. There is no creation in writing of a Sudoku puzzle, no human spark. Just as thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind, thou shouldst not ask a human mind to work as a machine.

Though puzzles have been simplified and distilled in the past—the crossword gave birth to the word search, and Boggle is but Scrabble for those with short attention spans,—Sudoku takes another step by making the creator as well as the solver optional, appealing only to those for whom numbers are a fantastic and frightening thing, symbols of a world full not of the might and wonder visible by the mathematician, but rather of a world opaque and obscured by a veil of apathy and ignorance.

The fact that Ted noticed Sudoku at all only makes me hate him more.

--dshea


Dear dshea:

I fear your rather intense emotional reaction to both a simple diversion and a fictional character--not to mention your pronounced fear of artificial intelligence, the Japanese and Parker Brothers--speaks of an all-too cloistered existence or a troubled soul crippled by abject loneliness.

I urge you to extend your social radius. Perhaps join a book club. Frequent a dining establisment and engage in conversations with the waitstaff. Take the extra time to respond to telephone solicitors. Anything to open both your mind and your opportunities for happiness. I worry about you and wish you the very best of luck.

Take care,
Ces

Sean Crespo Will Teach You Satire

Regicides Anonymous vs. Sean Crespo, Round 1
By Sean Crespo

Full Article

In the Absence of Accomplishment, Self-Praise

Today Republicans are forcing Democrats to vote on a resolution that praises U.S. troops and labels the Iraq war part of a global fight on terrorism.

Also attached to the resolution are the following Republican Party demands:

* "Absolute failure shall now be redefined as 'Glorious attempt at achieving an idea so grand in scope and lofty in ambition that the very endeavor to accomplish such enobles us all."

* “Risk board game territories to be renamed 'Us' and 'Them.'”

* "Any philospophical or scientific query into the nature of life and our very existence can be summarily answered with one response--'The Great Flood did it.'"

* "Ronald Reagan National Airport is to be renamed 'The Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan National Airport.'”

* "Vanilla is to be deemed the best ice cream flavor ever, because frankly chocolate scares us a little."

* "Poetry is a pseudo-study that leads to poor athletic performance and commitment ceremonies."

* "All debates effectively come to an end when someone employs the 'Yeah, but at the end of the day' closer."

* "Patriotism doubleplusgood for own well-being."

* "Two or more sides to every issue shall be recognized as a mathematical impossibility."

* "The statement 'As American as apple pie' is to be rephrased as 'As American as American pie.' Also, since pie is so synonymous with America, it, too, shall be renamed 'American.' Thus, the new statement shall be 'As American as American American.'"

* "If we say, 'God makes candy' and a liberal responds, 'Well, no, Hershey makes candy' then said liberal has effectively stated that 'God is not all-knowing and all-powerful, that in essence He does not exist and that Baby Jesus just might as well die.'"

Corey Pandolph's Discouraging Word

I’m a Rambling Rock Star with a Complex.
Corey Pandolph

Seriously, what else am I gonna do? Get a real job? I don’t think so.

Full Article

If King Missile Gave History Lessons

From Cox & Combes, the true story of George Washington:

Quotes from President Bush's Surprise Visit to Iraq

"I'm just here to show my support for the victims of tropical storm Alberto."

"I'm impressed by the the new Iraqi government. It's assembled people of different religions, different histories, different traditions, all together. That's not exactly how we do it in the U.S. government..."

"To anyone who might question how a 'surprise visit' could be so well choreographed for the media, let me just say this--turn in your press pass. Now."

"Of course we have a long road ahead of us. After all, Rome wasn't exactly built in a day. Now I hope that puts to rest any rumors of U.S. empire-building."

"The last time I visited Iraq was for Thanksgiving in 2003. But apparently this country celebrates it on a different day than we do."

"What happens in Baghdad stays in Baghdad. Seriously. I want a single shared camera for the press pool and a 45-minute broadcast delay on all news coverage."

"Now that Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki has filled the final positions in his government I believe we have enough support to finally overturn Roe v. Wade."

"When you're dealing with issues of enormous consequence, the security of our country, the security of the Middle East and the world, stopping by for five hours ought to do the trick."

"The great thing about al-Maliki...hey, can I call you 'Al'? You know, 'You can be my bodyguard...' Doesn't ring a bell? Don't worry. We'll get our music here soon enough."

"Which naturally brings up the subject of creationism, the sancity of marriage and strong family values..."

"Wait, I thought we wrapped up this whole mission back in 2003."

A Quick Moment with Carol

I WANT A FUCKING RADIOHEAD PIT TICKET FOR TOMORROW NIGHT AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO BLOW ANYONE TO GET IT.

xoxo,
Carol

Andres du Bouchet in HILARILOGUES--Tonight and Wednesday!

Tonight, June 12 & Wednesday, June 14
8:15pm
Center Stage
48 W. 21st St.
(Between 5th Ave. & 6th Ave)
$12

From The Onion:
"Andres du Bouchet's arsenal of absurdist alter-egos includes an Atticus Finch-esque Southern attorney, a hyperactive entertainer from "Boliviguay," an ex-mobster named Frankie No-Pants and a number of other weirdoes. A comedian who slips on characters like comfortable shoes, du Bouchet has a booming voice and a penchant for accents that lends his act a somewhat subversive air of theatricality. Here, du Bouchet (in multiple guises) runs through a rotating line-up of his weirdest, funniest monologues, including the always-enthralling 'Naked Tramplone Hamlet.'"

Francesco Marciuliano's Eye Opener

I Was a Rock & Roll God, Part Two: The Rise and Fall of a Childhood Friendship over the Course of Seven Full-Length Albums and One Movie Soundtrack
Francesco Marciuliano

Full Article

Note: Before reading the above article, please see: I Was a Rock & Roll God, Part One: The All-True Story of a Band Called Coach

Two New Columns Up!

"A Quick Moment with Carol" from Monday's Drink at Work.com Presents...
Carol Hartsell

Full Article


Closted, Vaguely 80's-Themed High School Meathead Trying His Best to Be a Bond Villain
Sean Crespo

Full Article

Drink at Work.com Summer Movie Spectacular

The Drink at Work.com Summer Movie Preview

The Meaning of Life, By Way of Sally Field and Movies About Terrorists...And Something About My Over-Idealization of Men, Too

Quotes from Godzilla's Own DVD Commentaries

Suggested Scenes for the New Superman Movie

How to Tell if You Just Blew Good Money to See a Bad Independent Film

Excerpts from "Acting Up! 25 Great Monologues for Horror Movie Cliches"

Mrs. Montesano's Third-Grade Class Thanks Columbia Pictures for Inviting Them to the World Premiere of "Basic Instinct 2"

Payback: The Other Movie with the Exact Same Title

Quotes from Summer 2006 Movies

Typical Ain't It Cool News.com Talkback Posts

Why I'm Only a Man

Dumbass Quote of the Week

“I will interpret the law strictly as it is written without inserting my own personal opinion…I will fight against abortion because this is against my strong Christian values.”
--Drayton Nabers in campaign ad for Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court

Thanks to Chris!

Pat Robertson Claims to Leg-Press a Ton

Seriously. Report courtesy of CNN.com and AP Newswire.

You know, a little while ago on these very pages I wrote a brief article titled Pat Robertson Quotes Taken from Previously Unpublished 700 Club Transcripts. Now I must add another to that list:

"God works in mysterious ways. Take me for example. God gave me the strength of a thousand radioactive ants, all in my legs and maybe my abdomen. A 76-year-old man! Plus, I think I can fly. And, when I squint, I get double vision, so I know I can clone things instantly. My hearing's not as good as it used to be but I more than make up for that with the heat-seeking missiles that no doubt shoot forth from my fingers and toes. Haven't tried that yet. Waiting for something big. But I'm puting the Unitarians on alert. Fire from my digits! Fire from my digits!"

What's Perplexing on the Web Right Now

The U.S. Senate actually made the right choice for once?

The band Live still has a major-label record deal?

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God?

Jewelry made out of doll parts?

Akira Kurosawa directed Suntory whiskey ads--starring Francis Ford Coppola?! (Strike a familiar chord, fans of Lost in Translation?)

Corey Pandolph's Discouraging Word

A Rock Star’s Commencement Speech for the Graduating Class 0f 2006
Corey Pandolph

Full Article

6-6-06: How to Tell the Real Me from My Evil Parallel-Universe Me Should I Ever Have to Plead with You to "Shoot the Fake Me!"

Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Noticeable proclivity toward murder
Real Me
• Had bad nightmares for a week after running over first hooker in “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City”


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Frequently threatens populace
Real Me
• Often apologizes for rain


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Startlingly self-sufficient, goal-oriented
Real Me
• Entering third straight day of working in total darkness at home office, having not replaced halogen bulb because of, well, you know...stuff...


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Smoldering gaze makes him a magnet for the ladies
Real Me
• Inability to maintain eye contact makes it appear as if I'm endlessly fascinated with carpeting


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Natural ease with most tools and weapons, be they projectile, serrated or telepathic
Real Me
• If it can't be opened with scissors then there's probably a damn good reason it's sealed


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Can bend anyone's will to his favor
Real Me
• Have immediately found myself on the defensive after voicing font choice.


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Sports scar on left cheek from ax duel
Real Me
• Sports scar on right knee from sparkler incident


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Inevitably causes bar fight
Real Me
• Inevitably winds up in back of bar, alone, intensely studying text messages no one has actually sent


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Cats hiss in presence, dogs howl, horses take flight
Real Me
• Was just recently punched in the balls by a toddler


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Concludes even the most casual query with "Answer me!"
Real Me
• Concludes even the most forthright statement with “Or what you said."


Evil Parallel-Universe Me
• Successfully defeats identical nemesis with well-placed punch through rib cage and spine
Real Me
• Fails to win over identical nemesis by launching into "Let's Get Together" from Disney's The Parent Trap

Drink at Work.com Presents...TONIGHT!

DRINK AT WORK.COM PRESENTS...
A Memorably Festive Evening of Festively Memorable Comedy and Music
Monday, June 5th (TONIGHT!)
8:00 P.M.
Siberia
40th St. at 9th Ave (It's the black door under the red light)
FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comedy and Music by:
Mike Birbiglia
Rob Paravonian
Gabe McKinley
Bryan Olsen
Brandy and Sara
Sean Crespo
Balthrop, Alabama
DJ Craig Baldo

Hosted by Your Drink at Work.com Bartenders:
Carol Hartsell and Francesco Marciuliano

Sunday 80's Music Video Brunch

Rick Springfield--Jessie's Girl


Golden Earring--Twilight Zone


And now a word from our sponsor...


Thanks to Paul for making it all so possible.

Shows, Shows, Shows

Lots of good stuff coming up starting with your Friday night Sophie's Choice:

FRIDAY

The Rob and Mark Show

---

Friday, June 2
8:00
The Parkside Lounge
317 Houston Street (Btwn B & C)
Cost: $5

The Rob and Mark Show will rock you like a gentle lover and a wild man beast at the same time. I'm not sure what I mean by that, accept that these guys are wonderful and you should check out their monthly show...tonight.

However, if you enjoy rocking in a different borough you might enjoy attending a show with the next greatest band of all time:

Pela

---

Friday, June 2
Northsix
66 North 6th Street
Brooklyn
With Longwave & The English Department
Doors: 8:00
$10 advance
$12 day of show

I don't think I have to reiterate just how good these guys are. I am going to use the word "behoove" here.... It would BEHOOVE you to go see them.

Now, I know what you're thinking at this point. "That's all well and good, Carol, but what do I do after the rock? Where shall park my well-shaken ass and have some smart cocktails for the rest of the evening." Well, you're in luck! I have another suggestion:

Sweet Paprika

---

Friday, June 2
10:30
The D-Lounge
101 E. 15th Street (in the basement)
Cost: $5

Allison and Ophira run a great show and the room is fabulous. Tonight's line-up also features two other people I love, Susan Prekel and Baron Vaughn.

That about does your Friday, so let's move right along, shall we?


SATURDAY

Moonwork

---

Saturday, June 3
9:00
The Greenwich Village Center
219 Sullivan Street
between Bleecker & West 3rd
Cost: $20 (includes free beer)

One of the best comedy rooms in the city has wrapped for the summer, but the good folks behind this always stellar show are treating us to one last taste before they head off to focus on their next Shakespeare production. The line-up includes Drink at Work favorite, Tom Shillue.

Alternatively, you could check out one of the funniest guys in New York doing a set at a swank West Village cabaret bar:

Craig Baldo

---

Saturday, June 3
9:30
The Duplex
61 Christopher Street
(at 7th Ave.)

You can't say enough good things about Craig Baldo. He's brilliantly, effortlessly hilarious, he's adorable and charming, and he has flawless taste in music. He's also the Drink at Work show's resident DJ. So go show him some love.

Speaking of the Drink at Work show:


MONDAY

Drink at Work.com Presents...

---

Monday, June 5
8:00
Siberia
40th St. @ 9th Ave. (black door under a red light)
FREE!

I don't want to over sell it, but this show is going to rock balls. Great comics, characters, Powerpoint presentations, music...it'll all be there in that dank pit we've come to call home.


UPCOMING

And finally, starting a week from today, the world will tremble at the feet of one man so talented, so brilliant, so hilarious that his one-man show could go by but one name:

Andres du Bouchet in HILARILOGUES

---

June 9, 12 & 14 @ 8:15pm
Center Stage
48 W. 21st St.
(5th Ave. & 6th Ave)
$12

See what Andres is doing in that picture? He's laughing. That is what he will make you do. His one-man show will feature several monologues and characters that you won't be able to get out of your head anytime soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for my personal favorite, "Naked Trampoline Hamlet."

Last Moonwork Comedy Show of the Season Tomorrow Night!

Moonwork Presents
An Evening of Original Works
Saturday, June 3rd at 9pm

One More for the Road, featuring:
Demetri Martin
Ben Bailey
Kristen Schaal
James Wolfe
and
Tom Shillue

The Greenwich Village Center
219 Sullivan Street
between Bleecker & West 3rd
$20

But During "Meet the Press" They Get Along Just Fine

Courtesy of Corey and WNBZ:

Man Attacks Mother Over "American Idol" Comment

A Plattsburgh man is facing felony charges for allegedly striking his mother in the head after the two disagreed about the fate of an “American Idol” contestant.

According to court records, 24-year-old Cory Favreau was discussing the television show with his mother, Jan Chagnon, on May 24th — the night of the finale.

His mother made comments that contestant Katharine McPhee was going to have a successful career despite losing to another contestant, Taylor Hicks.

Favreau allegedly stood up, made a malicious comment to his mother and struck her in the head with a sharpened, cross-shaped object attached to a bicycle chain.

Court records say the two were drinking alcohol at the time.

The mother was treated at CVPH Medical Center for a cut to the top of her head and was released.

Favreau was charged with second-degree assault and third-degree criminal possession of a weapon. He was sent to Clinton County Jail, where he was still being held on five-thousand dollars cash bail.

Sean Crespo Will Teach You Satire

How to Tell If Your House is Haunted or Your Child Has Been Molested Based on the Crayon Drawings of Your Children

By Sean Crespo and Francesco Marciuliano

Full Article

Mike Birbiglia added to "Drink at Work.com Presents" on Monday, June 5th

DRINK AT WORK.COM PRESENTS...
A Memorably Festive Evening of Festively Memorable Comedy and Music
Monday, June 5th
8:00 P.M.
Siberia
40th St. at 9th Ave (It's the black door under the red light)
FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comedy and Music by:
Mike Birbiglia
Rob Paravonian
Gabe McKinley
Bryan Olsen
Brandy and Sara
Sean Crespo
Balthrop, Alabama
DJ Craig Baldo

Hosted by Your Drink at Work.com Bartenders:
Carol Hartsell and Francesco Marciuliano