Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Unseen. Unforgotten.
A special report from the Birmingham News


March 6, 1957: Lamar Weaver, an early supporter of civil rights, greets the Rev. Fred Shuttlesworth and his wife, Ruby, in the whites-only waiting room at Birmingham's train depot, Terminal Station.

The Birmingham News has published an amazing series of never-before-seen photographs of the civil rights movement in Alabama. As the story explains...
The section is the result of research by Alexander Cohn, a 30-year-old former photo intern at The News. In November 2004, Cohn went through an equipment closet at the newspaper in search of a lens and saw a cardboard box full of negatives marked, "Keep. Do Not Sell."

Cohn, who grew up in Mountain Brook and is a master's candidate at the University of Missouri, researched the images and discovered that many had never been published.

With the cooperation of The News, Cohn interviewed dozens of photographers, clergymen, elected officials, civil rights movement participants, historians and other witnesses to the events. More than 30 photos appear in today's special section, and dozens more are available on the newspaper's Web site at www.al.com/unseen.
Take a look.

Cold Day Afternoon

While some of our readers may be basking in the sun at this very moment, sipping mojitos and seducing naive hotel pool attendants, many are currently suffering through a cold snap so unbearable that the Old Farmer's Almanac prediction for the past few days consisted of just one word--"Move."

In fact, thanks to the inclement weather you may very well be drinking at home today rather than at work. So for all those who don't have any hobbies to busy themselves, any books to read or any idea of how to pass the time away without an Excel sheet, we present you with a short list of actual daytime TV movie-viewing options:

Evil Alien Conquerors (2002): Two aliens fall for human women and abandon their plans to behead all Earthlings.

Little Cigars (1973): A young girl becomes the leader of a gang of midget bank robbers.

Ring of Darkness (2004): A new boy-band member learns his musical cohorts are zombies.

Tooth (2004): A young, feisty Tooth Fairy misses the Fairytopia of old and the magic that was at the heart of it.

Vampires: The Turning (2004): Seeking to kill all mortals, a vampire kidnaps a kickboxer's girlfriend.

Walk Like a Man (1987): A man (Howie Mandel) reenters society after having been raised by wolves.

Corey Pandolph's Discouraging Word

Comedy Writing's Silent Killer
Corey Pandolph


In my continuing attempts to weasel my way into the groups that write the funny, I’ve observed a potentially deadly problem: brain vomiting. It seems when the group is really in sync, really churning out some comedy gold, a brain vomit can abruptly break down the groove and destroy any hope of success.

Full Article

Monday, February 27, 2006

Continuing Our Ode to Family

Kambri Crews--the head of production and public relations company Ballyhoo Productions--recenty had an an eye-opening (and mouth-gaping) essay published in the acclaimed online salon for personal essays, Fresh Yarn. It's a great preview of her larger work in progress, Love, Daddy--Letters and Stories from My Jailed, Deaf Dad

Just Like My Daddy
Kambri Crews


It was August 12, 2003. The former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards, was giving a speech at a private party held in her honor, and said "…and I'd like to thank Kambri Crews…" To her, I was a producer, event planner and publicist. Little did she know that I grew up in a tin shed, my parents are deaf, I witnessed my dad try to kill my mom, and he is now imprisoned for attempting to kill his girlfriend.

Full Article

A Quick Moment with Carol vs. Office Overhearsions™

I am adopting a zero-tolerance policy for anyone still doing the "Bueller...Bueller..." joke. From now on, if you take it upon yourself to yank this rock-hard turd of a reference out of your douche-puckered bunghole, I will personally stuff the upper half of you into the lower half and roll your ass down the hallway.

xoxo,
Carol

This Week's Eye Opener

Everything Was Going Great Until the Funeral: A True Account of False Hope
Francesco Marciuliano


"I swear, if he fucking went to Alabama again I'm gonna kill him. That bastard is dead to me."

Full Article

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Sitcom Theme Music, The Series: Episode 3


MP3: Mr. Belvedere Theme Song
VIDEO: Mr. Belvedere Opening Credits
What if a posh British butler showed up at the doorstep of a two-career family in suburban Pittsburgh and they decided to welcome him as one of their own? What if a drunk Russian cosmonaut showed up at the doorstep of a down-on-its-luck sorority in southern California and they decided to welcome him as one of their own? What if amnesiac Harlem Globetrotters Meadowlark Lemon and Curly Neal showed up at the doorstep of unsupervised geriatric patients in--what the hell?--Jupiter, Florida and they decided to welcome them as one of their own?

No doubt the creators of Mr. Belvedere arrived at ABC Studios with an armful of such high-concept pitches, only to ultimately settle on the one they lifted wholesale from a 1948 Clifton Webb movie (since nothing connects with the average American viewer like an effete, studio system-era comedy of manners). The resulting series was initially conceived as a star vehicle for Bob Uecker, a one-time godawful baseball player who had found latter-day success as a spokesman for a series of funny 1980's Miller Lite commercials (back when beer commercials made you laugh with them, not make you want to hurl something at them). The theme song was performed by Leon Redbone, a jazz and blues musician who also had found renewed fame in a 1980's Budweiser commercial. In fact, so prevalent were beer commercials in the minds of programmers and viewers alike back in the eighties that one can only imagine what prevented the world from ever witnessing Spuds McKenzie, MD, a sitcom about the new doctor at the veterinarian hospital who--wait for it--is also a former patient.

The basic plot--stranger is taken aback by real or makeshift family only to eventually become a member of said family--is a standard sitcom device, used to great effect in Cheers, Mary Tyler Moore and--most regrettably--Hogan's Heroes. Mr. Belvedere also employed the standard sitcom device of having the main character reflect on what he or she has learned from each episode's events in the form of a diary or confessional. It was a move first popularized by Mork in his reports to Orson, then later revisted when Doogie Howser shared his thoughts on a 12K Commodore computer. But undoubtedly the best use of the "confessional" device came in the final episode of St. Elsewhere, when we learned that not only was the entire series the product of a mentally-handicapped child's imagination, but that the mentally-handicapped child was, in actuality, a character in the alternate-universe diary Roseanne was writing in the final episode of her series, only for Bob Newhart to wake up from that dream next to Suzanne Pleshette...who was, in truth, time traveller Sam Beckett, who sadly just had found out that not only was he never going to leap back into his own body but that he was, in fact, Number One.

In short, Mr. Belvedere was very much a standard sitcom. This is in no way meant to be a slight at the series or those involved. I remember catching an episode or two during my college summers and finding the show humorous enough. I also remember thinking that the actor playing youngest son Wesley could portray the stock wisecracking, conniving child character without me ever wishing any real harm on the character or actor. But Mr. Belvedere was clearly one of those sitcoms that people remember being on the air but don't necessarily remember sitting down to watch, much like Charles in Charge. Sure, whenever you see the name Charles in Charge you involuntarily launch into its theme song ("Charles in Charge of our days and our nights/Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights"). But do you ever remember hanging out with your friends only to exclaim, "Holy shit! It's time for Charles in Charge!" ("Charles in Charge of our days and our nights/Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights") Do you ever remember saying after your best friend/goofball sidekick did something stupid, "Oh man, you are so like Buddy...from Charles in Charge." ("Charles in Charge of our days and our nights/Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights") Do you ever wonder how a person who says he can't recall ever watching Charles in Charge ("Charles in Charge of our days and our nights/Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights") not only remembers the name of Willie Aames' character but actually remembers that the character was played by Willie Aaames--without the benefit of Google? Sure, you can understand him fondly recalling fellow cast member Nicole Eggert, but Willie Aaaames?! Perhaps all this is my mind's roundabout way of telling me that this episode of Sitcom Theme Music instead should have been about Charles in Charge ("Charles in Charge of our days and our nights/Charles in Charge of our wrongs and our rights").

But it's about Mr. Belvedere, a pleasant sitcom so standard we wound up discussing everything but Mr. Belvedere...which may be the truest summary of this mid-to-late 8o's show we can give. So sit back and enjoy the opening credits and theme song. Then later ask yourself, "I wonder whatever happened to the actors who portrayed the mom and kids on Mr. Belvedere." Then ask yourself, "I wonder whatever happened to the actress who played the teenage daughter on ALF." Then ask yourself, "I wonder whatever happened to the entire cast of Mama's Family." Keep doing this. Eventually you'll go mad with concern.

Previously on Sitcom Theme Music:
The Pilot Episode: The Brady Brides, Angie, Alice and Joanie Loves Chachi
Episode Two: Love, American Style

Note: Music and video clips made possible by Sitcoms Online unless otherwise mentioned.

Special Note to Katya: We will cover "One Day at a Time" in the very near future.

Friday, February 24, 2006

The Friday DrinkPod Download

I know I've been lax on getting these posted, but I promise to be back to form next week. However, since I've been such a bad music host, I have an extra special treat for you. Today's DrinkPod consists of exactly one song. And that's all you need. Frankly, this is all I've been listening to since the band made it available yesterday. If you haven't heard these guys before, feel free to email and thank me for introducing you to your new favorite band. Enjoy!

Lost to the Lonesome by Pela

Carol Hartsell is Only a Man

On Faith and Fighting
Carol Hartsell


It has occurred to me that I am a bit like a Jack Russell Terrier. I’m small, weak and testy, but I bark like I can tear everyone else apart.

Full Article

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Office Overhearsions™ (special guest contribution from Corey)

Chick who sits next to him, on phone:

"Yes we do newsletters. No, we don't write them...although...my co-worker is some sort of comedy writer and he looks like he needs the work."

A Quick Moment with Carol

Dear Current and Former Sorority Girls and Frat Guys:

The band James recorded many albums between 1986 and 2001 and I have all of them. They have been one of my favorite bands for many years and I had the good fortune of seeing them live on tour in support of their 1997 album Whiplash.

It is because of my pure love for this accomplished band that I humbly implore you, stop playing the song Laid everytime you're out at a bar. Stop screaming, "This is my song!" as soon as the opening notes sound. And stop singing along, off-key at the top of your lungs. 1) It's not your song. 2) You only know it because it was in American Pie. 3) While a fun song, it's probably the most minor track on the spectacular album of the same name. 4) You come very close to getting the business-end of a recently broken beer bottle jammed in your eye socket when you do this.

xoxo,
Carol

Sean Crespo Will Teach You Satire


Small Liberal Arts Colleges' Sports Mascots
Sean Crespo


Full Article

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Office Overhearsions™ (I'm having a good week)

New sales strategy from the Ad Director:

"Let's make sure we're on top of our clients."

What I Fear I'll See at the New York ComicCon This Saturday

Attendees with wingspans

Cartoonists referring to their characters in the second-person

A 48-year-old man arguing with his mother

People who become violently upset when you confuse Ghost Rider with Ghostwriter

Johnnhy Hart trying to stop an elf wedding

Floor models who either need a better agent or a more discriminating pimp

Someone solemnly saying, "With great power comes great responsibility"--after being handed a deck of theme cards

A crowd that can be divided into two groups: 1) Those too young to recall Thundercats and 2) Those who would gladly die for Cheetara

A self-published graphic comic ode that will scare the crap out of Jessica Alba

Me, experiencing a massive panic attack when I walk into an elevator packed with Furries

Nick Jezarian's Tangential Stupidity


Olympics or International Stupidfest
Nick Jezarian


Let’s review the Olympics though, shall we? The Olympics is essentially a party time when all the countries of the world get together, bring a dish of their own choosing and then a giant potluck dinner of an opening ceremony ensues. No one can make sense of it but Muhammad Ali usually represents the United States and it’s a sign of great courage we’re told.

Full Article

Office Pirates Launches...I mean, sets sail...I mean, rapes your wench...yeah, that's it...Office Pirates rapes your wench!

Hey, male 21-34 demographic — of which we have MANY — check this out. It's a new Web site targeted towards your miserable career, suck-ass life and declining expectations! Our peeps over at OfficePirates.com launched this morning, so have a look see.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Office Overhearsions™, Part 2: The Quickening

A director, during a meeting:

"Whatever we need to get done, we'll get done...as long as it's doable."

Office Overhearsions™

Two coworkers at the printer on the other side of my cubicle wall:

Man: So how was your weekend?

Woman: I had a really kick ass weekend.

Man: Oh really?

Woman: Yeah.

Man: What'd you do?

Woman: Well, remember how I said I needed a dress?

Man: Oh yeah. That worked out for you then?

Woman: Yeah. I found a really amazing dress.

Man: Ah.

Woman: Now I want to wear it all the time.

Man: Are you going to wear it to work tomorrow?

Woman: I don't think it's really work-appropriate.

Man: Hey, let me be the judge of that. [laughter]

[I wonder what would happen if I threw a box of X-Acto blades over the wall.]

Corey Pandolph's Discouraging Word


I Don't Like You or Your Banana Bread
Corey Pandolph


One day, while peering through one of our drafty windows, I noticed something odd. There were other houses next to, and across from, our own. People came and went from these places, several times each day. I beckoned my wife to the drafty window. She looked, and in a word, explained it all--“Neighbors.”

Full Article

Monday, February 20, 2006

Jesus Appears in Spit Take!

I didn't realize this at first, but in this photo, taken by me at last Thursday's Sweet! Comedy Show at the Slipper Room, Jesus totally appears. Look in the spit mist over the contestant's shoulder. See the face? Jesus. No photoshop work was done on this other than sizing, I swear.

Holy shit it's Jesus!

Drink at Work: Now with divine authority. Bless you all.

What "Fox & Friends" Steve Doocy Should Shove Up His Ass This Week

This Week's Eye Opener


A Day in the Life of Dick Cheney, Lone Wolf
Francesco Marciuliano


8:15 A.M.: Cheney urinates in corner of West Wing hallway. When later asked why he did not simply use the bathroom two doors down or at least wait until the tour group had passed out of sight, Cheney mutters, “It’s a private matter.”

Full Article
Special Note: For all those fearing a gag run dry, the article makes no mention of--nor is it a commentary on--the Vice President's shooting of a man in the face and heart.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Sitcom Theme Music, The Series: Episode 2

When I was a kid Saturday was the day for television. My mornings were jam-packed like a bowl of Cookie Crisp and Vanilla Crunch with such treats as Scooby-Doo Mysteries, The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan, Clue Club and countless other cartoons no doubt pitched as "The Hardy Boys but with a chase-sequence song." My evenings were crammed with such classics as Emergency!, S.W.A.T. The Carol Burnett Show and, of course, the one-two punch that was Love Boat and Fantasy Island. My afternoons--well, I just hope to God I went outside or at least got off the couch to pee.

So in honor of that very special day from what is increasingly appearing to be a clinically special childhood, we announce the premiere of our very own Saturday TV series, Sitcom Theme Music. Yes, every Saturday I'll focus on a single 70's or 80's television opening credit song and sequence, if only because I'm not qualified or socially concerned enough to impart anything of actual value or wisdom. So prepare yourself some Lipton Giggle Noodle, pour yourself a glass of Funny Face Goofy Grape, remove the spider eggs from your Bubble Yum and get ready to go back to a time when dynamite was not only an explosve but also a magazine.


MP3: Love, American Style Theme Song
VIDEO: Love, American Style Opening Credits
The year was 1969. The counterculture revolution was in full swing, millions protested the Vietnam War and "free love" was the mantra of the time. And it was at that very moment in our nation's history when ABC, believing to have its finger on the pulse of society, introduced a show whose very name celebrated patriotism and romance. A show whose very lyrics ("And on a star spangled night my love, (My love come to me)/ You can rest your head on my shoulder/ Out by the dawn's early light, my love/ I will defend your right to try") seemed to be the national anthem remixed by Starland Vocal Band. A show whose very logo forever entwined the ideas of the heart and the American flag, as if to say "There is only one true love under God, and it sure as hell ain't what those freak-ass Italians are practicing over in Swarthyland." The fact that Love, American Style proved a success clearly says something about the remarkable resilience of traditional American values. The fact that Love, American Style sucked and yet still was a hit says something even more about what in fact Americans traditionally do value.

Unlike the typical sitcom--which features a regular cast of characters in a particular setting going about their lives--Love, American Style was an hour-long comedic anthology with different casts in varying settings focusing solely on the topic of romance. In short, the series was nothing but an endless parade of guest stars, the thought process being that if the audience didn't particularly care for what Nancy Walker brought to the complex notion of love they need only wait a week to see what Jim Nabor's formidable acting chops could shine on the subject. Each week the opening credits would show which B-level celebrity was about to make whoopie with what jury member from a decade-old Perry Mason, all to the lilting voices of the Cowsills, best known for making the title track to Hair sound like it was actually about fighting the frizzies.

Perhaps the most famous episode of the series--in that it's the only one people who do not list Love, American Style on their CV can remember--was "Love and the Happy Days," which served as the pilot episode for Happy Days. It is that very episode's opening credit sequence we feature here today. Keen eyes will note that many of the actors starring in this very pilot went on to steadier paychecks in the resulting series, including Ron Howard, Marion Ross and--much to Anson Williams' complete shock--Anson Williams. Keener eyes will also note that an actor plays the seldom-seen older brother of Richie Cunningham, Chuck, who was eventually written out of Happy Days with a muffled off-screen gunshot during the epsiode in which Fonzie's cousin tries to break the world record for catching quarters balanced on his elbow.

So sit back, turn on the credits and recall a time when love was "truer than the red, white and blue" and the phrase "America--Love it or leave it" was referring specifically to courtship.

Previously on Sitcom Theme Music:
The Pilot Episode: The Brady Brides, Angie, Alice and Joanie Loves Chachi

Note: Music and video clips made possible by Sitcoms Online unless otherwise mentioned.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Carol Hartsell Is Only a Man


Why I'm Only a Man
Carol Hartsell


When I was a kid, one of my teachers asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. My response was, simply, “A boy.” When queried further I explained in what I can only assume was an exasperated tone, “Because girls can’t do anything!”

Full Article

What "Fox & Friends" Steve Doocy Should Shove Up His Ass This Week

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Sean Crespo Will Teach You Satire


Sean Crespo's Indie Band Brander®
Sean Crespo


By far, one of the simplest methods to lend your indie band that façade of eclecticism necessary in appealing to the trust fund babies in Salvation Army clothes who make up the majority of the indie scene is this simple pairing of gerunds with proper nouns. Simple, yet it powerfully evokes the kind of visceral aloofness and snarkiness that would make one of these hipsters smile, if it wasn’t totally gay to smile that is.

Full Article

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Nick Jezarian's Tangential Stupidity


30-Year-Old White Male Seeks Hip Hop
Nick Jezarian


Dear Hip Hop,

I’m writing to you so you can help lead me to where the good songs are, where the good acts are and to explain to me what pushing rhymes like weight really means. Please accept the following as my application for acceptance into your club.

Full Article

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

New Humor Columns Five Days a Week (We Rest on Sundays and Shoot 78-Year-Old Men on Saturdays)

What is humor? A means of personal/social catharsis? An implement for cruelty? Something done in lists of three?

Since the dawn of time man has grappled with the subjective nature of humor, asking himself "Why I laugh?" when one of his tribe would trip right into a tar pit, quickly sketch a penis in the mouth of a bison drawing or light a fire while residing in a tree, eliminating both his clan and two species of birds. He has wondered why some people find humor in parody, others in slapstick and still others--for reasons that even the greatest minds have yet to comprehend--in the last ten years of Saturday Night Live.

To help you draw your own conclusions on the nature of humor, we at Drink at Work.com are proud to announce our very own Daily Humor Columns. Even the very name of the new enterprsie smacks of comedy...well, anti-comedy...maybe humorous understatement? Well, perhaps you'll like simply calling them "Columns," as we have done in our menu bar at the top of this page.

Anyway...Monday through Friday, the following humor columnists will offer their own humorous take on a humorous subject they feel can best be explored with their own particular wry sense of humor--with humor!

Monday: Francesco Marciuliano's Eye Opener
Tuesday: Corey Pandolph's Discouraging Word
Wednesday: Nick Jezarian's Tangential Stupidity
Thursday: Sean Crespo Will Teach You Satire
Friday: Carol Hartsell Is Only a Man

So with that in mind we are very pleased to introduce our first regular contribuor, Corey Pandolph, with his article Things I'd Like to Be...and Get Paid Handsomely For.



Consider it our first step in understanding humor, or what the unbelievably hilarious French philosopher Henri Bergson called "the encrustation of the mechanical upon the living."

"Encrustation." Now that's a funny word!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Set a Course for Adventure, Your Mind on a New Romance


Well, tomorrow is Valentine's Day—or as anyone not currently involved in a relationship likes to call it, "The Second Tuesday this February." Whether you're hoping to embrace or simply endure the upcoming holiday, we at Drink at Work.com would like to give you some advice on how to make the most or least of this big or insignificant day:

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day
• Should you be dining out, select a restaurant where the ambience cannot succinctly be captured by the phrase "Now with Six Large-Screen TVs!" "All-Night Rolling Rock Specials!" or "Flavor Station."
• A gift does not have to be expensive to be expressive of your true feelings. That said, any present that prominently features the statement "Cool Ranch" may say little more than that you passed a corner grocer on your way to your date.
• While you're certainly not expected to pen a romantic sonnet for the ages, do remember that a Valentine's Day card is not the proper medium to showcase your ribald sense of humor, your unwillingness to let go of past grievances or your ability to find just the right rhyme for "cameltoe."

How to Tolerate Valentine's Day
• While you need not avoid restaurants this holiday, it may prevent you from remarking to any celebrants within earshot just how fat people get when they're in a long-term relationship.
• Try to amuse yourself by always preceding the phrase "happy couple" with the word "supposedly."
• Should a coworker ask if you have a date for the big day, quickly yet politely change the topic of conversation to address your fellow employee's remarkably poor taste in fashion, their woeful skin care regimen or just about any failing on their part that immediately catches your eye and ire.

This Week's Eye Opener


The Diary of Mattel's Ken Doll, Post Break-Up
Francesco Marciuliano


Full Article

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Reunited and It Feels Like Brand Retooling


According to an article in today's New York Times, Barbie and Ken have patched up their differences and gotten back together, just in time to curtail Mattel's nosedive into poverty.

According to Mattel, Barbie left Ken back in February 2004 for "Blaine" (we're almost happy this isn't a joke), thereby proving that when it comes to men everybody's favorite peroxide blonde is:

A. Without any radar whatsoever
B. Really in it for the challenge
-OR-
C. Just wants a partner with similar interests

Alas, two years later Barbie finally realized that lovers can only sit side-by-side on the bed flagging pages in Lucky and Cargo for so long before ennui sets in, questions are raised and a kitchen remodeling is put on hold. And so Barbie returned to the only man in her life who not only really got who she is but could also wear Banana Republic's "Double Zero" pants.

Those longing for the plastic romance of yore, however, are in for a surprise. Ken is returning to Barbie a changed man (we'll pause while you think up your own penis joke). Gone are the swimming trunks, T-shirts, perma-tan and rumors of any liaison with Jann Wenner. Want to know what Barbie can now expect when Ken comes roaring back into town, no doubt in a hybrid dream car and listening to a Starbucks Radio podcast? Then read the following checklist, all of which is 100% true and all of which can be verified by reading the aforementioned article:

* According to Mattel, Ken was so heartbroken that he traveled Europe and the Middle East in search of himself, dabbling in "Buddhism, Catholicism and cooking," all of which could have easily been achieved in a single weekend at the Learning Annex.

* The new Ken has been restyled by "celebrity primper" Philip Bloch, who has dressed Pierce Brosnan, Johnny Depp and Sean Combs and who clearly has never taken a moment to stop and think just what exactly is he doing with his life.

* Ken's new wardrobe will include "cargo pants, a fitted suit with peak lapels and a motorcycle jacket," all in a bold attempt to make him look like every asshole in every bar in every business district around the world.

* Mr Bloch views his remodeled Ken as "Matthew McConaughey meets Orlando Bloom," thereby harnessing all the star power of two actors who have yet to successfully open a motion picture on the basis of their name alone.

* Ken now listens to Norah Jones, which means he has now officially made the leap from sexual cipher to soccer mom.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

A Quick Moment with Carol

I'm sitting in a charming cafe in Greenwich Village...not a Starbucks...a neighborhood cafe. It has tile floors, antique furniture, good coffee and hearty, warming soups.

Right now, they're playing Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits. "I'm Bad" is on.

You know, if I wanted to feel like I'm in a Spencer Gifts, I would have gone to a Spencer Gifts.

xoxo,
...................who's bad?
Carol <-------this girl.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Permanent Link for Fozzie Bear Article

http://www.drinkatwork.com/art020606.html

I'll start uploading these with the permanent link from now on.

Monday, February 06, 2006

This Week's Eye Opener


The Comedy Career of Fozzie Bear
Francesco Marciuliano


Full Article

Medium Large--Now in Another Medium

We are proud to announce that starting today our comic strip Medium Large makes its first regular newspaper appearance, courtesy of the great folks of The Observer, the independent student newspaper of Rutgers University.

If your college newspaper would like to run Medium Large, or your alternative weekly would like to run it, or you know a paper that would be a good fit for it--in short, if you could do all the hard work for us in our half-assed attempt to syndicate Medium Large, that would be pretty cool. Really, it would.

Friday, February 03, 2006

The Friday DrinkPod Download

Tips for Celebrating Super Bowl XL

* Despite all your hours of practicing, all those expensive dance lessons, none of the partygoers will be impressed by your flawless performance of “The Super Bowl Shuffle.”

* Shouting “Some of us are trying to read here!” will only alienate you from your fellow bar patrons.

* Telling guests at great length your home’s “Proper Rules for Party Conduct” will result in what police typically refer to as “spite damage.”

* Use the large gathering to help defray costs and celebrate two events concurrently, such as “Go Seahawks!/In Memoriam, Miriam.”

* “Wanna take this outside?!?” is no way to resolve a disagreement over a Pepsi ad.

* Should you attend a Super Bowl party but have no interest in professional football, subtly steer the evening’s conversation toward the latest Harper’s Index.

* Save all questions like “Who are the guys in the black helmets?” for Google.

* Remember, there is only a two-second difference between “celebratory hug” and “stay the night.”

* Abstain from saying, "The girls on The View will have a field day with this!” out loud.

* If you are even mildly turned on by the Bud Bowl cheerleaders, it’s time to go home.

* Note that on any other day subsisting entirely on nachos supreme, chicken strips and Natural Light would be a drastic cry for help.

* Telling the television set “This isn’t over” after your team loses will more than likely unnerve your fellow viewers.

* When painting your entire body in your team’s colors, recall this handy phrase—“Lead equals dead.”

* Screaming “Don’t look at me!!!” is not going to make your crying over a sappy television commercial any less awkward.

* “Now what did we all learn from this?” is no way to wrap up a Super Bowl party.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

What the Groundhog Saw


The unreleased David-Lynch-directed version of Return of the Jedi, featuring Ewok fetuses.

The almost incomprehensible Schoolhouse Rock cartoon about the number "i."

Apes assuming global control through wealth management.

An actual bottle of Diet Rite.

Original draft of Bush’s State of the Union speech, calling for such initiatives as "be nice to kids" and "let's make Wednesday easier to spell."

The 1986 McDonald's commercial in which Ronald McDonald appears in a little girl's bedroom only for her to scream for a full 45 minutes.

Nothing, if he knows what's good for him.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

This Week's Eye Opener


Failed Fast Food Product Launches
Francesco Marciuliano


Full Article