Entries from Bobby Brown's Blog, Post Break-Up

"I don't need Whitney. I'm Bobby Brown! I can have any woman I want! Watch...Hey!...Hey, you!...Yeah, bitch down on the street! How about making it with me?...I'm Bobby Brown, that's who!...Bobby Brown!...BOBBY BROWN!...I'm Alfonso Ribeiro...Cool, I'll buzz you up..."

"With Whit out of my hair I can finally concentrate on MY music. What kind was it again? New jazz samba?"

"There's another Bobby Brown on the other side of this looking glass in the hallway. Handsome devil...but he appears to be snorting my coke. Yo, stop taking my candy!..No, YOU stop taking my candy!...No, YOU!...Oh, that's it. I'm getting the grenades!"

"You know what? Bobby Brown is going on tour! You hear that? Bobby Brown is going on tour! Fuck that. Fans will come over to my house for concerts! I'll sing to them in my kitchen. Make them omelets. They bring the eggs."

"For the record, I never hit Whitney. Captain Howdy did. Captain Howdy has done so many bad things. Maybe if I cut myself he'll leave through the opening in my skin."

"Hmm, seemed to have flipped over a double-decker tour bus on Fifth Avenue. Not sure how I got my hands on one of those or how I'm posting this blog entry right now. Probably because I'm Bobby Brown. Yeah, that's it...Hey, where did all these dead foreigners come from?"

"Called Whitney last night to give her one more chance. She said, 'Fuck you.' So I said 'Fuck me,' real sweet like. Then I woke up this morning on the front lawn yelling into some carp I stole from a neighbor's koi pond. When I finally hung up the fish I found the bank had auctioned off my house."

"Just moved into my new studio apartment. Got me a hot plate! Got me some soup! Gonna make me some soup on the hot plate! Man, I really should be writing these lyrics down..."

"You know what? Booby Brown is going to write a tell-all book! You hear that? Bobby Brown is going to write a tell-all book! Fuck that. Fans will come over to my bedroom and read me a book. We'll streak each other's hair. Wear Victorian dressing gowns. They bring the eggs."

"Caught a rerun of Being Bobby Brown on illegal cable last night. I appear to have been digitally removed from every scene. Guess I was too real for them...Wonder when we shot this series..."

"Mr. Montessano at Walgreen's said not to bother to come in to work again. Joke's on him. I'm already in jail."

"You know what? Bobby Brown is going to run for Senator! You hear that? Bobby Brown is going to run for Senator! Fuck that. Bobby Brown is just going to run. Hell, I'm already running. Shoes were slowing me down. So were the clothes. Run, Bobby! Run!!!"