Never-Published Ted Forth Dialogue
"Can you order the pizza, Sal? I get so jittery-twittery on the phone."
"A quick nuzzle to keep me warm until you come back?"
"Look, Sal! I'm caulking! I"M CAULKING!"
"I'm just so garrulous today."
"Let the the tea steep for three minutes."
"I can't stop trembing..."
"In the summer I tan to a fine nutmeg."
"Now THAT's a rammekin!"
"Oh, Nutter Butters. You'll be my downfall yet."
"I'm reading this amazing book on Olivia de Havilland..."
"Can you update my software, Sal? I'm just no good with electronics."
"Oh...Oh, God! They put milk in my latte..."
"That football tournament was wonderful. Simply wonderful."
"Mr. Sun's sure putting on a hot one for us today, huh?"
"I...I...I could have sworn Blue Velvet was the sequel to National Velvet..."
"Where are the tweezers?"
"Hammer time! Do, do-do-doo, do-do, do-do. More nails now!"
"MOTH!"
"If I ruled the world I would be making some bold color choices..."
"You gaze out on this beautiful autumn day and tell me it doesn't make YOU cry!"
"Something smells stinky..."
"Can you lead, Sal? I've just never been one for the dance."
"Delicious!"
posted by Francesco Marciuliano at 1:41 PM
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11 Comments:
Oh my God, is that panel real? Or is it from the "special" Sally Forth that they only print in the Advocate and Details?
jf
Hm. Sally doesn't look so smirksome right now.
Is it just me or do the rest of you read Sally Forth with a completely different mindset now? I consider every strip to be a possible shout-out to Drink and Work and Medium Large fans? I think "Is that totally innocuous bit of dialogue a reference to Ted's mafia past?".
I need help.
How come I can hear nearly every one of these in Ned Flanders' voice?
In the ninth one, you misspelled "merkin".
you forgot "So pickle jar, my old nemesis, we meet again"
Ted's my hero.
Man, Ces, when the guy who writes that strip finds out about this, he's gonna be pissed....
I know this is only tangentially related, but I wanted to say that I loved it in Sunday's Sally Forth when Sal's colleague discussed arranging her priorities in order of "deliciousness." That's going to be my new m.o.! Or maybe, I see now, Ted's.
You've inspired me! I thought of other things Ted could say, or should say, if the opportunity arises:
"That quiche was EXQUISITE!"
"Buy one pair of Dockers and get the second at half price? I am in HEAVEN!"
"If I've learned one thing Hilary, it's that you should always follow your dreams. Tomorrow I'm heading out to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan where I'll train to be a certified shaman, learning how to take people on traditional peyote vision quests."
As a St. Louis native, I'd love to see Ted perform in next summer's production of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" at the Muny outdoor theater.
Actually, I could see that "I'm caulking" line appearing in the strip. Ted just doesn't strike me as the mechanical type. Maybe it was the pickle jar.
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